Cant Tolerant In Law Nagging

[EOS 450D 0]

Greeting Everyone,

just to share my point of view, will you able to tolerant your in law nagging?

i know my in law nagging have the goodwill / good intention for me, but is it necessary 4 out 5 dinner time she start to nag n nag ?

usually before she start nagging, she will ask how's your day @ work? how's my (In Law) cooking today? etc....... than the nagging starts..............

BTW me n my wife had been ROM for almost 2yrs (including staying n renovate period @ our resale 4Rm Flat), the nagging topic are "When you both having babies huh? When you both have the customary wedding huh? etc......"

finally my volcano erupt during dinner time, i quoted "stop your nagging, OK!!" then i walk away....

i know im disrespect to her but i just cant tolerant her nagging......

so bro & sis, kindly "shoot" / correct me if im worng, also kindly share some view if you all have the similiar scenario.

[therat 18]

the question is always the same

"When you both having babies huh?

When you both have the customary wedding huh?

when you will be going for the second babies

etc etc

For me, I just say oh oh oh then continue eating

nagging is better then always show you black face.

If you really cannot stand those repeated question, just tell your spouse to talk to their parent.

[chronograph 0]

U only put your wife in difficult spot.

[bepgof 20]

Greeting Everyone,

just to share my point of view, will you able to tolerant your in law nagging?

i know my in law nagging have the goodwill / good intention for me, but is it necessary 4 out 5 dinner time she start to nag n nag ?

usually before she start nagging, she will ask how's your day @ work? how's my (In Law) cooking today? etc....... than the nagging starts..............

BTW me n my wife had been ROM for almost 2yrs (including staying n renovate period @ our resale 4Rm Flat), the nagging topic are "When you both having babies huh? When you both have the customary wedding huh? etc......"

finally my volcano erupt during dinner time, i quoted "stop your nagging, OK!!" then i walk away....

i know im disrespect to her but i just cant tolerant her nagging......

so bro & sis, kindly "shoot" / correct me if im worng, also kindly share some view if you all have the similiar scenario.

Background: My mom-in-law( MIL) has been staying with us since day 1 we married in 1993. Before this, wife & in-law stayed in one-rm rental flat. MIL takes care of my 2 children since day1, now elder is 15 yr, second is 13 yr. We experienced through ups & downs, from 1rm rental to 5 rm then condo and now back to 5rm. MIL does the cooking all these years. Wife & myself can't cook. My parents passed away in 1984 & 1994 respectively. MIL "nags" also: Morning/dinner time music starts

Note the following comments:

- Basically nagging is a show of concerns, but expressed differently and may appearred to be ear-spooky & tension-pulling, think further:

- How many years can she live on this earth?

- What has she "done for you" all these years?

- Take the nagging as "music", try to appreciate it.

- She needs to talk to express feeling

- Always remember :talking is better than no talking

On the other hand,

- Always try making her feels happy, good mood, so less "nagging"

- MIL's knee started having problem: told my wife, quickly bring MIL for oversea tour as many as possible, before "too late".

- MIL initially refused gel inject to knee which costs $5K (to save money). I told her: "If health which money can buy and we have the money, let money settles it". She took my words.

Show those "little, little" concerns towards by asking how she feels today, bring her out for a meal/stroll, elder ppl especially need flash air & big open space to relax their tensions. A chinese proverb says literally sound like this: "Trees want still but wind non-stop, children wish to feed but parents no longer there".

Edited May 6, 2010 by bepgof

[EOS 450D 0]

If you really cannot stand those repeated question, just tell your spouse to talk to their parent.

U only put your wife in difficult spot.

I did tell my wife to do something about it, but after a while she start to nag again.......

[therat 18]

she just need someone to talk.

u and ur wife work during days.

Come back after work.

She stay @ home whole day, no one to talk until you and your wife come back from work.

May be introduce her to nearby RC for some senior active. Keep her accompany.

Or you prefer her to nag you like

today fish 1kg how much. last week how much

salt increase

rice increase

etc

I'm well train by my mother nagging.

So any nagging, I can 1 ear in , 1 ear out very fast one. Faster then express way.

[mowaxchua 0]

Background: My mom-in-law( MIL) has been staying with us since day 1 we married in 1993. Before this, wife & in-law stayed in one-rm rental flat. MIL takes care of my 2 children since day1, now elder is 15 yr, second is 13 yr. We experienced through ups & downs, from 1rm rental to 5 rm then condo and now back to 5rm. MIL does the cooking all these years. Wife & myself can't cook. My parents passed away in 1984 & 1994 respectively. MIL "nags" also: Morning/dinner time music starts

Note the following comments:

- Basically nagging is a show of concerns, but expressed differently and may appearred to be ear-spooky & tension-pulling, think further:

- How many years can she live on this earth?

- What has she "done for you" all these years?

- Take the nagging as "music", try to appreciate it.

- She needs to talk to express feeling

- Always remember :talking is better than no talking

On the other hand,

- Always try making her feels happy, good mood, so less "nagging"

- MIL's knee started having problem: told my wife, quickly bring MIL for oversea tour as many as possible, before "too late".

