The Best Journey Always Leads Us Home

[Ely1 0]

Ely maybe you could get RB to hang around your place. Since he's a huge ang-moh who does boxing the workers will feel less inclined to perv.

Jab, hook and uppercut if they so much glance your way

Oh, I do my own kickboxing - Turbo Jam and Jillian Michaels. I also used to carry a 6-batt Maglite in my car in Australia. No one messes with the 156cm lady! I'll just beat them with my tiny ineffectual fists!

- Ely

[May_dream1 14]

I know I can be forthcoming with you, like you are with me, so...

/slips on slinky 4" heels

It's actually a cultural thing in our society to "refute" compliments. This has been pretty much ingrained since I was a child. It's also "unlucky" if you praise a baby to be cute, as the older generation would think this would "curse" the kid to now become "ugly". You're supposed to say (to an adorable child, but directed to the parents/grandparents) "Oh my, how ugly! I hope she blossoms into a swan!"~ During the familial obligations of Chinese New Year, should a relative tell my parents "Oh, your daughter is pretty!", they would politely reply "Not at all! She's so ugly!". Naturally, this has rubbed off me some, and I'm bearing my soul here:- I don't have pictures taken when I was young, and when I asked my Mom where my baby pictures were (was trying to make a collage of all the kids for Mother's Day), she told me (with a straight face) I was too ugly as a child so they didn't take any pictures. When I cut my hair to a trendy bob after moving to Australia, she lamented that I had lost my ONE saving grace, because prior to the haircut, I could pass off as attractive if seen from the back view.

Not seeking any sympathy here, thank you very much. Just the hard truths on my admittedly "stupidly insecure" behaviour. I was seeing a therapist on building my self-esteem, which sometimes is paralysing, but I am aware how well my persona covers my inner defects, so people usually don't believe me and think that I'm either fishing for more compliments or putting on some fake display of false modesty. I'm working on it though, which is why I said I humbly and gratefully appreciated their compliments - I just didn't want their kind words to have a life of its own and growing into something that would make me feel more pressurised and conscious about.

It is definitely not meant to irritate people or make others feel worse about themselves. It's a lifelong struggle for me to accept compliments without cringing and hopefully, I'll get there some day. I hope this helps you understand me a little bit more

"Don't forget that I cannot see myself - that my role is limited to being the one who looks in the mirror." - Jacques Rigaut

/kicks off heels

- Ely

i know you have the same upbringing as me. when was complimented, always "no no". But you have grown up now, must have more confident in yourself lah. So many ppl compliment you, take it into your heart.... whenever the ugly head of low self-esteem raise its head, tell yourself, "you are worth it.... just like what my friends said".

that's what i always tell myself too... hehehe.... or else, i should be in lower self esteem than you. just compared yourself and me.

[May_dream1 14]

Um, also let me know if you're allergic/afraid of dogs/cats - I'll have them crated.

i am not afraid of dogs or cats. Just don't like them coming near to me.... so please keep them away...

[csingeu 0]

Everyone's invited! In fact, I already preemptively put both your names down on the guest list as Hafiizh is also in the east, and footprint is a regular

So far, the guest list is:

May Dream

Mae29

Kobelala

Marshy

Friends78

Patsy

Sleek

Caraval

Hafiizh

Footprint

RimBlock

Boyblunder

Csingeu

El LoCo

knownothing

CutieCat

Adidaem

Do let me know if I've missed anyone, and if you'd like to come - tentatively, it's Mid-June

Um, also let me know if you're allergic/afraid of dogs/cats - I'll have them crated.

<3

Ely

Hey Ely!

Thanks for the invitation! Would love to visit your place, though it's at the other end of S'pore, from my side...

btw, I think you look gorgeous too!!

better dun let my wife read this... LOL...

[Ely1 0]

Ely1, you are wealth of information when it comes to cats and online shopping!

I will definitely be tracking this thread closely

Thank you Seth

I volunteer with Cat Welfare Society as well as Action for Singapore Dogs here so know enough to help people with pets' problems. Also a huge fan of Cesar Milan ! Used to volunteer in Australia too with Dog Refuge Home and Cat Haven, and soon as some time frees up, I'm planning to get Maxey certified with Good Canine Citizenship so we can visit old folks homes, the mentally-challenged, cancer kids etc. More than happy to help anyone here too regarding their pets or problems with stray cats. I've now passed on the responsibility of taking care of about 30-50 community cats at Old Airport Rd since I'm moving, but have come forward to my MCST as their "cat person" (trapping, sterilising, returning, managing). Now I really need that action figure!!

There's a JR at my estate that is up for adoption. Are you interested?

