linggie 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Hi, to hear that we missed a neighbour like you.It seems like you are unable to accept his family i.e sister-in-law, his parents staying with you and therefore giving up the new home. Perhaps, you want to re-consider your relationship with you bf. As the issue will returns.Try talking to your bf the issue again.the issue is amplified because they listed his parents as occupiers as such they have to sell their house away to be honest, i would give it up, buy my own unit with my bf, a few yrs down the road, fetch the parents to stay when they r older etc. (hopefully the his sister will find a new hubby or decide to live alone) too much risk to be on stake, your relationship vs your new flat in however superb location...4 yrs later, kim tian will have balloting exercise also, my friend just went to pay for her en bloc unit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
green_tranquility 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Hi Green Tranquility,I empathise on your situation. In fact, it's not easy to stay with Parents-In-Law. Adding to your situation, you got another sis-in-law to increase your burden. Thou now you may be able to get along well with PIL, they will still expect you to act like a daughter-in-law after marriage. You know not only your household chores, probably all the house expenses will be under both of you, COS IT's YOUR HOUSE!You must prepare for it if you are going to stay with them. Based on your feeling and situation now, I would truly advise you to stay with your hubby alone first. You may not be able to cope with all of them. If you can't cope, you will be very stressful and end up no where. Your hubby and you can't shift to a new pl cos it's your home. And you can't possibly tell them to move out too by that time. So think carefully. Probably after a few yrs down the road, then you can consider bringing over his parents. Things may have change for his sis then.The parents MUST sell the house within 6months of us getting keys because BF applied for balloting with their names as Occupiers. He filled up form wrongly without reading the conditions. We have to let the parents shift in with us or they get a new house 2KM from our new house, otherwise HDB will void my application! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
green_tranquility 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Hi, !! to hear that we missed a neighbour like you.It seems like you are unable to accept his family i.e sister-in-law, his parents staying with you and therefore giving up the new home. As the issue will returns.Try talking to your hubby the issue again. You must have patience to handle this. I did. I'll share with you mine .... if you want listen...The other time when my BF asked his parents to move in and sell the house, his sis confronted me once I stepped into his house. She should talk to her brother, not me. She got very emotional and couldn't listen to what I said "Leave the decision to your parents...". When my BF pulled me into the bedroom, she rushed into the room and continued her confrontation. Scary man! Agree, issue will return.the issue is amplified because they listed his parents as occupiers as such they have to sell their house away to be honest, i would give it up, buy my own unit with my bf, a few yrs down the road, fetch the parents to stay when they r older etc. (hopefully the his sister will find a new hubby or decide to live alone) too much risk to be on stake, your relationship vs your new flat in however superb location...4 yrs later, kim tian will have balloting exercise also, my friend just went to pay for her en bloc unit.Agree, too much risks involved. Relationship is more important to me. I had made a decision and sms BF that I would want to stay alone with him and give up the house last night. Reasons: 1. I think it's not nice to 'rob' her sis of a proper home (she move to her sis's house) 2. I can see that my BF does not like to be middleman to make peace for my conflicts with his family members. He kept saying that I was thinking too much and should pity her sis and be more understanding towards her. I have a friend who fell out with her hubby for 5 years because of MIL problems. Thanks everyone for the advice. I'll be a busybody and keep popping by this thread. We'll terminate our application with HDB and apply for WIS ballotings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nemofc 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) Thanks everyone for the advice. I'll be a busybody and keep popping by this thread. We'll terminate our application with HDB and apply for WIS ballotings.Oops, sorry i missed the part that you put his parents as occupier. So you havnt sign the agreement for lease yet? HOpe not else 5% $$ gone.perhaps, you should wait for another round of BE i.e 10 Aug for central. BUT you must have your hubby to support you meaning to stay on your own (just two of you). Because, if your hubby not supporting you even his parents name is not added as occupier, he wants to get his parents to stay together, you have no choice too. You understand what i'm trying to say. All this have to be clear and best is that told his parents that you guys made an error to added them as occupier for the new home (jln Membina) and said that you guys intention is to stay on own. His parents will understand what you trying to say (And best is your hubby is the one to say and not you). If his sister said any, keep silent and leave it to your hubby. It happens to me, but finally Thank God that hubby finally supported me. btw, is there anyway