- MIL initially refused gel inject to knee which costs $5K (to save money). I told her: "If health which money can buy and we have the money, let money settles it". She took my words.

Show those "little, little" concerns towards by asking how she feels today, bring her out for a meal/stroll, elder ppl especially need flash air & big open space to relax their tensions. A chinese proverb says literally sound like this: "Trees want still but wind non-stop, children wish to feed but parents no longer there".

Well Say!!!!!!

[EOS 450D 0]

Let said i had a BAD Temper for "EXAMPLE", just CANT tolerant nagging.....

What are the available tactical method to deploy if you can think of???

kindly share some view on above example or maybe .....

For me, sad to said my volcano erupt already...............

[therat 18]

when I'm single, i can't stand my mother nag.

when she nag, i will either show funny face behind her back or say "only know how to nag" of coz also behind her back

Now, I'm become a mother, I understand how or why she nag so much

B'coz I'm doing the same thing to my child.

bepgof post are well say

Edited May 6, 2010 by therat

[chronograph 0]

Jia you yi LAO, lu you yi BAO

[wonderlee 1]

I can't stand nagging. Just received a call from my elder daughter's form teacher. She nag & nag & nag, non-stop. I've to stop her nagging (can't find her full-stop to her nagging sentences) She boils my blood, spoil my mood. So angry~ who started this, first is my daughter, second is my hubby - for requesting this teacher's help.. She don't wish to help & hence, call & nag at me.. phew~ super piss off now >_<

Lucky me, I don't have the chance to hear my mother-in-law's nagging. Cos she is in Ipoh

Yup, my mum nags.. But I will not response to her nagging, I will just walk away to avoid my temper been 'shoot up'...

I HATE NAGGING..

Edited May 7, 2010 by mstan_lee

[Amy Choon 1]

well. since you have done it, there's no way to take your words back. if you feel sorry about it, probably you should buy her a nice meal for mother's day and then tell her how you feel at the same time?

[bepgof 20]

Let said i had a BAD Temper for "EXAMPLE", just CANT tolerant nagging.....

What are the available tactical method to deploy if you can think of???

kindly share some view on above example or maybe .....

For me, sad to said my volcano erupt already...............

I've 9 bros & sisters, I positioned 2nd count from bottom. When my MIL/wife start the music, always reminded me of my late mother who always started from DO, then Ra, Mee, Fa, So...then down again and same cycles kept repeating. I understand how you feel, quite misery at times but say to yourself: "what to do!"Can imagine what I have been through all these the years.

Take this as a "challenge" to perfect your skill/kong fu to deal with such situation. I dared to say that yr MIL's style is very unlikely to be changed, you need to "change" to adapt the situation in order to get peace.

I truely experienced the chinese saying "Home peace everything prospers"

Edited May 7, 2010 by bepgof

[Pinklady 0]

EOS 450, me too. kena before this kinda thing. last time even worse, stayed at my MIL house when our house were under renovation, were having some problems and etc etc. so i'm basically under the mercy of my MIL. she nags when i get home late, she nags at my clothes, my too many pairs of shoes, nag at my dog being naughty etc etc etc. basically when i'm almost going to explore, i would call HER SON, who's my husband to nag back the same thing at him!

When my hubby buay tahan, he would talk to his mum. after a while, it will be okay. but then after sometime it starts again and again. sigh, what to do, just have to tolerate her lor. i would be angry, but wouldn't confront her, so everytime she nags, i would REN (tolerate) quietly, and complain to my hubby

[leechaorui 2]

Greeting Everyone,

just to share my point of view, will you able to tolerant your in law nagging?

i know my in law nagging have the goodwill / good intention for me, but is it necessary 4 out 5 dinner time she start to nag n nag ?

usually before she start nagging, she will ask how's your day @ work? how's my (In Law) cooking today? etc....... than the nagging starts..............

BTW me n my wife had been ROM for almost 2yrs (including staying n renovate period @ our resale 4Rm Flat), the nagging topic are "When you both having babies huh? When you both have the customary wedding huh? etc......"

finally my volcano erupt during dinner time, i quoted "stop your nagging, OK!!" then i walk away....

i know im disrespect to her but i just cant tolerant her nagging......

so bro & sis, kindly "shoot" / correct me if im worng, also kindly share some view if you all have the similiar scenario.

From your description, I feel that you have been rude to your MIL. If you are apologetic, get your wife to say some good words for you and then meet her personally to apologize. At the same time, tell her frankly that you understand her good intent (ie this is what you wrote) and share with her your weakness (ie you are an impatient man). This cause you to lose control of your temper and said all those offensive and rude stuff (ie what you described as your volcano eruption).

If you like your MIL, spend more time to understand her and what she wish for. Bepgof has some good suggestions such as taking her out for holiday, show her genuine care, etc.. Things will improve.

If you dislike your MIL, it may be better to keep the distance after you have apologized to her. Having closer proximity is a receipe for more disagreements and conflicts.

At the end, it all depends on your personality. Do you feel that making peace with MIL, being more tolerant about her and having joy seeking to understand your MIL's needs and concerns are more important or living life as you feel like it is more important?

Hope I have not been offensive in my views. Cheers!