How To Confront Neighbours Without Making Things Worse ?

[asoon88 0]

My neighbour is Taoist.

They pray and offer joss incense outside the common corridor regularly. I am not bothered too much because it is their religious practice. Despite having ash flying into my house at times and the occasion burnt smokey odour, I have learnt to bear with the pollution.

They staying in a large flat (EA) but they still hang their laundry outside their flat on the common corridor. I have no problems with that too. However, what I cannot understand and disgusted is that they like to hang panties and underwear facing in the direction of my main door !

When I was a boy, my mother used to nag and remind my sisters to wash their panties separately from the main laundry and hang it away from sight if possible. It is definitely a red card if the panty is hung on the bamboo pole above one's head. Even today, I tell my girls not to display their washed undies indiscriminately. However, my neighbour is doing completely opposite what I have known since young.

I have bump into my neighbour's wife a few times whilst she was hanging her laundry. How do you tell a female not to hang her undies facing my door direction ? Even my wife finds it awkward to tell her in the face for fear of making them think we are petty. I thought women should have known this from their own mothers with regards to their undies ?

Any female forumers want to advise me what I should do ?

[forgotten 1]

My neighbour is Taoist.

They pray and offer joss incense outside the common corridor regularly. I am not bothered too much because it is their religious practice. Despite having ash flying into my house at times and the occasion burnt smokey odour, I have learnt to bear with the pollution.

They staying in a large flat (EA) but they still hang their laundry outside their flat on the common corridor. I have no problems with that too. However, what I cannot understand and disgusted is that they like to hang panties and underwear facing in the direction of my main door !

When I was a boy, my mother used to nag and remind my sisters to wash their panties separately from the main laundry and hang it away from sight if possible. It is definitely a red card if the panty is hung on the bamboo pole above one's head. Even today, I tell my girls not to display their washed undies indiscriminately. However, my neighbour is doing completely opposite what I have known since young.

I have bump into my neighbour's wife a few times whilst she was hanging her laundry. How do you tell a female not to hang her undies facing my door direction ? Even my wife finds it awkward to tell her in the face for fear of making them think we are petty. I thought women should have known this from their own mothers with regards to their undies ?

Any female forumers want to advise me what I should do ?

Yes, it's definitely better to get your wife to talk to her about this sensitive topic.

Next time when I bump onto her hanging laundry, I would quickly grab my container to water my plants at the corridoor and start off with a small talk.

(Smile) "Weather is very hot recently, good for drying clothes right?"

"Haha but my plants seem to be dying from the heat"

(And other craps)

(When I see her begin to relax and chat happily, I will approach her with the topic.)

(Smile) "Erm I have something to discuss with you. My parents are very traditional and superstitious people. They are not comfortable when they see your undies facing my door direction. U know lah, old people are very sensitive about things like undies. They have been nagging to me about this issue. I already tried to convince them that it posts no harm but they still can't stop nagging. (Pause) I wonder if it's possible to hang the undies in another direction please?"

Edited March 12, 2010 by forgotten

[coldflamez 0]

Yes, it's definitely better to get your wife to talk to her about this sensitive topic.

Next time when I bump onto her hanging laundry, I would quickly grab my container to water my plants at the corridoor and start off with a small talk.

(Smile) "Weather is very hot recently, good for drying clothes right?"

"Haha but my plants seem to be dying from the heat"

(And other craps)

(When I see her begin to relax and chat happily, I will approach her with the topic.)

(Smile) "Erm I have something to discuss with you. My parents are very traditional and superstitious people. They are not comfortable when they see your undies facing my door direction. U know lah, old people are very sensitive about things like undies. They have been nagging to me about this issue. I already tried to convince them that it posts no harm but they still can't stop nagging. (Pause) I wonder if it's possible to hang the undies in another direction please?"

lol, nice one!

As they seem quite religious, think you could also approach from another angle, saying that it is bad fengsui for the undies to face your main door, they should be able to understand that ba...

But of cos, the danger is just that they will hang in another direction but you will still get to see them, haha....

[asoon88 0]

lol, nice one!

As they seem quite religious, think you could also approach from another angle, saying that it is bad fengsui for the undies to face your main door, they should be able to understand that ba...

But of cos, the danger is just that they will hang in another direction but you will still get to see them, haha....

Thanks coldflamex & forgotten for the comments !

