I Love Two Persons At The Same Time

[Cantona7 0]

Hi 2708soul

U sound like been sentence to lifetime imprisonment at home no work, no internet (soon after find out u may chat with other guys online) and no friends. Is he trying to take revenge on u, cutting u out of the society and make u look like a walking zombie.

We only got one chance to live in these stupid world. Please made full use of it and live up to the most meaningful one.

Alway rem u can choose don let other ppls pull ur nose walking ard. (hee...hee.. my england veri poor) Since u had choose Mr A as ur husband but u shld also be independant.

Meanwhile please forget this Mr B who don even have the courage to fight for his love. !!

[applefreak 1]

eh Mr B got courage to fight for his love lah, just that he cannot bear to see 2708soul in so much pain

i've been through similar situation before, when my ex turned all my friends against me !!

but guess i'm lucky coz my family was still supportive

what's done cannot be undone

i believe 2708soul went through countless sleepless nights become coming to the current decision

someone once said - 'it's better to be with the one who loves you, than to be with the one you love'

true to a certain extent as 2708soul will never go through what the pregnant woman in the other thread is going through

[katvolution 0]

eh Mr B got courage to fight for his love lah, just that he cannot bear to see 2708soul in so much pain

i've been through similar situation before, when my ex turned all my friends against me !!

but guess i'm lucky coz my family was still supportive

what's done cannot be undone

i believe 2708soul went through countless sleepless nights become coming to the current decision

someone once said - 'it's better to be with the one who loves you, than to be with the one you love'

true to a certain extent as 2708soul will never go through what the pregnant woman in the other thread is going through

Whatever you said is true.. But how many people will be truly happy if they are not together if the person they love most? But again, since the choice is already made, 2708soul shd stand up and not let her hubby run her life.. She will only feel more miserable this way...

[Assassin 0]

it has been a long time since i log in here.

I read with amusement on how this tread has 'evolved' into. hahaha. interesting.

Thanks to those who send me PM.

I am good.

Before my AD, i told A that I don't love him anymore (risking the fact that he will kill me), will he still want to go through this with me?

His reply to me:" so what? alot of couples are like that anyway. You think i will let you go by saying that?"

so, we are married.

So far I have peaceful days.

Not working anymore as he don't allow me, worried i will meet up with others guys.

He packed my days with activities, and i try not to think too much.

His idiotic sister follow me day in day out, says she scare i am bored.

WTF, more like spying me.

Anyway, i cant be bothered about it now. Give me money i spend.

My parents are happy, everyone is happy, that's the best. As long as dont hit me, bother me, nag at me, just let me have my little world to myself at times, i will be grateful.

oh as for B, i never contact him anymore. Hope he will have all the good blessings.

Sounds like your hubby guy A prefers to possess you rather than really love you. I dont think your hubby guy A knows the meaning of love, especially when he replied " so what? alot of couples are like that anyway. You think i will let you go by saying that?" And his thinking is very naive to think that by not allowing to work you will not any chance of meeting other guys. If one wants to stray, even ****ting in the toilet also will stray. The fact that you dont love him anymore is consider straying. That is why I said he is more interested in possessing you physically and couldnt be bother about possessing you mentally, which is whether you love him or not. He does not know what is love and the real meaning of love. In his mind being possessive towards you and giving you everything is love.

There is no condition in love. Love is about trust, is about feeling happy for no reason, is about wanting to be with another person, is about letting go for his/her best interest, is about desir-ing each other, is about sharing happiness and sorrow, is about affectionate towards one another. It is not about what other people do, is not about controlling, possessing, money, sex.

I never advice people on relationship before because I know relationships are complicated and outsiders will not understand what is really going on and only the couple themselves can solve their own problems. But in your scenerio such relationship is the worse because it is as good as being dead. So for this 1st time I am advising you to either choose to learn to love him, make him understand the meaning of love, or to divorce him and liberate you soul once and for all.

someone once said - 'it's better to be with the one who loves you, than to be with the one you love'

Thats because these people are cowards. They are afraid to love and want to pr-empt themselves from getting hurt and feeling deep down into their heart.

[applefreak 1]

think i forget to add something in that sentence

between one who loves you but you don't love, and one who you love but doesn't love you, it's better to be with the one who loves you...

[shmj 0]

it has been a long time since i log in here.

I read with amusement on how this tread has 'evolved' into. hahaha. interesting.

Thanks to those who send me PM.

I am good.

Before my AD, i told A that I don't love him anymore (risking the fact that he will kill me), will he still want to go through this with me?

His reply to me:" so what? alot of couples are like that anyway. You think i will let you go by saying that?"

so, we are married.

