I Love Two Persons At The Same Time

[chew@PPLe 0]

I think guys and gals react differently, and even saying so, there'll be gals who act like guys (not talking abt lesbians) and guys who act like gals (not talking abt gays). But generally speaking, gals look for emotional connection, guys look for sexual attraction. I'm not saying that's all each party care about, but there is always a "priority". I would say physical attraction is part of sexual attraction, I mean, the guy has to be physically attracted to the gal first, before wanting to develop/ commit into a relationship. But that does not mean all gals must look like supermodel, because all guys have different likes/ dislikes. Not all guys want to bed the gals they date immediately because they then move on to the next criteria - emotional connection. These are guys who probably respect and uphold moral values like save sex for marriage. But to say that they never had the thought/urge would be ignorant of how their bodies/ hormones behave.

And I agree that love that we give is not unconditional. Because one of the most compelling reasons why we look for a partner is to give the person our love and to receive the person's love. I think that's what started this thread, the desire to be with someone who not only love you but you also love.

[TPY 0]

parent-child love is conditional. What is the condition? That it is reciprocative.

impossible for a human to love another who is no receiprocation. Will u still love a man if he soes not reciprocate the love, will a parent still love a child if the child is not reciprocative? Getting an A1 is too simplistic an example to brush it off, what is the child is not fillial, what if the child only seeks to want inheritance and not parents? will parental love still persist?

as for ur 2nd point, u r agreeing with me regarding romantic love being conditional.

So my point still stand -> human love is conditional.

my personal's view towards love. It is un-conditional and not selfish. It cannot be measured, calculative in $$ nor returns investment.

Speaking from a fatherly figure today I think my love for my boy and girl are un-conditional. I do not expect them to be reciprocative but they must be able to held their head high up and be honest to themselves. To be able to face their heart when they grown up.

As a son to my father, my father still loves and respect me as an adult although my time, contribution with him is gettng lesser due to my own family needs. In times I feel guilty not able to spend as much time as before , just like the single's days.

All forumner here today may not be a father or mother but definitely plays the role of son or daughter. So here, my questions "When is the last time you ever think from the perspective of your parents?" if you were to mentioned love is conditional, how would one that loves you feel towards it? It needed some soul searching, iterative thoughs before comments are posted.

Enjoy the moments when you can with your parent and loves one. Be not calculative and love them with 100% of you heart if might or allows.

[applefreak 1]

generalisation is dangerous

instead of using the word 'ALL', maybe we should stick to 'most of'

e.g. NOT all parents love their children unconditionally. look at india, so many parents sold their daughters into prostitution, is that love? in singapore, there are still mother-to-be who refused to go for HIV test so that their unborn can be saved, is that love?

similarly, not ALL men wants sex

i've read articles on couples who choose to celibrate for one reason or another

but there are also men who are interested in sex ONLY

so using the term 'most of' would be more appropriate in most cases

[Cantona7 0]

generalisation is dangerous

instead of using the word 'ALL', maybe we should stick to 'most of'

e.g. NOT all parents love their children unconditionally. look at india, so many parents sold their daughters into prostitution, is that love? in singapore, there are still mother-to-be who refused to go for HIV test so that their unborn can be saved, is that love?

similarly, not ALL men wants sex

i've read articles on couples who choose to celibrate for one reason or another

but there are also men who are interested in sex ONLY

so using the term 'most of' would be more appropriate in most cases

Totally agreed!

[TPY 0]

generalisation is dangerous

instead of using the word 'ALL', maybe we should stick to 'most of'

e.g. NOT all parents love their children unconditionally. look at india, so many parents sold their daughters into prostitution, is that love? in singapore, there are still mother-to-be who refused to go for HIV test so that their unborn can be saved, is that love?

similarly, not ALL men wants sex

i've read articles on couples who choose to celibrate for one reason or another

but there are also men who are interested in sex ONLY

so using the term 'most of' would be more appropriate in most cases

The generalisation is good when we would like to prevent any direct confrontation. e.g. if say "YOU" in a confrontation, then you are directly pointing at the party but say "WE" may be see as I understand from your point but not everything.

