How To Tell Friend To Move Out ?

[clockwork 0]

Hi all ,

I need advise. Our friend / tenant has been staying with us for over 2 yrs now. Things was fine at 1st , but got rather frustrating.

As me & my hubby share common friends with my tenant , there were many occasions where friends wld come over to my

place without my knowledge. Although all are welcome to come over , but my friend doesn't bother to even ask us 1st if we're fine with pple

coming over. I did state rules to him , like no visitors , esp GFs when we're not home. These past 2 years , he has brought home 4 diff GFs

to hangout @ my place or sleepover. His current GFs was nice & polite , so I didn't mind , but she got soooo comfortable , she doesn't even bother

to acknowledge me now when I'm home. It's like we're transperant. He's drinks all my Milo within days , forgets to switch off fan / lights.

And eats our food without asking permission. He was even late ( 7 mths ) in paying his rental which was only $300/mth.

Told me his pay is only $1.2K , which I don't belive. The nature of his job pays at least $100/day ! I found a notebook in his room , and there's a list of

things he wanna buy, like a designer bag for his GF , Tag Hauer watch , Tiffany & Co rings...all ex stuff but can't pay my rent !!

He uses my husband's laptop like nobody's business. And my maid wld wash his laundry and iron his clothes. Even when I told him that

my maid is not suppose to do all these things for him. $300 / mth is for the room only , not food and maid services. If he wants to , he needs to pay

an extra $30 ONLY , which I thought was reasonable.He wld send my maid to the shops to buy for him ciggs , newspaper, etc...

So now , my patience is running thin and I can't stand his GF attitude, likes she owns my hse ! How do I tell him to move out ?

Edited August 11, 2009 by clockwork

[yoongf 11]

Discuss with spouse.

Give him 1 week notice to quit, tell maid no more errands for him. Do not allow any of his visitors. If GF come, as her for rental in lieu.

After notice period, change the lock.

Take note, u allow his indiscretion, means u implicitly agree to sponsor his milo/maid services.

[red_devil 0]

hmm...

Strategy 1

1. My relatives from oversea is coming over to study and parent insist to stay with you. So he need to shift within X weeks.

2. Parents coming to stay with you for long term.

Strategy 2

1. lock the fridge with a number lock.

2. Paste a big piece of paper and state; these maggie mee and milo belongs to me. Please do not eat.

3. I presume he use your hubby laptop for Surfing purpose. Change the wireless password.

Strategy 3

1. One good day, pack all his barang barang and place in the living room and wait for him to come back...and tell him enough is enough....am sorry...u need to move.

[clockwork 0]

Discuss with spouse.

Give him 1 week notice to quit, tell maid no more errands for him. Do not allow any of his visitors. If GF come, as her for rental in lieu.

After notice period, change the lock.

Take note, u allow his indiscretion, means u implicitly agree to sponsor his milo/maid services.

Have told my maid to call me 1st whenever he wants her to run errans for him, so he will know that I'm aware thats he's using my maid.

As for eating our food, I'm ok if he wants to eat some, and have many times reminded him , if wanna eat some , it's ok, but don't finish

the whole thing. Leave some for others. But apparently , my words are forgotten. Haiz...

Edited August 11, 2009 by clockwork

[clockwork 0]

hmm...

Strategy 1

1. My relatives from oversea is coming over to study and parent insist to stay with you. So he need to shift within X weeks.

2. Parents coming to stay with you for long term.

Everyone knows I'm not close to my parents and relatives...sigh

Strategy 2

1. lock the fridge with a number lock. - Wah..too extreme ahh

2. Paste a big piece of paper and state; these maggie mee and milo belongs to me. Please do not eat. Did that before

3. I presume he use your hubby laptop for Surfing purpose. Change the wireless password. Hubby too forgiving...sigh, always say nevermind

Strategy 3

1. One good day, pack all his barang barang and place in the living room and wait for him to come back...and tell him enough is enough....am sorry...u need to move. Don't have enough courage to do that, seems so heartless

[red_devil 0]

oh dear......okie...another way is to draft him an email instead of face to face? Or write a letter and slot it under his room door?

[eniaroj 0]

Wah! This sounds like a sticky situation!!!!

Y not just tell him that u found a tenant thats pay higher rent? Like almost double?! If he wants to stay on, then match the new rent rate? And remember to sign a tenancy agreement with lease period (say 3 mths, 6 mths or 12 mths) so that u can reject renting him the room at the end of the tenancy period.

If not, then u have to politely tells him that u and ur hubby wants "er ren shi jie" and planning a family now and would appreciate that he moves out...

If not, then u have to lie with a straight face, that ur parents had decided to shift in with u on permanent basis even if the whole world knows that u are not close with them!

[chronograph 0]

You people are all so nice, if talking can work, TS won't be starting this. He is a ticking time bomb. You won't know one day Ah long will come paint your door with O$P$.

My way, very simple.

One fine day, pack all his stuffs and discard it outside, change lock and whatever so that he doesn't have access to the house. You can forget about the rent he owed, if he has the slightest intention to pay up he, u won't be chasing after him. Make a police report to force him to change address on his IC.

You friend has simply no respect for u and husband, so he doesn't deserved any in return.

Edited August 12, 2009 by chronograph

[alan26 2]

Actually Red devil is right. Strategy 1 might be able to work. If you are not close to your parent, try saying your IN-LAWS is coming to stay with you.

But for this strategy to work, u need to stage an act together with your parent or IN-LAWS and hubby.

Act Part 1 - Complain to your IN-LAWS/parents about this tenant of yours. Ask them to help you stage an act if needed.if your hubby not good at acting better don't get him involve.