So far I have peaceful days.

Not working anymore as he don't allow me, worried i will meet up with others guys.

He packed my days with activities, and i try not to think too much.

His idiotic sister follow me day in day out, says she scare i am bored.

WTF, more like spying me.

Anyway, i cant be bothered about it now. Give me money i spend.

My parents are happy, everyone is happy, that's the best. As long as dont hit me, bother me, nag at me, just let me have my little world to myself at times, i will be grateful.

oh as for B, i never contact him anymore. Hope he will have all the good blessings.

sigh.... I agree with some of the members here... its maciam life imprisonment sentence the way you put it.

I still hope you'll find happiness in your marriage soon since this is the path you've chosen.

[Cantona7 0]

Sounds like your hubby guy A prefers to possess you rather than really love you. I dont think your hubby guy A knows the meaning of love, especially when he replied " so what? alot of couples are like that anyway. You think i will let you go by saying that?" And his thinking is very naive to think that by not allowing to work you will not any chance of meeting other guys. If one wants to stray, even ****ting in the toilet also will stray. The fact that you dont love him anymore is consider straying. That is why I said he is more interested in possessing you physically and couldnt be bother about possessing you mentally, which is whether you love him or not. He does not know what is love and the real meaning of love. In his mind being possessive towards you and giving you everything is love.

There is no condition in love. Love is about trust, is about feeling happy for no reason, is about wanting to be with another person, is about letting go for his/her best interest, is about desir-ing each other, is about sharing happiness and sorrow, is about affectionate towards one another. It is not about what other people do, is not about controlling, possessing, money, sex.

Some how I got a feeling that Mr A is taking revenge on u, imagin b4 the marriage the wife said "Actually I dont Luve u", hw would a guy feel, he will definetly felt insult but he still wan u even physically.

So he cut u off from society paid u monthly allowance and make u stay at home, maybe take care his parent, bear his child and take care of the hse. Other than that u jus do ur duty as a hsewife and don ask any question whether he go out sleep with other woman as long every mth u take ur allowance and to him. The so call love is U can only depend on him and he is ur master.

Soon u will slowly cut off from the society and u only got him to depend on and ur whole life will only be control by him and he will slowly torture u making u feel miserable & guilty becos of that incident. He will used this stupid excuses to said all these happen to u today is becos of u. WTF

Hai I think I am abit too SIAO to imagine so much and I really don wan to see this happen to u cos after reading Mr A will hurt himself to get u I don really see any luv invloved. Who knw one day what he will do anything to u physically or mentally.

Jus rem that is no such thing that there is fate or that is the way i have to suffer in silent. U can CHOOSE and even w/o any support from family or friend u still hv to depend and stand firmly on urselves.

Life got only one time hope u really find ur happiness.

[Relacker 1]

There is no condition in love. Love is about trust, is about feeling happy for no reason, is about wanting to be with another person, is about letting go for his/her best interest, is about desir-ing each other, is about sharing happiness and sorrow, is about affectionate towards one another. It is not about what other people do, is not about controlling, possessing, money, sex.

unconditional love only God can give la. Human love is always conditional, think u have to get real a bit here.

just in case u do not know, to guys, practically the romantic love in greek is called Eros and always have to do with sex. So i disagree with ya. so love haa have to do with sex when it come to between a man and a woman. Sorry , me very down to earth so i speak earthly things.

To the TS, i can only say since u made a decision, just go along and enjoy the decision. no point keep thinking of what if this what if that , then u will never be happy! now seemed everything settled, got money to spend, got attention from the man, he come home sure want 'happy time', so u also happy with him, who know few months down the road, u become happy mummy with nice child, then u go inot the next pahse of your life and so on.

[Assassin 0]

unconditional love only God can give la. Human love is always conditional, think u have to get real a bit here.

just in case u do not know, to guys, practically the romantic love in greek is called Eros and always have to do with sex. So i disagree with ya. so love haa have to do with sex when it come to between a man and a woman. Sorry , me very down to earth so i speak earthly things.

To the TS, i can only say since u made a decision, just go along and enjoy the decision. no point keep thinking of what if this what if that , then u will never be happy! now seemed everything settled, got money to spend, got attention from the man, he come home sure want 'happy time', so u also happy with him, who know few months down the road, u become happy mummy with nice child, then u go inot the next pahse of your life and so on.

Ic. So the love of your mum and dad to you is also conditional too? That you must be a good boy good girl then they will love you? That you must score A1 then they love you?

You should be the one to get real. You should not sterotype all humans and claimed human love is always conditional.

Anyway I am talking about the meaning of love in my opinion. Of course not every human love another without condition, hence the situation of TS.