We didn't bring this up directly with our neighbour becauses my sister-in-law also had this problem with her neighbour. She brought the matter up about bras & panties hanging along the common corridor facing her study room window. Guess what ? It erupted into a tit-for-tat incident that the town council had to intervene. I don't understand why women like to antagonise another over a simple problem. Yes, the neighbour can hang her undies inside the house but perferred to do so outside. My sis-in-law is the type that sees red easily when such things happen.

I guess, I will have to tell my neighbour tactfully one day.....I am thinking of using my aged mother when she visits me the next time ! Her tongue is sharp enough to probably cut the undies to shreds.

[forgotten 1]

Good luck! Hope this matter can be resolved amicably

Edited March 13, 2010 by forgotten

[chronograph 0]

Maybe they are taught differently.

I was taught the same way as you. However, I have no problem with them hanging it in the corridor or outside the house using the hanging pole. Which ever way it will be seen, the best way is to hang it in the house(kitchen or toilet) of course u must aviod walking under it.

They are not violating any rules. They hang it within their corridor boundary so it is difficult for TC/HDB to intervene. Be careful, if not handle probably it will turn ugly like some have mentioned.

[seesee 0]

Honestly I think what they did might not be morally agreeable BUT!

Is their personal preference to hang their laundry(which ever type) outside as long it doesn't obstruct the main corridor or stairwells.

They pray and offer joss incense outside the common corridor regularly. I am not bothered too much because it is their religious practice. Despite having ash flying into my house at times and the occasion burnt smokey odour, I have learnt to bear with the pollution. >> From the way you put it I think is not an everyday thing, so maybe you just take it lightly because you yourself might be doing something that is not agreeable in their point of view. Is call giving and taking. My neighbor does it too but I just respect their religion as long is not over bearing.

[asoon88 0]

Honestly I think what they did might not be morally agreeable BUT!

Is their personal preference to hang their laundry(which ever type) outside as long it doesn't obstruct the main corridor or stairwells.

They pray and offer joss incense outside the common corridor regularly. I am not bothered too much because it is their religious practice. Despite having ash flying into my house at times and the occasion burnt smokey odour, I have learnt to bear with the pollution. >> From the way you put it I think is not an everyday thing, so maybe you just take it lightly because you yourself might be doing something that is not agreeable in their point of view. Is call giving and taking. My neighbor does it too but I just respect their religion as long is not over bearing.

Well, burning of joss sticks is an everyday thing. Joss papers is for special occasions...once a month on average except during the seventh month.

The issue is, I am the one giving in to their "rude" panty hanging display every other day. I don't hang anything outside the corridor, burn anything or place used furniture outstide either. I am probably the perfect neighbour for those who like their common space empty.

However, early this morning, I snapped ! Two women were talkng under my block's void deck at 2.30am. They were loud enough to wake me up from my sleep. It is not the first them that they have talked at this hour. I put on my T-shirt, went downstairs and shouted at them, " Hey, what time is it already ? Both of you jolly well go somewhere else to talk before I call the police ! There are people sleeping upstairs !" Both of them apologetically mumbled "solly, solly". I don't know these two women and I cannot see their faces clearly as I did not wear my glasses. I dare do what I did because I don't know them. However, with my neighbour, I will take the advice some have offered me on this thread and raise the matter when the opportunity arise.

[samgalz 2]

Well, burning of joss sticks is an everyday thing. Joss papers is for special occasions...once a month on average except during the seventh month.

The issue is, I am the one giving in to their "rude" panty hanging display every other day. I don't hang anything outside the corridor, burn anything or place used furniture outstide either. I am probably the perfect neighbour for those who like their common space empty.

However, early this morning, I snapped ! Two women were talkng under my block's void deck at 2.30am. They were loud enough to wake me up from my sleep. It is not the first them that they have talked at this hour. I put on my T-shirt, went downstairs and shouted at them, " Hey, what time is it already ? Both of you jolly well go somewhere else to talk before I call the police ! There are people sleeping upstairs !" Both of them apologetically mumbled "solly, solly". I don't know these two women and I cannot see their faces clearly as I did not wear my glasses. I dare do what I did because I don't know them. However, with my neighbour, I will take the advice some have offered me on this thread and raise the matter when the opportunity arise.

yeah, not wise to peform the same act with neighbour...later volcano or WWIII will erupt!

[MywifeIsasuperwoman 0]

i will suggest best way is just to communicate peacefully to them,talk to them nicely in a very humble /respectful way,

i am sure they will understand.