Before And After Marriage

[korea 0]

like ensuring that we have enff to eat?? enff $$ to get our clothes, bags, shoes, make-ups

i guess ensuring us enough to eat is a man's main priority.

[ahnah 0]

That is normal for both of your experience...

When both party had grown up (mentally) to a stage of 开悟 by being reflecting their-self then realized he or her had been taken advantage and take for granted of the other party.

Then from that onwards, will start to cherish one another.

It might take a spilt second to realize that .. but it might take 30 years till dead sstill cannot achieve that .

So good luck to all of you.

Do seek conulstant if needed. Dun give up without trying.

Btw... use soft approach tackle hard hot temper.

以柔克刚， 以刚克柔。

[LinDa 0]

i guess ensuring us enough to eat is a man's main priority. !!

alamak, putting us before them (that includes yi=clothes, shi=food, zhu=stay, xing=transport) is a must lor..

we suffer once month (menses) for the almost whole of our life to have kids with their surname can!!

Cannot like that.... he doesn't show he loves U... but if U still love him... U can show lor....

Sometime men just show love in other ways...

i know, i guess he show his love in other ways lor like picking me up no matter where i am 99% of the time, respecting my family and er..er..er..

ya, just that..

Do seek conulstant if needed. Dun give up without trying.

Btw... use soft approach tackle hard hot temper.

以柔克刚， 以刚克柔。

wa, tai-chi lei!! dun play play..

haha..

no la, its not so serious until need mediation..

just my usual grumble that's all..

we don't have hard hot temper one..

our arguments are rather civilised le..

then the angry one will usually walk away to cool before continuing..

Edited May 7, 2007 by LinDa

[korea 0]

alamak, putting us before them (that includes yi=clothes, shi=food, zhu=stay, xing=transport) is a must lor..

we suffer once month (menses) for the almost whole of our life to have kids with their surname can!!

!! i love my hubby so i don't mind to have babies with him.

[LinDa 0]

!! i love my hubby so i don't mind to have babies with him.

haha, i also love my hubby lei..

but i hate my menese more..

coz maybe every month i come right, i hurt like crazy, i vomit like siao, i diahorrea like mad..

but babies are cute la but just wait till they grow up. babies are actually monsters in disguise!! haha..

oso, i think u madly in love la, wait till u marry 6 yrs like me, chase son ard the house turn auntie, see u still tink tat way anot!! muahahaha..

oh no, i think i'm very bad, scaring ppl in forum, newly-wed somemore..

Edited May 7, 2007 by LinDa

[rain 0]

another thing.. after marriage, hubby always raise his voice at me..

last time..dating.. everything is yes dear.. u decide dear..

haiz.. he just yelled at me when I asked him whether want to hire movers instead of shifting our barang ourselves

I feel that I can identify with you.

Last time everything also yes.

Now he's like 180-degree changed. So different I feel that I married a stranger.

If getting married means that my Romeo becomes a devil, then indeed, what's the point in getting married?

He loves to wash dirty linen in public - something I cannot stand. I've seen how my father shouted at my mother in public and I promised myself never to marry a man like that.

Now he often raises his voice at me in public. For someone so thin-skinned like me, I've been trained by my husband to also behave like a shrew. I started to shout or raise my voice in public whenever he shows signs of about to quarrel with me in public. Sometimes I feel sad thinking about what the marriage has turned me into.

One of these days, I'll find myself a nicer man and divorce him. !!

[korea 0]

haha, i also love my hubby lei..

but i hate my menese more..

coz maybe every month i come right, i hurt like crazy, i vomit like siao, i diahorrea like mad..

but babies are cute la but just wait till they grow up. babies are actually monsters in disguise!! haha..

oso, i think u madly in love la, wait till u marry 6 yrs like me, chase son ard the house turn auntie, see u still tink tat way anot!! muahahaha..

oh no, i think i'm very bad, scaring ppl in forum, newly-wed somemore..

i guess this is life lor. there's always a cycle.

I feel that I can identify with you.

Last time everything also yes.

Now he's like 180-degree changed. So different I feel that I married a stranger.

If getting married means that my Romeo becomes a devil, then indeed, what's the point in getting married?

He loves to wash dirty linen in public - something I cannot stand. I've seen how my father shouted at my mother in public and I promised myself never to marry a man like that.

Now he often raises his voice at me in public. For someone so thin-skinned like me, I've been trained by my husband to also behave like a shrew. I started to shout or raise my voice in public whenever he shows signs of about to quarrel with me in public. Sometimes I feel sad thinking about what the marriage has turned me into.

One of these days, I'll find myself a nicer man and divorce him.

ya, i also hate a man to shout at me in the public. so shameful. you really will divorce him b'cos of this matter?? maybe you can try to talk to him about this matter.

[LinDa 0]

One of these days, I'll find myself a nicer man and divorce him.

but why need to find nicer man?? i feel woman nowadays can live by themselves without man lor..

i mean if my hubby yells at me in public, i don't think i can accept lei..

ai ya, but come to think of it, i yell at my son sometimes in public too, sighs, time to re-evaluate my educate-son-strategy..

oopps, i digress, just divorce him if its extreme, don't need wait nicer man le, what if this nicer man nv come?? but u r not a shrew to yell back at him in public lor.. if he started it, he is the b**turd and u r the innocent.. that's wat i tink la.. how can u let him yell at u and nv fight back?? if u worried abt image, just stalk off.. my 2 cents la.. no experience (touch wood, choy choy choy) but i think that's what i will do.. hope i nv come to this stage..

[korea 0]

haiz. nice man? is there such a person existed? no human is perfect.