that you talked to the hdb officer again. just tell them , it's an error to submit with his parents name in as occupier. maybe still have chance. Edited August 1, 2007 by nemofc Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jasch 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 His parents will understand what you trying to say (And best is your hubby is the one to say and not you). If his sister said any, keep silent and leave it to your hubby.I agree with wat nemofc say.. Tink its better to let your hubby do the talking.. if not they might mistaken as u dun want to say with them and things might not turn out nice.. u know some elder are more sensitive towards this kind of topic..The most imp thing now is to have a good talk with ur hubby.. take care and hope things will turn out fine Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xlan 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 btw, is there anyway that you talked to the hdb officer again. just tell them , it's an error to submit with his parents name in as occupier. maybe still have chance.ya.. can try to talk with hdb officer.. see wat best solution they can offer.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OnePostWonder 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 who are the happy ones getting their keys soon? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nemofc 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 who are the happy ones getting their keys soon? Not for me. YOU? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seafaith 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Dear all, Do u know have any idea to reno our kitchen? I went to the ID last weekend and found the kitchen is really too small and don't know how to pout my things. The ID said, we only have abt 5 cabinet doors for the kitchen length. U all hv any idea?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xlan 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Dear all, Do u know have any idea to reno our kitchen? I went to the ID last weekend and found the kitchen is really too small and don't know how to pout my things. The ID said, we only have abt 5 cabinet doors for the kitchen length. U all hv any idea??huh? small mah? i tot is almost as big as the bedroom 3 leh.. hahahaa.. or is it me too used to small house.. so anything a lil bigger to me is already BIG le.. .. 5 cabinet doors.. ok ma.. small meh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jj2 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 a length of 5 cabinets.... can nt imaging leh...... should be ok bah..... cuz nw adays family seldom cook tt's y the kitchen getting smaller lo... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
green_tranquility 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) BF always give in to me almost all the times. But this time round, he wanted to stick to the original plan and wanted me to stay with his parents and sis! He assured me that his top priority is me and he will always protect me. When I rejected his proposal citing some harmony reasons, he commented that I was unreasonable.Haha after seeing his reaction, I'm even more afraid to stay with his family. I can see that he's siding with his family now. Sigh now we are in a stalemate. !! I'm thinking of leaving him alone for a few days for us to cool down.I have to settle my BF side first before we call HDB up to cancel our application !! Edited August 1, 2007 by green_tranquility Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jj2 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 BF always give in to me almost all the times. But this time round, he wanted to stick to the original plan and wanted me to stay with his parents and sis! He assured me that his top priority is me and he will always protect me. When I rejected his proposal citing some harmony reasons, he commented that I was unreasonable.Haha after seeing his reaction, I'm even more afraid to stay with his family. I can see that he's siding with his family now. Sigh now we are in a stalemate. !! I'm thinking of leaving him alone for a few days for us to cool down.I have to settle my BF side first before we call HDB up to cancel our application !!Hiis me again... I think the main problem is his sis rite. Haiz... actually my bf also something like urs..... actually they are our middle person (also pity them lo) but when things happen they will rather keep quiet, however, I have to "fight" for myself instead of he siding me.Talk to him nicely n c how lo... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dorcas 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Hi Green Tranquility,Sorry that I've left out on your PIL as the occupiers. My mum once told me this 'No matter how good your PIL is, it will still be very difficult to stay tog'. I truly agreed after I've been thru it. I think you should also heard of one house cannot have 2 women, somemore yours are 3 women. I agreed with the rest too. Give up the unit for now and save the rest of your life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jasch 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2007 Dear all, Do u know have any idea to reno our kitchen? I went to the ID last weekend and found the kitchen is really too small and don't know how to pout my things. The ID said, we only have abt 5 cabinet doors for the kitchen length. U all hv any idea??ermm.. maybe you can consider a L-shape for ur kitchen cabinate? and if you want more storage space maybe u can look at both top and bottom cabinate lor .Hope this will help Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
