To Have Or Not To Have?

[TPY 0]

same sentiments with Karen. share wat i had encountered.

Shame on them . Try MOE or KK, they sure encourage you. Jia You

Edited October 19, 2007 by TPY

[karen77sg 0]

My company is quite pro-family, many colleagues have children and some even plan for 3 kids.

Local company are more pro-family since higher management are also locals.

Yes I agree very much!

[cheesecake 0]

Cos most companies I go are Ang Mohs companies and feel tat their perception towards family is different from us...They treat marriage like a game and can divorce as and when they like...

The agent told me the other time tat I got rejected cos of "got intention to start family"...and I was so pissed off1 Anyway, good to noe before I get in!

Im in the govt sector currently & when i was interviewed, i get the same question too. As i was 23 last yr but marital status was married, but no. of children zero, they sort of grilled me. But they r v polite abt it lar, ended the interview saying they only wan to understd me & my plans better (huh!). Still im in now & to be real frank, i find it a pain in the *** to have cover my married colleagues with kids. I totally can understd when kids are young, they fall sick easily & parents wont be able to rest at nite etc etc. Sometimes, juz feel abit sour dat becos im childless, im always asked to cover. And esp my malay colleagues...not being racist here but its quite tough to work with ppl who are forever on child MC, childcare leave, maternity leave....I juz pray when my turn comes, i get the same kind of understanding from them.

[karen77sg 0]

Im in the govt sector currently & when i was interviewed, i get the same question too. As i was 23 last yr but marital status was married, but no. of children zero, they sort of grilled me. But they r v polite abt it lar, ended the interview saying they only wan to understd me & my plans better (huh!). Still im in now & to be real frank, i find it a pain in the *** to have cover my married colleagues with kids. I totally can understd when kids are young, they fall sick easily & parents wont be able to rest at nite etc etc. Sometimes, juz feel abit sour dat becos im childless, im always asked to cover. And esp my malay colleagues...not being racist here but its quite tough to work with ppl who are forever on child MC, childcare leave, maternity leave....I juz pray when my turn comes, i get the same kind of understanding from them.

U are the oni one without children in yr dept?

Bt I tink child leaves, maternity leaves and child MC cannot be avoided when u hv children.

U will understand when yr turn comes and I am sure yr koligs will understand when u are in the

same situation one day.

[hello88 2]

......Even the goverment is promoting the family life and worries of the low babies birth rates. Aware can complain MOM if they are straight front. reject you becoz of this. But normally people won't show and say Bla Bla Bla...... thank you for your application.

My take is, if the org is not supportive of famlily life, then this is not a company we could really work for long. Take this " Who don't have family?"

our govt is pro-family by giving out atrractive baby bonuses to up the birth rates. But there's still plenty of discrimination towards those planning to have kids. The numerous letters to ST shows that more should be done by MOM because the existing labour laws only covers unreasonable termination of service for a pregnant lady when she's so n so months into her pregnancy. Why cant they cover them regardless of their months of pregnancy. The existing labour law has too many loopholes and many companies are able to get away with it

do I sound like a victim? Luckily I'm not

[Cokelight 0]

There may be other unseen prejudice such as they give lesser chance for promotion to married women with kids etc.

Sometimes it also depends on the boss.

Though my company is pro-family, my boss prefers single women in his team. His team dun have any female colleagues who are married and have kids. So i figure it will be harder for me to get leave etc in future for such things. Already on taking hours off for maternal appointments/gynae checkups I believe he won't give me (although my other colleagues enjoy the benefits) and I probably have to take leave.

Imagine i can't even take holiday longer than 3 days, he will complain. The only thing he didnt complain is when i take 2 weeks for honeymoon, but he still say 2 weeks is long. My frens say 2 weeks to 6 europe countries is ored v rush ( and indeed it is but no choice, i have a stingy boss).

[karen77sg 0]

There may be other unseen prejudice such as they give lesser chance for promotion to married women with kids etc.

Sometimes it also depends on the boss.

Though my company is pro-family, my boss prefers single women in his team. His team dun have any female colleagues who are married and have kids. So i figure it will be harder for me to get leave etc in future for such things. Already on taking hours off for maternal appointments/gynae checkups I believe he won't give me (although my other colleagues enjoy the benefits) and I probably have to take leave.

Imagine i can't even take holiday longer than 3 days, he will complain. The only thing he didnt complain is when i take 2 weeks for honeymoon, but he still say 2 weeks is long. My frens say 2 weeks to 6 europe countries is ored v rush ( and indeed it is but no choice, i have a stingy boss).

Bt I tort annual leaves is our entitlement? And if cannot take leaves for more than 3 days, then how to clear leaves if there is a need?

[Cokelight 0]

Ya he prefer us to take leave like half day half day type.. not one shot a few days to 1-2 weeks.

[TPY 0]

Ya he prefer us to take leave like half day half day type.. not one shot a few days to 1-2 weeks.

Hey How about man going for National service. can he stop? Also man also can take child MC too. So Does that means he can nolonger recruite, retain any married personals?

Also does he have a family? Boo Boo bosses,

Maybe he needs more man talks not Man's thoughts

Edited October 22, 2007 by TPY

[Cokelight 0]

He is married with one kid. He go holiday with his kid during december.

