Any Of Yr Hubbies Work Very Late Every Day?

[karen77sg 0]

I also dun really trust men 100%, be it your hubby or boyfriend....

[Chunky Monkey 2]

Why won't you want to believe them/him?

That's the same question on my mind as well, ARCHer. Granted that there are men out there who cheat on their wives (they are poor empty souls and I pity them) but it certainly does not mean that every men working late is having an affair or fooling around with prostitutes. Sensing the level of mistrust here is actually rather sad for me. I am a middle aged woman who has given up her career to be a stay at home mum. My husband's typical day starts at 7 am and I do not see him most weekdays because by the time he gets home, it's almost 11pm. And we are talking about typical days here. Atypical days i.e. peak period, we are talking about him coming home at 2 am in the morning and having to scoot out of the house at 7 am as usual. Why does he work so late? 1) He is in senior management of a bank 2) He has to observe time differences in the US/UK and communicate with counterparts as well as clients in those regions 3) He is a perfectionist 4)He works very hard because he loves his family, and that includes me his wife of course.

Does he have time for an affair. No chance. Unless he wants to kiss his career goodbye.

I have young children to look after and I upkeep myself so I don't look like an Ah Soh.

He's been working such mad hours way before I married him. So there is nothing out of the ordinary. If your husbands work late, I suggest all of you be good wives and make home a pleasant place for your husbands to return to. The distrust is NOT good for your marriage and your happiness as a whole.

[karen77sg 0]

No doubt DISTRUST is not good for marriage but I ever come across some of my

friends whereby they are very easy with their hubbies and give them their 100%

trust and never keep tabs on their whereabouts cos they always believes their

hubbies are working very hard for the family and to give them a good life.

At the end of the day, some of their husbands still have an affair (even when their wife is pregnant)

and worst still, some even hv a 2nd family outside.

Sometimes is not dun wan to give 100% trust, bt there are really such cases

happening and sad to say is on the rise!

We too want our hubbies to come back to a comfortable home, but there is no

guarantee tat the one sleeping with u every nite doesn't tell lies. Can trust them,

but I dun tink is 100% lor. Sometimes it is good to give him a gentle reminder tat

he still hv a family.

Ever seen colleagues hving affair during office hours?? Haa, some may not

encounter before, but I really witness before....it is a sad case and till date the

wife is still unaware......BEST!

[zirhk3355 1]

I hv lotsa of friends....bt mostly is those whom like clubbing types...

And my HB dun like me to go these places without him....

So I am quite sian actually....

In this case both sides have to give in lor.

Try to talk/hint to your hubby that you can be bored at home and hope he can allow you to have a life too. But of course on your part, cannot every outing also clubbing lor; maybe once every two weeks should be ok. I am sure you also have friends organising dinner and drink kopi, right? If not, then you organise yourself!

That's what my wife did lor, and I appreciate it. She managed to find a life of her own, and when I not comfortable that she go clubbing so frequently, she changed and start to organise evening tea sessions and dinners with her friends instead.

[zirhk3355 1]

No doubt DISTRUST is not good for marriage but I ever come across some of my

friends whereby they are very easy with their hubbies and give them their 100%

trust and never keep tabs on their whereabouts cos they always believes their

hubbies are working very hard for the family and to give them a good life.

At the end of the day, some of their husbands still have an affair (even when their wife is pregnant)

and worst still, some even hv a 2nd family outside.

Sometimes is not dun wan to give 100% trust, bt there are really such cases

happening and sad to say is on the rise!

We too want our hubbies to come back to a comfortable home, but there is no

guarantee tat the one sleeping with u every nite doesn't tell lies. Can trust them,

but I dun tink is 100% lor. Sometimes it is good to give him a gentle reminder tat

he still hv a family.

Ever seen colleagues hving affair during office hours?? Haa, some may not

encounter before, but I really witness before....it is a sad case and till date the

wife is still unaware......BEST!

Speaking from a man's POV, I would think its really unfair that one does not trust one's husband just because she is hearing 'things' happening to her friends and whatever 'statistics' to show that such matters is on the rise.

Is the husband still coming home to sleep? Is the husband still giving money to the family, still caring for the family and still giving everyone a good life? If someone in the family is sick, does he come rushing back? And if all that are true and the wife still distrust him, how do you think the husband will feel?

Always remember that you married your husband, not those cheating husbands that you seen, and since you married him you must trust him fully. In the end if he does cheat on you, you can at least pat yourself on your back and say that you had done your best and it is his loss.

But if you did not trust your husband 100%, always calling him, make him give you 'situation report' every 3 hrs, restrict him from going out, etc - one day he so stressed up and go outside to have an affair, can you cannot touch your heart and say you did nothing wrong??

At tne end of the day, you can always choose the consequences. Touchwood, but when something goes wrong, do you want your husband to say, "Sorry, its my fault and I have fallen for other woman", or do you want him to shout at you, "You are a **** lousy wife! XXX is much better than you - let's divorce!"

I always believe that whatever fated to happen, will happen. But the difference is how you come out of it when it happens, as a winner or as a loser. Of course the best is nothing happens lah, but think again: If really nothing happens and you treat your husband like that, would you feel good??

Edited May 22, 2007 by zirhk3355

[therat 18]

my husband previous job need him to 24 hrs 7 days stand by..

couple of time.. in the midnight, middle of movie, visit his mother, dinner... client or boss page him , ask him to go down to support.

once I wake up and ask.. where are u going..

he told me.. I just come back.. I go out twice liao.. u don't know meh

later he change job to regular office hr... which he kenna pay cut due to the lost of 1K allowance..

