Now I Know Who Is My Gui Ren And Definition Of Smooth Sailing In My Life

[kalimantan 6]

Everyone talks about who is my gui ren, or how to make your life plain-smooth sailing. I realised it can happen on this occasion which i experienced.

As usual, i went to temple to pray, and ask for Gui Ren or smooth sailing in my life.

Then i go buy duck rice for my family dinner and realised that the bus stop is 10 minutes walk. From the stall, i take my own sweet time to walk to bus stop (thinking and worry about missing the bus) That bus stop only have ONE bus number to my place (come every 15 min). Wah very smooth -sailing when i reach the bus stop, the bus comes JUST IN TIME for me to board.

The bus will do a loop to my place which is quite a distance. So i alight and need to take another bus. Wah again, the next bus just comes behind for me to hop in and again JUST IN TIME.

So many "just in time" and i reach home without waiting time on these buses ! Now i appreciate the smooth-sailing part for that moment. And i realised the gui ren is the bus driver who helps me along the way !

If you are managing subordinates, your subordinates are your gui ren as well. So appreciate them than scold them to get things done. If they leave , you have to recruit another gui ren to do the work for you. If your company stop recruitment, you are the one suffer !

So gui ren is not really meant to be some RICH person to boost you up, but more of solving daily problems for you.

[edenstrauss 3]

You have to be your own Gui Ren before you manage to find any genuine Gui Rens in your life.

About your story on the just-in-time, I'll like to chip in my side of story too. Eversince I tilted my gate, I didn't need to wait long (almost immediate) to hop on the bus that would bring me to my destination. In fact, sometimes, I didn't even need to wait.

And in instances in which we missed the bus, we'll always find it miraculous that another would follow just 2 - 3 minutes after! It was a pleasant surprise for us

So have you ventured out on your own as a self-employed now that u are talking about your Gui Rens in life?

Edited March 16, 2011 by edenstrauss

[eiffel76 1]

i thk gui ren needs to be someone that has more impact in one's life. yes, it could b boss who mentor u and willing to bring u up or even an able assistant who give u the support to claim your credit. i guess at the end of the day, gui ren has to be someone alot more significant in one's life.

like a fren of mine really met his gui ren. he was ex-army regular, started n failed 2 biz and on the verge of unable to pay bills, his gui ren appeared. offered him a job to look aft his biz, mentor him, upgrade him, expose him to higher level society. 3+yrs later, this gui ren gave him a business and a car - a bmw. im very happy for him.

[Guest jannypan]

You have to be your own Gui Ren before you manage to find any genuine Gui Rens in your life.

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[kalimantan 6]

for average beings like me, i prefer to be appreciative of average gui ren surrounding me. I am happier that they resolve most of my daily problems.

@Eden,

Not yet self-employed leh. Have to give 3 months notice period ....how about u ? Sticking to same job or change job liao ? Wah, u lately very active in this forum :-)

[edenstrauss 3]

You have to be your own Gui Ren before you manage to find any genuine Gui Rens in your life.

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How has your links got to do with fengshui?

[bepgof 20]

You have to be a Gui Ren to others before you manage to find any genuine Gui Rens in your life.

You have to be your own Gui Ren before you manage to find any genuine Gui Rens in your life.

Edited March 16, 2011 by bepgof

[edenstrauss 3]

for average beings like me, i prefer to be appreciative of average gui ren surrounding me. I am happier that they resolve most of my daily problems.

@Eden,

Not yet self-employed leh. Have to give 3 months notice period ....how about u ? Sticking to same job or change job liao ? Wah, u lately very active in this forum :-)

I had always been very active in this forum, not just lately and I don't believe in job-hopping. Especially when I'm not from the IT industry like yourself where job-hopping is the way of life.

[edenstrauss 3]

You have to be a Gui Ren to others before you manage to find any genuine Gui Rens in your life.

I agree with you absolutely!

[bepgof 20]

Common saying: There is a greater blessing in giving than in getting.

Must give, give & give, cannot get, get & get. Get & no give makes an ugly man.

You have to be a Gui Ren to others before you manage to find any genuine Gui Rens in your life.

Edited March 17, 2011 by bepgof

[edenstrauss 3]

Yes, bepgof has raised a very salient point; very well-said!

There's a very commonly used cliche which says "有舍才有得". And this is definitely true to its belief.

[edenstrauss 3]

Oh yup before I forget, will like to add this...

If you read all about Stephen Covey's 7 habits of highly effective people, he believes that everyone of us have an emotional "bank" account.

In any mutual relationship, be it husband & wife or parent-child's, it's not recommended that withdrawals are made all the time e.g. scolding, quarrelling, saying mean things, being rude, etc. That's an equivalent to withdrawing from a party's emotional "bank" account. It'll reach a time where that "bank" account is drained.

By the time this happens, the person who has been giving in all the time, has no more to give to the other party whose always withdrawing. As a result, there is a risk that the Gui Ren has become non-existent or worse still, turn into an enemy!

So deposits into the emotional accounts of others are definitely more beneficial in securing Gui Rens (noble patrons in life).

But do make sure you deposit in the right account hor... otherwise, you'll be in for big big trouble too!

Edited March 18, 2011 by edenstrauss

[Chanel26 1]

So gui ren is not really meant to be some RICH person to boost you up, but more of solving daily problems for you.

I totally agree with this.

That is why we always give thanks to those who help in our lives daily!

[bepgof 20]

I have that book, I like his 10/90 rule:

- 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react…

- We really have NO control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in the traffic.

- We have NO control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How?... By your reaction.

- You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you. YOU can control how you react. Give u an example…

- You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee Onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened.

- You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your husband and you criticize him for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.

- You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus.

- Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 120km/hr in a 60km/hr speed limit zone.

- After arriving at the office 20 minute late, You realize you forgot your purse. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

- Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D”

Edited March 18, 2011 by bepgof

[edenstrauss 3]

Hi bepgof,

To sum up what u r saying about the 10/90 rule, there is very little control over one's environment becox of external influences. Hence, it will be wrongful to expect the external environment to change to accomodate to us.

But the sad thing is that there are many people, even when they reached old age, are still expecting changes to take place around them. *sigh*

So what Stephen Covey is telling his readers is that we will need to adjust our own mindset to widen our own circle of positive influence, instead of expecting the external forces to change (which is almost impossible).

A methodology which incidentally, coincides with those of the age-old philosophical teachings of Buddhism, telling us that we need to adjust our own mindsets accordingly as our minds are one of the most powerful tools that we humans have full empowerment over.

Although Covey himself is a Christian but I supposed that it doesn't matter which side this method falls under. Many people tried it out & it works wonders in promoting both inner peace & positive thinking if applied correctly.