No all his team is single and beyond age 30 and not married. 2 is already confirmed not marrying. Last time got 1 guy colleague married but all the years never have any kid. Then later he has kid and he need to take leave etc, then my boss didn't give him promotion and my male colleague left the company.

Lucky i just got promotion recently before i have kid so I guess i am saved for a few years (since few years won't have another promotion) but i guess leave is still v hard to take as usual. I have to book my leave 2-3 months ago, and he can still complain.

Last year for my wedding, i take 2 days for my wedding photoshoot and he complain to my manager why let me take leave when my project is doing TOP, but I book my leave 2 months ago (and who knows the TOP is delayed for 2 mths so how am i to know it will delay).

For gynae checkup, my colleagues will take time off from their superior (even if they dun have any time-off to take) for checkup so they dun have to use their leave or MC. BUt i tink my boss being so stingy, he won't allow me to use time-off so most likely I have to use leave for my gynae checkup dunno if got enuff leave or not.. sob.

[TPY 0]

He is married with one kid. He go holiday with his kid during december.

No all his team is single and beyond age 30 and not married. 2 is already confirmed not marrying. Last time got 1 guy colleague married but all the years never have any kid. Then later he has kid and he need to take leave etc, then my boss didn't give him promotion and my male colleague left the company.

Lucky i just got promotion recently before i have kid so I guess i am saved for a few years (since few years won't have another promotion) but i guess leave is still v hard to take as usual. I have to book my leave 2-3 months ago, and he can still complain.

Last year for my wedding, i take 2 days for my wedding photoshoot and he complain to my manager why let me take leave when my project is doing TOP, but I book my leave 2 months ago (and who knows the TOP is delayed for 2 mths so how am i to know it will delay).

For gynae checkup, my colleagues will take time off from their superior (even if they dun have any time-off to take) for checkup so they dun have to use their leave or MC. BUt i tink my boss being so stingy, he won't allow me to use time-off so most likely I have to use leave for my gynae checkup dunno if got enuff leave or not.. sob.

That explains why your colleage leaves. Pardon me for being boosting around, I do have two kids but I still have 2 consequtive promotion for last two years.

Although I had my second child last year, but my boss do understand me and his expectation towards a staff is his delivery of works. I can take as many days off, leave as I needed but I kept to my promises in term of delivery. In times of emergencies, he knows i can always be the one he can rely on, imagaine this, when there is a need, I can work 36 hours wihout sleep to get things out and resolved.(While here I must salute my wife to be a great support to me here!)

So what type of staff does a boss really want, somebody everyday sits in the office not doing anythings or a staff that delivers and stand out to fight a war when needed.

I choose the latter. To wins a man heart is not always by the books. He needed to be croach, understands, delegates in times. I do rememer the 6 Quotients, if you have the IQ but low EQ will not get you far as you could not handle matter with rationale. With added Adversity Quotience witll allow you the diversified in works and the reminding one shall excel your career. Have he ever gone for a management course?

[Cokelight 0]

He has probably gone for a few crash workshops organised by the company but i dun tink he has done any management course.

He belongs to the old thinking manager school. He even said the other team female colleagues take maternity leave is very shiok - can relax at home. I guess only when his daughter grows older and married, have kids then he will understand (he marry late so his daughter is still young).

But i guess besides complaining and giving trouble, he cannot do much becos our company is pro-family.

The problem is I am probably his first female staff who is going to have to take maternity leave and stuff like that. And i have to test his limits and fight for these entitlements i guess.

As for promotion, hopefully after more staff left the company, HR will give him pressure to promote more staff.

[TPY 0]

He has probably gone for a few crash workshops organised by the company but i dun tink he has done any management course.

He belongs to the old thinking manager school. He even said the other team female colleagues take maternity leave is very shiok - can relax at home. I guess only when his daughter grows older and married, have kids then he will understand (he marry late so his daughter is still young).

But i guess besides complaining and giving trouble, he cannot do much becos our company is pro-family.

The problem is I am probably his first female staff who is going to have to take maternity leave and stuff like that. And i have to test his limits and fight for these entitlements i guess.

As for promotion, hopefully after more staff left the company, HR will give him pressure to promote more staff.

Hmm old school of taught. But isn't sunzi, kongzi and the old arts of management of romance of 3 kindoms older then him?

But anyway, just like you mentioned the company's culture do support you and so, no worries, the old manager have to swim with the waves.

To maintaince a joyful mood during this period and enjoy the sweetness of being a mother. Take care. Be happy. Congrate to you.

[Cokelight 0]

Thank u, guess i have to struggle to "fight" for my rights then..

as for the informal time off which my other colleagues are getting, guess if he doesn't grant me I also cannot complain bec' it is not a stated company rule/privilege.

[TPY 0]

Thank u, guess i have to struggle to "fight" for my rights then..

as for the informal time off which my other colleagues are getting, guess if he doesn't grant me I also cannot complain bec' it is not a stated company rule/privilege.

Thanks cokelight, a very good example of org supports and indivdual don't.

Utimately it is my personal matters, I want to have children who can stop har? Company don't support, my HB will.