[ahnah 0]

Tat is v sweet of u both lor....

Haiz....I really hope I can change my tinking and adjust to the changes....

Still trying v hard......

Really hope everything will works out fine!

Maybe you can try to pick up some new hobby like cooking, cake baking, Yoga lesson and make some new friends ?

Or do some spiritial reading like mediation which can help you change your mindset.

[zirhk3355 1]

Maybe you can try to pick up some new hobby like cooking, cake baking, Yoga lesson and make some new friends ?

Or do some spiritial reading like mediation which can help you change your mindset.

Learning fengshui would be a good option, won't it?

[Chunky Monkey 2]

zirhk3355, you have hit the nail on the head. I have a very good girlfriend, who's in her twilight years. (I get along better with women much older than me) She once told me that she's 100% devoted to her husband and had in the past told her husband that if he should have an affair, he owes it to her to explain to her what went wrong. And till this day, he remembers what she said, and appreciates every single thing my friend does for him. Be it big or small.

They are a model couple. And insists on having dinner with each other all weekdays and weekend. To have the serenity in each other's company over dinner time is a great tell tale sign if the marriage is still strong.

[sakae sushi 0]

is working late everyady the only way out to make a living? isn't life more than to just working?

got a few buddies migrated to states and aust and they love it. people there know what is work and what is life.

[LinDa 0]

Does he have time for an affair. No chance. Unless he wants to kiss his career goodbye.

I have young children to look after and I upkeep myself so I don't look like an Ah Soh.

He's been working such mad hours way before I married him. So there is nothing out of the ordinary. If your husbands work late, I suggest all of you be good wives and make home a pleasant place for your husbands to return to. The distrust is NOT good for your marriage and your happiness as a whole.

Personally, I'm from the banking industry, its actually quite scandalous.. We work hard but we play hard too.. Office affairs and office hours affairs are actually not uncommon.. You can be amaze how some of these mistresses whom I know still see the wife now and then during functions and so scarily good at acting..

Good that you still upkeep yrself.. I feel that is really impt..

Anyways, I feel if a man can do a good job of not letting his wife suspect a single thing at all and balance everything so perfectly, he cand o whatever he wants which I find there won't be such a man at all coz woman are sensitive creatures with our sixth sense and all.

Edited May 22, 2007 by LinDa

[korea 0]

is working late everyady the only way out to make a living? isn't life more than to just working?

got a few buddies migrated to states and aust and they love it. people there know what is work and what is life.

the life pace in australia is very slow. i heard people told me that even they don't work in australia and their government still provide them with $$$. is it true?

[LinDa 0]

the life pace in australia is very slow. i heard people told me that even they don't work in australia and their government still provide them with $$$. is it true?

i think places like australia, new zealand and us have such practices of unemployment benefit.. but its actually at the expense of those working as in those working pay very high taxes.. i hear my cousin whom migrated to new zealand says that she pay near 50% tax or something there.. but on top of the unemployment benefit, giving birth in new zealand is free lor!!

Edited May 22, 2007 by LinDa

[zirhk3355 1]

They are a model couple. And insists on having dinner with each other all weekdays and weekend. To have the serenity in each other's company over dinner time is a great tell tale sign if the marriage is still strong.

Sighz...if only wifey and me can do that. Meeting each other during weekdays is almost very infrequent, as we had learnt to lead independent lives. However, weekends is always shared with each other, whatever the occasion may be.

Thus, now also having a bit of struggle as my 'third wife' is becoming more possessive...golfing! That usually takes up half of a saturday and vainpot wifey can't stand the sun so she will never go with me...

is working late everyady the only way out to make a living? isn't life more than to just working?

got a few buddies migrated to states and aust and they love it. people there know what is work and what is life.

What Linda said above is correct - there is always a trade-off.

The grass is always greener on the other side lor; cannot compare. Most important is what you want; if you feel that lesser working hours is important, make sure you can also tahan the lesser efficiency of the country, higher taxation, more crimes, etc.

And as always, wherever you go, racism is always present, especially for us Asians. The so-called most 'democratic' country, US of the A, had also co-incidentally the highest number of racist incidents reported per capita.

[Chunky Monkey 2]

Personally, I'm from the banking industry, its actually quite scandalous.. We work hard but we play hard too.. Office affairs and office hours affairs are actually not uncommon.. You can be amaze how some of these mistresses whom I know still see the wife now and then during functions and so scarily good at acting..

Good that you still upkeep yrself.. I feel that is really impt..

Anyways, I feel if a man can do a good job of not letting his wife suspect a single thing at all and balance everything so perfectly, he cand o whatever he wants which I find there won't be such a man at all coz woman are sensitive creatures with our sixth sense and all.

Citibank? DBS?

Yes, I have heard of these stories, and adultery is committed amongst Relationship Managers and even with their bosses. But it takes a certain personality to lose their morals and commit them. It does not mean that when it happens to others, it will happen in your homeground.

My husband being away from home on a regular basis (work travels) is in fact more scared of I straying but I constantly reassure him (even though he does not expect me to) that his heart is safe with me. I will be a miserable wife if I have to keep a tab on my husband's whereabouts. It would also drive me nutty. The moment I have to reduce myself to being a sleuth, I know the relationship has gone to the toilet.