- Ely

[Ely1 0]

hey Ely! nice meeting you on Saturday you're really funny and it's certainly enjoyable talking to you

and just btw, you reminded me a lot of a primary school friend of mine. she loves cats too! (think she has some 7 or 8 cats in her apartment) if there's ever a chance that both of us are in HK, i must intro her to you~

Was great meeting my fellow Virgo RT-er Still can't get over how tiny and cute your shoes are ! Such a pixie, you! Yeah, I had a lot of fun chatting with you. Pity we didn't chat for as long as I'd like Next time k?

As for cat comment, pls see Action Figure above~

- Ely

[Ely1 0]

Nah, I will employ the help of a couple of gay body builders and have them stare at their asses, wolf whistle flirt and all with doors closed!

Nahh, all of you are so off the mark! What I really need is May Dream and her Deh Power! Everything done for free, and quickly and no nonsense!

- Ely

[Ely1 0]

i know you have the same upbringing as me. when was complimented, always "no no". But you have grown up now, must have more confident in yourself lah. So many ppl compliment you, take it into your heart.... whenever the ugly head of low self-esteem raise its head, tell yourself, "you are worth it.... just like what my friends said".

that's what i always tell myself too... hehehe.... or else, i should be in lower self esteem than you. just compared yourself and me.

Thank you May I'm trying - slowly but surely I think another hindrance is that I'm also worried that I might become vain or conceited. >< I hate that. I love ancient, unreal qualities like heroism, passion, honesty, humility - and these are so fast vanishing from the world.

- Ely

[Ely1 0]

Hey Ely!

Thanks for the invitation! Would love to visit your place, though it's at the other end of S'pore, from my side...

btw, I think you look gorgeous too!!

better dun let my wife read this... LOL...

Np, Csingeu, would love to really get to meet you and your gorgeous wife. Both of you were so quiet at May's place!

Thank you for the compliment - it comes as a surprise as we only met briefly

We can provide "shuttle service" from the MRT - just let us know in advance

- Ely

[Ely1 0]

i am not afraid of dogs or cats. Just don't like them coming near to me.... so please keep them away...

Bondi and Maxey will be sad at not being able to meet you, but I'll be sure to give some extra loving after

- Ely

[Ely1 0]

I will get my wife a laser pointer if she gets gawked at by perv at reno site.

Pretend to higlight some points to the foremen or hide at a corner and laser their eyes! No more than 3 secs mind you... I am not that vicious

After 4-5 times, cognitive conditioning should kick in - get "red eye" if they are naughty.

I have an electric dog collar...hmm...

- Ely

[adidaem 6]

Everyone's invited! In fact, I already preemptively put both your names down on the guest list as Hafiizh is also in the east, and footprint is a regular

So far, the guest list is:

May Dream

Mae29

Kobelala

Marshy

Friends78

Patsy

Sleek

Caraval

Hafiizh

Footprint

RimBlock

Boyblunder

Csingeu

El LoCo

knownothing

CutieCat

Adidaem

Do let me know if I've missed anyone, and if you'd like to come - tentatively, it's Mid-June

Um, also let me know if you're allergic/afraid of dogs/cats - I'll have them crated.

<3

Ely

Thanks Ely! Would love to see your place (and your amazing online buys!). Am pretty sure I'll be poisoned to buy something I never thought I'd needed after the visit.

Just to add, I think you are gorgeous too.

I'm not allergic, but I may jump or give an uncontrollable scream if your pets do something unexpected near me... residue bad reaction to a horrid childhood experience with a stray dog... I can usually control myself tho...

[May_dream1 14]

Nahh, all of you are so off the mark! What I really need is May Dream and her Deh Power! Everything done for free, and quickly and no nonsense!

- Ely

eh... my deh power not so "powderful" lah. if you deh, i am sure you will overtake me. hehehe....

oh.. forgot to say, don't pout or stomp your feet. that just show you are like a little girl. No men likes little girls (unless its their daughters)... they like women that are weak and depends on them. so stroke their ego instead and use that "tone" to melt their hearts.....

[May_dream1 14]

Thank you May I'm trying - slowly but surely I think another hindrance is that I'm also worried that I might become vain or conceited. >< I hate that. I love ancient, unreal qualities like heroism, passion, honesty, humility - and these are so fast vanishing from the world.

- Ely

no lah, i am sure you will never get vain or conceited. you have learnt humility since young.... pretty, gorgeous and humble! good combination!!!

[sleek 2]

hi crazy cat lady, thanks for the links to the cat heavens, really really tempting but i will hold off on the purchases till after we actually start renovations. much <3 for all the links and effort.

as for what RB & may has said, i totally agree - all of us asian women have been 'trained' from young to deflect compliments but we are all adults now and it is far more humble to just simply say thank you with a sincere smile then to strongly object especially when being paid compliments that are true. Like May, i dont simply pay lip service, if a person is fugly - i wont say anything at all re: looks. I know it's hard but hey we are all here :dancingqueen:you on your road to self confidence *steps off soapbox*

thanks again for the invite to your housewarming, if possible i will bring my zoo along; 2 small monkeys + 1 big one!