[Air 0]

generalisation is dangerous

instead of using the word 'ALL', maybe we should stick to 'most of'

e.g. NOT all parents love their children unconditionally. look at india, so many parents sold their daughters into prostitution, is that love? in singapore, there are still mother-to-be who refused to go for HIV test so that their unborn can be saved, is that love?

similarly, not ALL men wants sex

i've read articles on couples who choose to celibrate for one reason or another

but there are also men who are interested in sex ONLY

so using the term 'most of' would be more appropriate in most cases

Agree!!

[Wahyu 0]

Take a look at our parents, other parents. Until you can come to the fact that you are WILLING to be like them, you are not ready for marriage let alone the commitments that comes along with marriage.

Romantic getaways, swoop u over the feet with flashy *Insert whatever*..... will NOT, I repeat, will NOT be the same after marriage. Not the same doesn't means it's bad, it just transcend to other forms which most will take for granted and never appreciated.

Until you can face the reality that LOVE is not what is shown by the MEDIA and love novels, you shouldn't be even thinking about marriage.

Arguments and quarrels are a part of the spectrum. If you think it means a bad relationship, and make no attempt to resolve or turn things around, you are in self denial. Extreme cases are clear obvious signs that it's bad. Too rosy a relationship spells trouble coz you never know what is on the other side of the coin and when you do (YES U WILL), you might not be able to live with it.

When they say are you willing to spend the rest of you life with him/her, through thick and thin, in sickness, in health. It means...

R u ready to deal with all the floor mopping, clear the trash, catch that cockcroach, feed the dogs, wash the dishes, cook, pay the bills, fetch the kids, visit the parents, attend dinners, sleep through the snoring, do the laundry, TOO TIRED FOR SEX. These things will prolly never happen in a romantic relationship where it's all about having fun, laugh maybe sex and all the flashy stuff that the media, novels always feed us with.

We often take things for granted and overlook the "LOVE" that is always around us, seeking something that is right beneath our nose but blinded by our naive fetish for perfection.

[Cantona7 0]

Eveything is too late now.

[ene 1]

This is random but:

see, you all never heard of the subject right?

coz my batch is the last batch taking this subject for 'O' levels

Ha! I took Human Social Biology too! And I have a feeling we are of the same age (or at least close) applefreak

Anyway back to this thread. I didn't want to post or even look at the thread at first because it seemed like intruding into someone's life but I still came in and read it on a boring day at work ( )

it has been a long time since i log in here.

I read with amusement on how this tread has 'evolved' into. hahaha. interesting.

Thanks to those who send me PM.

I am good.

Before my AD, i told A that I don't love him anymore (risking the fact that he will kill me), will he still want to go through this with me?

His reply to me:" so what? alot of couples are like that anyway. You think i will let you go by saying that?"

so, we are married.

So far I have peaceful days.

Not working anymore as he don't allow me, worried i will meet up with others guys.

He packed my days with activities, and i try not to think too much.

His idiotic sister follow me day in day out, says she scare i am bored.

WTF, more like spying me.

Anyway, i cant be bothered about it now. Give me money i spend.

My parents are happy, everyone is happy, that's the best. As long as dont hit me, bother me, nag at me, just let me have my little world to myself at times, i will be grateful.

oh as for B, i never contact him anymore. Hope he will have all the good blessings.

It made me sad reading this, especially the part about him not letting you work and having his sister "watch" over you. Oh dear! That is indeed v v v tragic. You sound so resigned I guess ultimately, you have to make that decision if you are indeed in a good and healthy marriage. I believe many have probably asked already but how long can you go on without cracking up?

All the best girl.

[applefreak 1]

This is random but:

Ha! I took Human Social Biology too! And I have a feeling we are of the same age (or at least close) applefreak

kekeke so we are the same age huh

[yokine9a 1]

kekeke so we are the same age huh

Very curious leh apple jie jie, Human Social Biology was introduced in which year hah?

[virgo2829 0]

my year also......

[applefreak 1]

Very curious leh apple jie jie, Human Social Biology was introduced in which year hah?

actually hor, i have no idea leh

i only know my batch is the last batch taking 'o' level for this subject