Edited May 7, 2007 by korea

[ahnah 0]

wa, tai-chi lei!! dun play play..

haha..

no la, its not so serious until need mediation..

just my usual grumble that's all..

we don't have hard hot temper one..

our arguments are rather civilised le..

then the angry one will usually walk away to cool before continuing..

I see .. just grumble only. . but if too often also not healthy.

If anything not happy, can talk it out with your hubby.

[krisietong 0]

I feel that I can identify with you.

Last time everything also yes.

Now he's like 180-degree changed. So different I feel that I married a stranger.

If getting married means that my Romeo becomes a devil, then indeed, what's the point in getting married?

He loves to wash dirty linen in public - something I cannot stand. I've seen how my father shouted at my mother in public and I promised myself never to marry a man like that.

Now he often raises his voice at me in public. For someone so thin-skinned like me, I've been trained by my husband to also behave like a shrew. I started to shout or raise my voice in public whenever he shows signs of about to quarrel with me in public. Sometimes I feel sad thinking about what the marriage has turned me into.

One of these days, I'll find myself a nicer man and divorce him.

sometimes I feel that way too.. but it seems to be a coward way to approach the problem

[rain 0]

You all don't know. I used to walk away, or rather, I tried to walk away when he raised his voice at me in public. You know what he did? He tagged along and continue to raise his voice and kept announcing loudly the wrongs I've done him and how I shouldn't do this and that. I realised that if I don't shout at him back, he'll continue to do it. So nowadays, I just scream at him in public whenever he's about to raise his voice at me.

When I asked him why he doesn't allow me, or the both of us, to cool off, he said he doesn't believe in cooling off. He said everything must settle on the spot. I told him it's not possible to talk and think properly in the heat of the moment but he still maintained that everything must be talked out right there and then. Isn't that exasperating?

Why must I find a nicer man before I divorce him - Bcos if there isn't a nicer man, I think I might not be able to leave him at all. I've tried to live without men for some years. It's really not easy. After a while, it gets really lonely. Nobody to take you to the movies, nobody to buy food for you when you eat out, nobody to share your joy and sorrow with, nobody to go to KK hospital with you when your kid's temperature maintains at 40 degree celcius. It's really very distressing and ... lonely la.

[LinDa 0]

I see .. just grumble only. . but if too often also not healthy.

If anything not happy, can talk it out with your hubby.

talk le lor, no change, then if i still talk some more, he says naggy, so i leave it le..

Edited May 8, 2007 by LinDa

[krisietong 0]

You all don't know. I used to walk away, or rather, I tried to walk away when he raised his voice at me in public. You know what he did? He tagged along and continue to raise his voice and kept announcing loudly the wrongs I've done him and how I shouldn't do this and that. I realised that if I don't shout at him back, he'll continue to do it. So nowadays, I just scream at him in public whenever he's about to raise his voice at me.

When I asked him why he doesn't allow me, or the both of us, to cool off, he said he doesn't believe in cooling off. He said everything must settle on the spot. I told him it's not possible to talk and think properly in the heat of the moment but he still maintained that everything must be talked out right there and then. Isn't that exasperating?

Why must I find a nicer man before I divorce him - Bcos if there isn't a nicer man, I think I might not be able to leave him at all. I've tried to live without men for some years. It's really not easy. After a while, it gets really lonely. Nobody to take you to the movies, nobody to buy food for you when you eat out, nobody to share your joy and sorrow with, nobody to go to KK hospital with you when your kid's temperature maintains at 40 degree celcius. It's really very distressing and ... lonely la.

haha.. your description of your hubby sounds like my hubby too.. but we always quarrel in the car..

my way of solving differences is to walk away and cool off first before we talk again.. but my hubby's stand is to settle everything on the spot.. bcos of this, we have been screaming at each other when we quarrel.. I had even walked out of his car a few times.. I would walk and walk and walk then he would tag along and try to get me back into the car. The only thing that I cannot stand him is that he always say out the long list of the things that I've done wrong and caused him to feel not appreciated.. blah blah blah.. really cannot tahan one.. esp when I keep on thinking that its not even related to the situation that we are arguing about!

actually most of the times, he got angry over some words that I had said.. but those words were not said deliberately to hurt or irritate him.. but he reacted very strongly to what I had said.. den my stand was its not right of him to shout at me when he distorted the meaning of my words!! we're still working on this.. but luckily all is well recently..

Edited May 9, 2007 by krisietong

[cornetto 0]

You all don't know. I used to walk away, or rather, I tried to walk away when he raised his voice at me in public. You know what he did? He tagged along and continue to raise his voice and kept announcing loudly the wrongs I've done him and how I shouldn't do this and that. I realised that if I don't shout at him back, he'll continue to do it. So nowadays, I just scream at him in public whenever he's about to raise his voice at me.

When I asked him why he doesn't allow me, or the both of us, to cool off, he said he doesn't believe in cooling off. He said everything must settle on the spot. I told him it's not possible to talk and think properly in the heat of the moment but he still maintained that everything must be talked out right there and then. Isn't that exasperating?

Why must I find a nicer man before I divorce him - Bcos if there isn't a nicer man, I think I might not be able to leave him at all. I've tried to live without men for some years. It's really not easy. After a while, it gets really lonely. Nobody to take you to the movies, nobody to buy food for you when you eat out, nobody to share your joy and sorrow with, nobody to go to KK hospital with you when your kid's temperature maintains at 40 degree celcius. It's really very distressing and ... lonely la.

whenever he raises his voice at u, give him a hug & a kiss. chances of patching up are usually high.