I Love Two Persons At The Same Time

[korea 0]

like you see children and toys loh

they dun want to play liao, but others also cannot play

how can human compare with toys.

[applefreak 1]

it's something like a complex

we all grow up with this possessive streak in us

some of us control it well, some don't

that's why some pple will rather kill their spouse/children when they commit suicide...

and some will kill their lover/spouse to prevent the person from leaving them

either way they will lose the person, but they'd rather kill the person so that no one else can have them

[kanegan 0]

This topic is very worrying.

2708soul,

I am a born sceptic so I read your posts with a pinch of salt. However, if you are sharing the real thing, I suggest you do something about this problem now. I suggest you seek some real help from marriage counsellors.

1. A appears to be very emotionally attached to you but you are not. How to be happy like that? You will have to live with this man for the rest of your life. If your life together turns out to be unbearable, ...well I can imagine the news headlines. The fact that he "wants" you despite knowing how you feel is very unsettling to me.

2. You have been and still are under emotional blackmail by A and the people around you. Please ask yourself this question. Are you really in love in B or is he really just a means of escape from A? Without A, would B still be so attractive? Without B, would life with A really be more bearable?

For your consideration.

Be safe and happy!

If a boulder blocks your path, try walking around it or turn around walk the other way.

[LinDa 0]

it's something like a complex

we all grow up with this possessive streak in us

some of us control it well, some don't

that's why some pple will rather kill their spouse/children when they commit suicide...

and some will kill their lover/spouse to prevent the person from leaving them

either way they will lose the person, but they'd rather kill the person so that no one else can have them

ya, i got this girlfriend, we all can tell her boyfriend-now-husband will rather kill her than kill himself than let her leave him one..

he brings her everywhere he goes, nv let her out of his sight other than for work..

sad thing is, he loves her till he hits her coz he cannot control his emotions when he is so angry with her but still love her and want her to listen to him o-n-l-y..

scary..

[applefreak 1]

this husband is very insecure loh

if he ever consult a psychiatrist sure will find out young time got problem one

most prob he is the middle child so no love from parents

[LinDa 0]

this husband is very insecure loh

if he ever consult a psychiatrist sure will find out young time got problem one

most prob he is the middle child so no love from parents

insecure maybe..

i know them very well.. young time got problem anot i don't know.. he is the eldest in the family with a younger brother.. parents divorce.. he had lots of love from his grandparents.. actually his father runs quite a big food business in singapore, u might have hear the food brand before one but big gambler.. i do not know how his parents divorce but i know his father has a china woman staying together now.. mother i don't know got new husband anot but they on ok terms.. i guess family kinda complicated la, coz i know he got this cousin is a butch, i even see her partner before coz we r close n i attend their gatherings.. then uncle looks gayish (single, dress very well, in designing line, stays in joo chiat condo and renovate till super nice)..

tat pretty sums up his family..

any insights if tats e cause??

Edited May 12, 2007 by LinDa

[applefreak 1]

i can't really tell coz i never study psychology

but read all those articles always imply that problems adults faced can be traced back to childhood

could be he had been traumatised by the parents' divorce but had no one to turn to

somemore elder boy sure grandparents say things like 'you are a boy, must be strong, cannot cry, must show good example to brother'

so keep everything inside

now that he is married, he wants to ensure that he will not end up like his parents

these are all my inferences so cannot be taken seriously hor

[applefreak 1]

i can't really tell coz i never study psychology

but read all those articles always imply that problems adults faced can be traced back to childhood

could be he had been traumatised by the parents' divorce but had no one to turn to

somemore elder boy sure grandparents say things like 'you are a boy, must be strong, cannot cry, must show good example to brother'

so keep everything inside

now that he is married, he wants to ensure that he will not end up like his parents

these are all my inferences so cannot be taken seriously hor

[LinDa 0]

i can't really tell coz i never study psychology

but read all those articles always imply that problems adults faced can be traced back to childhood

could be he had been traumatised by the parents' divorce but had no one to turn to

somemore elder boy sure grandparents say things like 'you are a boy, must be strong, cannot cry, must show good example to brother'

so keep everything inside

now that he is married, he wants to ensure that he will not end up like his parents

these are all my inferences so cannot be taken seriously hor

haha..

if i can change one thing about man, i think it will be for them not to hit woman..

regardless of reason..

those that do are not man lor, they are beasts..

Edited May 12, 2007 by LinDa

[applefreak 1]

honestly, the only advice i can give to woman who were battered is...

RUN!

run like you have never before and run for your life

coz sooner or later, the battering will get so bad that you'll be dead

[korea 0]

ya, i got this girlfriend, we all can tell her boyfriend-now-husband will rather kill her than kill himself than let her leave him one..

he brings her everywhere he goes, nv let her out of his sight other than for work..

sad thing is, he loves her till he hits her coz he cannot control his emotions when he is so angry with her but still love her and want her to listen to him o-n-l-y..

scary..

he loves her so much and yet bear to beat her??? this is called love meh? i don't think so. if he really loves her then he'll not beat her liao.

[LinDa 0]

he loves her so much and yet bear to beat her??? this is called love meh? i don't think so. if he really loves her then he'll not beat her liao.

its love to the siao stage liao.. i feel that he sees that he owns her and she is part of him and he wants her to listen to everything he says and when she don't do it, he tries to discipline her in a way not different from how i discipline my son i guess.. she cant run from him as he will track her down.. only way is to disappear and she would not want to give up her family..

having said all that, i believe they are happy 90% (with once-in-a-blue-mood physical fights) of the time, which i guess perhaps thats good enough as i think i'm only like happy 70% (only verbal fights) of the time lor!! haha..

Edited May 13, 2007 by LinDa

[applefreak 1]

its love to the siao stage liao.. i feel that he sees that he owns her and she is part of him and he wants her to listen to everything he says and when she don't do it, he tries to discipline her in a way not different from how i discipline my son i guess.. she cant run from him as he will track her down.. only way is to disappear and she would not want to give up her family..

having said all that, i believe they are happy 90% (with once-in-a-blue-mood physical fights) of the time, which i guess perhaps thats good enough as i think i'm only like happy 70% (only verbal fights) of the time lor!! haha..

there are so many shows about this kind of relationship

including julia roberts' sleeping with the enemy

it's a rather common phenomenon, just that pple involved usually try to hide it loh

[LinDa 0]

there are so many shows about this kind of relationship

including julia roberts' sleeping with the enemy

it's a rather common phenomenon, just that pple involved usually try to hide it loh

coz if someone close to them know abt it, this someone close (friends, family) will hate their partners and advise them to leave them etc, then they have more pressure lor.. who like their someone close to hate their partners?? so they would rather suffer in silence lor..

[Chunky Monkey 2]

2708soul, I didn't think I was going to post a reply to your thread but seeing your hurt and confusion, I decided to give you my 2 cents worth.

I speak as a parent. If my daughter is going through the plight that you're in, I will encourage her to break off her ROM. Every parent wants their children to be happily married and I have concern that you may not find it if you continue in this relatioship. And if you do continue with this relationship, I am sad to say this, but there is a high chance you will cheat on your husband, only because you have a side of you that you'd decided to turn a blind eye to, i.e. what you really want, and instead just to go through the flow. I do not have a personal experience such as yours, but I have counselled alot of friends in your similar situations. And sad to say, out of 5 cases, 4 cases divorced and remarried.