As for sex, of course it will always come between man and woman. But when one reach a certain level, sex is no longer the main point anymore.

[katvolution 0]

Ic. So the love of your mum and dad to you is also conditional too? That you must be a good boy good girl then they will love you? That you must score A1 then they love you?

You should be the one to get real. You should not sterotype all humans and claimed human love is always conditional.

Anyway I am talking about the meaning of love in my opinion. Of course not every human love another without condition, hence the situation of TS.

As for sex, of course it will always come between man and woman. But when one reach a certain level, sex is no longer the main point anymore.

I do agree with Assassin on what he said. It's quite true leh.. For my boy and me, a heart-to-heart talk before bedtime can be more satisfying than doing the deed. The communication somehow, becomes the main point in this case..

[Relacker 1]

Ic. So the love of your mum and dad to you is also conditional too? That you must be a good boy good girl then they will love you? That you must score A1 then they love you?

You should be the one to get real. You should not sterotype all humans and claimed human love is always conditional.

Anyway I am talking about the meaning of love in my opinion. Of course not every human love another without condition, hence the situation of TS.

As for sex, of course it will always come between man and woman. But when one reach a certain level, sex is no longer the main point anymore.

parent-child love is conditional. What is the condition? That it is reciprocative.

impossible for a human to love another who is no receiprocation. Will u still love a man if he soes not reciprocate the love, will a parent still love a child if the child is not reciprocative? Getting an A1 is too simplistic an example to brush it off, what is the child is not fillial, what if the child only seeks to want inheritance and not parents? will parental love still persist?

as for ur 2nd point, u r agreeing with me regarding romantic love being conditional.

So my point still stand -> human love is conditional.

[katvolution 0]

parent-child love is conditional. What is the condition? That it is reciprocative.

impossible for a human to love another who is no receiprocation. Will u still love a man if he soes not reciprocate the love, will a parent still love a child if the child is not reciprocative? Getting an A1 is too simplistic an example to brush it off, what is the child is not fillial, what if the child only seeks to want inheritance and not parents? will parental love still persist?

as for ur 2nd point, u r agreeing with me regarding romantic love being conditional.

So my point still stand -> human love is conditional.

That is so untrue. I do know of living examples of children of being not fillial, and yet, the parents will still love them. To parents, their children are just like part of their lives and bodies. Do you chop away a part of your flesh if it is not perfect? You won't right?

IMHO, no matter what, all parents will love their children. I don't think many people give birth for the sake of hoping their children will reciprocate their love.

I used to be so rebellious back then. My mum told me this " No matter how bad or naughty you turned to, you will always be my daughter. The bond and love will never change."

I felt so unjust for all the parents out there after reading what you wrote above. !!

[Fifi 0]

So i disagree with ya. so love haa have to do with sex when it come to between a man and a woman.

i feel so sad for u when i read this

u mean ur spouse love u not for the person u are but for the sex u're able to give?

tis is soo superficial

so if unluckily anything happened and u're not able to have sex with ur spouse, there will be no love?

i will see that as using the person as a sex tool rather than love between a man and a woman.

That is so untrue. I do know of living examples of children of being not fillial, and yet, the parents will still love them. To parents, their children are just like part of their lives and bodies. Do you chop away a part of your flesh if it is not perfect? You won't right?

IMHO, no matter what, all parents will love their children. I don't think many people give birth for the sake of hoping their children will reciprocate their love.

I used to be so rebellious back then. My mum told me this " No matter how bad or naughty you turned to, you will always be my daughter. The bond and love will never change."

I felt so unjust for all the parents out there after reading what you wrote above. !!

i agree with Kat.

there is 1 living example within my family. and parents' love is unconditional. they do not expect their children to be able to take care of them when they're old. the only thing they hope for is that their children are able to live well, eat well and dress well.

whether parents' love is reciprocated anot, depend on how filial the child is. even if the child desert the parents, deep down in the parents' heart, they still wish him to be well. Isnt this called unconditional love?

Edited November 23, 2007 by Fifi

[Relacker 1]

parent-child love is conditional. What is the condition? That it is reciprocative.

impossible for a human to love another who is no receiprocation. Will u still love a man if he soes not reciprocate the love, will a parent still love a child if the child is not reciprocative? Getting an A1 is too simplistic an example to brush it off, what is the child is not fillial, what if the child only seeks to want inheritance and not parents? will parental love still persist?

as for ur 2nd point, u r agreeing with me regarding romantic love being conditional.

So my point still stand -> human love is conditional.

That is so untrue. I do know of living examples of children of being not fillial, and yet, the parents will still love them. To parents, their children are just like part of their lives and bodies. Do you chop away a part of your flesh if it is not perfect? You won't right?

IMHO, no matter what, all parents will love their children. I don't think many people give birth for the sake of hoping their children will reciprocate their love.

I used to be so rebellious back then. My mum told me this " No matter how bad or naughty you turned to, you will always be my daughter. The bond and love will never change."

I felt so unjust for all the parents out there after reading what you wrote above.

seems like u selectively quote me when u answer my post. Think we here to exchange ideas, if u dun agree with me, we can agree to disagree amicably. Why resort to stirring up negative sentiments towards me?

i said will a parent still love the child when he/she plot to have the inheritance rather than the parents? True not many ppl give birth so that child reciprocate their love at first but when the child si grown up, honestly the parents will seek reciprocation in love and affection, imagine a child who does not call u 'mum' and 'dad' when u come home? Regarding the examples of your mum, anyone can pluck examples out of thin air.

i feel so sad for u when i read this

u mean ur spouse love u not for the person u are but for the sex u're able to give?tis is soo superficial

so if unluckily anything happened and u're not able to have sex with ur spouse, there will be no love?

i will see that as using the person as a sex tool rather than love between a man and a woman.

i agree with Kat.

there is 1 living example within my family. and parents' love is unconditional. they do not expect their children to be able to take care of them when they're old. the only thing they hope for is that their children are able to live well, eat well and dress well.

whether parents' love is reciprocated anot, depend on how filial the child is. even if the child desert the parents, deep down in the parents' heart, they still wish him to be well. Isnt this called unconditional love?

think you r misunderstanding my post. I am saying the romantic love between man and woman has to have the sexual element, why? cos that's the way we are wired up. Which is why there is difference in parental love, friendship love and romantic love. friendship love and parental has no sexual elements but romantic love has.

Notice i did not say spouse love for sake of me able to give sex.

Guys get interested in a gal because he is sexually attracted to a gal, that's the initial spark for the courtship as time progress , if the gal suffer mishap in her looks, other factors play apart becuase he has been with her long enough , intimacy, friendship, trust comes into play. But the initial spark is always sexual attraction.

this is natural and the ladies like it also when men is attracted to their looks besides their inner beauty, i mean a gal will not be very happy also if the bf say i love u cos of ur inner beauty only, you external beauty holds no attraction. So here lies the point i want to make that Romantic love has to have the sexual element. So far i have not encountered couples in romantic love who never engage in sexual intimacy.

This may seemed base idea to you but strip it down to bare essentials, it is like this, u just cannot separate romantic love and sexual intimacy away, it's like...it's like eating chendol without gula melaka, does not cut it.

I noe gals like the idea of romantic love apart from sex, cos it sounded base so it's no wonder the postings that disagree with me are from ladies. Well, will be good to hear from the guys too. Guys and ladies just think differently, celebrate the differences.

Edited November 26, 2007 by Relacker

[Air 0]

Guys get interested in a gal because he is sexually attracted to a gal, that's the initial spark for the courtship as time progress , if the gal suffer mishap in her looks, other factors play apart becuase he has been with her long enough , intimacy, friendship, trust comes into play. But the initial spark is always sexual attraction.

this is natural and the ladies like it also when men is attracted to their looks besides their inner beauty, i mean a gal will not be very happy also if the bf say i love u cos of ur inner beauty only, you external beauty holds no attraction. So here lies the point i want to make that Romantic love has to have the sexual element. So far i have not encountered couples in romantic love who never engage in sexual intimacy.

This may seemed base idea to you but strip it down to bare essentials, it is like this, u just cannot separate romantic love and sexual intimacy away, it's like...it's like eating chendol without gula melaka, does not cut it.

I noe gals like the idea of romantic love apart from sex, cos it sounded base so it's no wonder the postings that disagree with me are from ladies. Well, will be good to hear from the guys too. Guys and ladies just think differently, celebrate the differences.

Not every woman/man is attracted "sexually" to the opposite sex at first sight. I would prefer to use the word "physical attraction" if you are referring to looks. The intial spark is always physical attraction, not sexual attraction.

To use the word "sexually" would have sexual implications and that is so untrue cos not every man wants to bed a woman the moment he is attracted to her and vice versa.

I agree with you that we cannot separate romantic love and sexual intimacy but bear in mind that the first stage is always romantic love THEN the sexual element comes in. They don't always go hand in hand.

True that girls always seek romantic love but do you mean that man do not seek romantic love and are only interested in sex? I don't think so.

Of course men and woman belong to 2 distinct species that's why we have disagreements.

To generalise love and sex just doesn't sound very right.