korea 0 Report post Posted July 17, 2007 paiseh paiseh :bow:sorry if i misled anyone herei'm a 'victim' in a sense, but a victim of hdbme and ex-bf had applied for the hdb flat coz it's like everybody doing itthen go and book flat, pay option fee and the blah blah blahi only realised when i received the letter to collect keyssat alone all night and realised that i dun want to get married 8|won't say courage lah, but i'd rather face it then regret then got to go through divorce, split matrimonial assets and really answer to everyone loh so i kinda fly my ex's kite and yes he did call me names and almost managed to convince all my friends to turn against me heng my friends are true friends so in the end they chose to believe me :bow:i'm the fickle-minded kind so not really suitable for marriage lahif get married maybe third or fourth marriage liao :bangwall: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteivory 0 Report post Posted July 17, 2007 applefreak, as long as you are happy with your present status as bf and gf, then good lor. Get married when you are truly ready. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
korea 0 Report post Posted July 17, 2007 applefreak, as long as you are happy with your present status as bf and gf, then good lor. Get married when you are truly ready. haiz. everything has its pros and cons lor. sianz. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 applefreak, as long as you are happy with your present status as bf and gf, then good lor. Get married when you are truly ready. yes yes, will only do so when i'm truly readyas it is, really enjoying myself :dancingqueen: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mousehunt 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 Side track a bit.http://mousehunt.spaces.live.com/blog/cns&...4!289.entry Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 hmm, this is the second time i've read this storyit's a little too prim and proper for my likingdo remember that alex married out of obligation, not loveso there is nothing to grow guess the best thing would be NOT marry out of obligationthis is very important Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mousehunt 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 There is a Chinese saying "舍情娶义“。 Means marrying out of justice or obligation. This may not be right but sometimes circumstances really make a person bo pian. "人在江湖身不由己”。。。。。。。。 :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 i subscribe to the belief that'it is not whether you can, but whether you want'seriously, all of us can but not all of us wante.g. buying a car. most of us can if we decide to survive on plain water and bread only. but how many of us would WANT to lead this kind of lifestyle for a car??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zacey 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 i also read that story more than once... personally i feel that watever decision you make, dun blame others or envt.. how you wanna live, its your choice.. yes.. BY CHOICE.. dun give excuses that you have no choice but to do this, do that... 人在江湖身不由己 do exists.. but not because you have no choice.. 'no choice' exist probably in third world countries.. but in Singapore?? think we are affected/ bothered with the society's judgement.. our frens and family's views... wat's supposedly to be 'right' and 'wrong'... and to be morally correct or adhere to society acceptable stds, we chose that route that may or may not be wat we want... my 2cents worth.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raincole 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 It takes courage to love too... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fteocs 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 Hi, just to share my 2 cents worth.Its immaterial, married or not married, its all in one's value and responsibility to keep the relationship going.I am married for 13 years to my first gf and guess what, my wife start seeing someone and though we have a girl, that doesn't make her change her mind. Though she finally felt sorry and apologise but that's when she was in her dying moments after 3 years of battle with cancer. I did not leave her as I felt a sense of responsibility to take care of her when she is very ill and also i wanted my girl to have a good impression of her mum despite that's not being the case but that's the adult problem.No matter what, it takes 2 to work and it also takes 2 to fail...its never a one-sided issue, but perhaps one party take that as an excuse to stray, that's the unacceptable part.I wonder at times if she wasn;t terribly sick would she had felt sorry or we may just end up in separate ways, though I didn;t wish for her to die, but i guess at this moment, its kind of good for the overall situation especially for my girl based on the fact that she will loose her mum inevitably.Hmm I may confuse you guys but hey at the end of the day marriage doesn;t ensure anything, its the love, value and responsibility that counts, with that the couple can work out most if not all problems. In my case I love my daughter very much and I am willing to suffer in silence for her and even stay "single" till I meet my maker. That's my choice, and I believe one has to be responsible for his/her choice and live up to it.Cheers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteivory 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 yes, everyone has a choice to chooose to love or not to love. It is easy to fall in love, but keeping love alive is not an easy task. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cheesecake 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 Hi FteocsThanks for sharing ur story & im abit saddened by it...It must have been reali hard on u to take care of both ur daughter & her & yet at the same time, burdened by the knowledge of her betrayal. Reali hope u stay strong for ur ger but also hope u wont reject potential partners...life goes on for u & everyone deserves happiness....yes, everyone has a choice to chooose to love or not to love. It is easy to fall in love, but keeping love alive is not an easy task.Hi Whiteivory, yep im back! keke...I tink marriage is real tough...quarrelled with my hubby pretty badly when we first started staying together...aiyoh, pretty hard to adjust. But lucky his tolerance level is v high else world war 3 will break out. So i feel dat if the love isnt there after living together for a few years, i can actually empathise with dat becos its hard to love when there is resentment & anger. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 think i've mentioned in another thread that love is very importantin fact all important to me coz if you love someone, everything is 'cute'e.g. the way he burbs loudly after dinner or digs his nose while drivingbut when you dun love that someone anymore, anything he does is irritating and a nuisance to you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
korea 0 Report post Posted July 18, 2007 yes, everyone has a choice to chooose to love or not to love. It is easy to fall in love, but keeping love alive is not an easy task.yup, agreed in red. it isn't an easy task to maintain a relationship. courtship, marriage and setting up a family etc are completely different lor. usually, during courtship days are so sweet. this morning, while i was waiting for my hb to fetch me and i saw a guy opened the car door for his gf. i was asking myself whether such scene can last forever a not. i doubt so lor. during early stage of a relationship, everything looks so sweet and good. haha. cheesecake welcome back..what happened to make u quarrel so bad? housework chores?i am actually very worried about staying together n not able to adjust to each other. dats y i keep putting off staying together until after our AD... staying together is different lor. most of the time sure got quarrel. we tried before. think i've mentioned in another thread that love is very importantin fact all important to me coz if you love someone, everything is 'cute'e.g. the way he burbs loudly after dinner or digs his nose while drivingbut when you dun love that someone anymore, anything he does is irritating and a nuisance to you hahaha. yup yup. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites