Any Of Yr Hubbies Work Very Late Every Day?

[Air 0]

Let me repeat myself. Everyone needs to work at your marriage to get your own fulfillment. Some of you have too much baggage and it's harmful to your relationships.

I think everyone has a different perspective and interpretation of what the 80-20% trust means...not being able to trust our other half 100% doesn't mean we carry an emotional baggage, for me, I've tried to whole-heartedly trust my fiance, but deep down inside, i couldn't be sure that he wouldn't betray me one day.

That said, I love my fiance and I agree with you that we need to work at our marriage to make things work. After all, it takes two hands to clap.

[cornetto 0]

people can change. no notice required. no harm retaining that 20% of trust. doesn't mean u dun love ur partner or that you will do anything wrong like cheating on him or anything.

[korea 0]

Same same for women lah!

This sounds like those very cute, quarrelling old couples that you sometimes see - both of them would complain and complain so much about each other, but when you stop them and ask, "How old long you both married?", the reply would be "30 years" and suddenly just *ding*, both of them kept quiet and start to smile slightly in embarassment, looking at each other...

So sweet! !!

hahahaha. ya lah, same for women lah.

sometimes, couples will complain so much about each other but their marriage surprisingly can still last very long. why huh? is it mouth itchy complain leh? !!

[karen77sg 0]

hahahaha. ya lah, same for women lah.

sometimes, couples will complain so much about each other but their marriage surprisingly can still last very long. why huh? !! is it mouth itchy complain leh? !!

Dun u notice when they complain, in another way they are being frank with each other?

Unlike mabbe those quiet quiet couples always keep to themselves and never speak

up got more plms...

I prefer the frank ones, tat is not happy, say on the spot, then forget it later...bt of

cos cannot make the same mistake again...

people can change. no notice required. no harm retaining that 20% of trust. doesn't mean u dun love ur partner or that you will do anything wrong like cheating on him or anything.

Hmm,.....do we mean retaining 20% trust or doubt? I tort trust 80%???

I am confused!

[zirhk3355 1]

Dun u notice when they complain, in another way they are being frank with each other?

Unlike mabbe those quiet quiet couples always keep to themselves and never speak

up got more plms...

I prefer the frank ones, tat is not happy, say on the spot, then forget it later...bt of

cos cannot make the same mistake again...

I value the "forget it later" part. I believe in order to maintain a long term relationship (or even in friendships), sometimes we just need to forget about it. No need to "da por sha guo wen dao di" (break the claypot and find out all details!!) lor, no need to find out who is right and who is wrong, etc just move on lor. And when I said move on its really move on, not like those quiet quiet couples just hide inside and never say.

Ok I am going to sound like bragging again, but I think the very reason why my wife and I got married is because we can do just that - like the saying goes, "Fu qi liang, chuang tou chao jia chuang wei he" (in a marriage, quarrels last only from the start of the bed to the end of the bed, meaning very short). Sometimes we can arguing until shouting and pushing each other, but the next morning either one will write a short note to say, "I l**e you, let's forget it, ok?" and we dare say that we truly forget it...

[korea 0]

Dun u notice when they complain, in another way they are being frank with each other?

Unlike mabbe those quiet quiet couples always keep to themselves and never speak

up got more plms...

I prefer the frank ones, tat is not happy, say on the spot, then forget it later...bt of

cos cannot make the same mistake again...

hubby is those type of person who will be very frank when he complains about me. he'll say me on the spot if he's unhappy about me.

[karen77sg 0]

I value the "forget it later" part. I believe in order to maintain a long term relationship (or even in friendships), sometimes we just need to forget about it. No need to "da por sha guo wen dao di" (break the claypot and find out all details!!) lor, no need to find out who is right and who is wrong, etc just move on lor. And when I said move on its really move on, not like those quiet quiet couples just hide inside and never say.

Ok I am going to sound like bragging again, but I think the very reason why my wife and I got married is because we can do just that - like the saying goes, "Fu qi liang, chuang tou chao jia chuang wei he" (in a marriage, quarrels last only from the start of the bed to the end of the bed, meaning very short). Sometimes we can arguing until shouting and pushing each other, but the next morning either one will write a short note to say, "I l**e you, let's forget it, ok?" and we dare say that we truly forget it...

Its good tat u dun hv overnight hatred, whereby u bury the hatchet the very next day.

Me and HB also like tat. But I dun like the pushing part leh....

Even though how angry, we should not lay a finger at the other party especially the

guys.....Guys whom beat their women up is no GOOD!

hubby is those type of person who will be very frank when he complains about me. he'll say me on the spot if he's unhappy about me.

Tat is good, tat means he is very frank with u....he dun keep to himself...

[zirhk3355 1]

Even though how angry, we should not lay a finger at the other party especially the

guys.....Guys whom beat their women up is no GOOD!

Sorry I must say that about the 'pushing' part earlier, it meant like things just got so heated up, when talking, the hands are waving and sometimes will tend to give a light push on the shoulder lor. Both my wife and me are the same, so we kinda felt that we are quits on this, of course must avoid doing it frequently lah, hehe.

I will never touch a woman, of course, whether my wife or not. Not that I wei-da lah, but the backlash of abusing women in Singapore (whether legally or by the society) is just too huge to bear...

[karen77sg 0]

Sorry I must say that about the 'pushing' part earlier, it meant like things just got so heated up, when talking, the hands are waving and sometimes will tend to give a light push on the shoulder lor. Both my wife and me are the same, so we kinda felt that we are quits on this, of course must avoid doing it frequently lah, hehe.

I will never touch a woman, of course, whether my wife or not. Not that I wei-da lah, but the backlash of abusing women in Singapore (whether legally or by the society) is just too huge to bear...

Haa....Glad tat u noe...

[korea 0]

Tat is good, tat means he is very frank with u....he dun keep to himself...

aiyo, he cannot keep to himself lah. he sure will say out FRANKLY.

[LinDa 0]

Really lor, what exactly is the benefit of 'trusting 80%' versus 'trusting 100%'? Nobody can tell me yet, asked three times liao...

its not a benefit per say lar..

its more like you don't trust totally by being more 'vigilant' to his activities - eyeballing account or credit card statements, viewing his handphone, packing his wallet etc lar.. not that we become some psycho and log into internet banking every 6 hours to see where he draw his money, or scrolling through his handphone to see what numbers he dailed/received and start calling these numbers to check whom they are or rampaging through his wallet but rather in a more 'concern' way occassionally..

rather than everyday, i happy happy surf net, watch tv, go shopping while he is having a rolling good time outside with someone else on the pretext of work??

and i emphasize again hor, its not the men themselves sometimes want to go outside do all this kind of funny funny activities hor, its some girls i don't trust throwing themselves at our hubbies can.. and if a fish is at a cat's mouth, you think the cat wun wan to just take a bite meh?!? hee..

Edited May 31, 2007 by LinDa

[karen77sg 0]

its not a benefit per say lar..

its more like you don't trust totally by being more 'vigilant' to his activities - eyeballing account or credit card statements, viewing his handphone, packing his wallet etc lar.. not that we become some psycho and log into internet banking every 6 hours to see where he draw his money, or scrolling through his handphone to see what numbers he dailed/received and start calling these numbers to check whom they are or rampaging through his wallet but rather in a more 'concern' way occassionally..

rather than everyday, i happy happy surf net, watch tv, go shopping while he is having a rolling good time outside with someone else on the pretext of work??

and i emphasize again hor, its not the men themselves sometimes want to go outside do all this kind of funny funny activities hor, its some girls i don't trust throwing themselves at our hubbies can.. and if a fish is at a cat's mouth, you think the cat wun wan to just take a bite meh?!? hee..

Wah....Linda....U say out exactly wat I am tinking.....

Great minds tink alike man....

[Air 0]

and i emphasize again hor, its not the men themselves sometimes want to go outside do all this kind of funny funny activities hor, its some girls i don't trust throwing themselves at our hubbies can.. and if a fish is at a cat's mouth, you think the cat wun wan to just take a bite meh?!? hee..

Super agree!!!!!

[karen77sg 0]

I tink it is fine with the 20% monitoring....

Quote an example, my HB recently keep on bugging me go shopping

with him for new shirts.....which he seldom does in the past...mabbe cos

he is in the uniformed grp last time...

Bt even though last time, when we hv a function or formal dinner to attend,

he will be so lazy to buy too....sometimes ask me to buy or being forced by

me to go 2gether...

Buying more new shirts though he already hv around 18 of them in the wardrobe?

Haa....Guess I need to monitor man....

[korea 0]

i also agree on 80% trust and 20% monitor. really have to monitor lor. must "smell" whether anything fishy is going on a not.