Act Part 2 - Tell your tenant that your IN-LAWS is coming over to stay for a long term. Act like unwilling for them to move out. See script below.

(example name of your tenant: Ah Wei)

You: Ah wei, I have something to discuss with you.

Ah wei: What is it about?

You: Recently there have been a quarrel between my Mother-in-LAWS and my sister. They got so heated up in the argument that my MIL, wanted to

come over and stay. Hubby lor, being a good son reply them:"OK leh" End up they are coming in 1 week plus time.

I have no choice but have to ask you to look for other place to stay.

Ah wei:(predicted reply 1) Aiya, they quarrel for a while then things would be fine.

(predicted reply 2) So short period how do you expect us to find a place.

you: (solution for reply 1) I thought of that at first but this time they seems to be serious. they are already start to pack up clothes and stuff into their luggage.

(solution for reply 2) We have no choice also. Maximum we can hold them up is only 2 weeks time.(looks very agonise)

Ah wei: (predicted reply1) Don't worry so much lah, thing would work out one.(Then they would walk away)

you: Day by Day your IN-LAWS acting gotta comes in. (Bring some Empty luggage bags, purposely put it in the living room for them to see.)

Put it in your bedroom at night so that you won't let the cat out of the bag. So that your tenant won't dare to dilly dally in find a roof to stay.

[yoongf 11]

As for eating our food, I'm ok if he wants to eat some, ...

If u are still going to treat him as a fren, u might as well forget about chasing him out.

U have to make life difficult for him to "push" him out.

[yuyu123 0]

Just some thoughts. Think 2 years of these is very nice. and there should be a limit to it.

Think, being nice is mutual and not one-sided. Coz we are human beings.

Though how difficult it is to sound out, think this 'nice' things should stop.

May be a bit awkward, but it is for the benefit for the future.

Ask yourself, how long can you tolerate?

Just some pointers:

1. No providing of food and drinks anymore.

2. No usage of refrigerator. Ask him to buy is own.

3. No usage of bathroom.

4. No usage of maid.

[kellogs 0]

Do you have a tenancy agreement with him?

If not, i would give him 1 week notice and ask him to leave.

Just tell him, the room is going to be used for other stuffs like (distance relative coming to study, parents moving in and etc)

I hate those finished all the food without thinking of others ... furthermore he only paid miserable Sing$300/month ... that is ridiculious. He sounds like an adult baby and thinking he is living at his own parents house (parasite)

Edited August 12, 2009 by kellogs

[raincole 0]

Hi all ,

I need advise. Our friend / tenant has been staying with us for over 2 yrs now. Things was fine at 1st , but got rather frustrating.

As me & my hubby share common friends with my tenant , there were many occasions where friends wld come over to my

place without my knowledge. Although all are welcome to come over , but my friend doesn't bother to even ask us 1st if we're fine with pple

coming over. I did state rules to him , like no visitors , esp GFs when we're not home. These past 2 years , he has brought home 4 diff GFs

to hangout @ my place or sleepover. His current GFs was nice & polite , so I didn't mind , but she got soooo comfortable , she doesn't even bother

to acknowledge me now when I'm home. It's like we're transperant. He's drinks all my Milo within days , forgets to switch off fan / lights.

And eats our food without asking permission. He was even late ( 7 mths ) in paying his rental which was only $300/mth.

Told me his pay is only $1.2K , which I don't belive. The nature of his job pays at least $100/day ! I found a notebook in his room , and there's a list of

things he wanna buy, like a designer bag for his GF , Tag Hauer watch , Tiffany & Co rings...all ex stuff but can't pay my rent !!

He uses my husband's laptop like nobody's business. And my maid wld wash his laundry and iron his clothes. Even when I told him that

my maid is not suppose to do all these things for him. $300 / mth is for the room only , not food and maid services. If he wants to , he needs to pay

an extra $30 ONLY , which I thought was reasonable.He wld send my maid to the shops to buy for him ciggs , newspaper, etc...

So now , my patience is running thin and I can't stand his GF attitude, likes she owns my hse ! How do I tell him to move out ?

I have similar problem. No deposit, thus defaulted on payment before moving out.

She comes to look for job in S'pore (so consider FT). Somemore wanted to be PR and kena approved. This type of person also can be SPR.

My case is like this, our tenant was her ex.bf. Tenant moved to another country, so let his ex.gf continue to stay in the flat. GF bad habits shown. Never switch off lights (like when going for dinner, left lights on. Will go for hours, etc). Used kitchen to cook but didn't clean up (wipe stove, etc). Didn't clean up room or other places of the house. Used to have things missing in the house (like detergent getting lesser and lesser, missing drink, etc). Used my things and broke them. Brought friends over when we are at work (didn't let us know until caught them when I was absence from work).

So when I finally told her to move out, I am now living in peace. Somemore I'm only charging her below market rate and have to tolerate this kind of nonsense.

So the sooner you tell him to move out, the better u will feel instead of feeling frustrated everyday about him. Life is more than that.

Just tell him that "you needed the room by xxx (end Nov)." Remember you don't owe him an explanation what u needed the room for, you aren't accountable to him, instead he is accountable to you. And meanwhile try to get back your 7*mth payment from him.

[clockwork 0]

Thks you guys for all the advise.

I have just SMS him and told him he needs to move out coz we need to utilise the room. Thats it. He has untill Oct to find a new place.

Thought of giving him till Sep , but hubby say let him have enough time, So Oct it is.

He just replied " OK " , so now, I'm not bothered. It's out in the open , if he wants to bear grudges , so be it.

Friends come & go and I'm willing to let this one go.

Edited August 12, 2009 by clockwork

[Pinklady 0]

Thks you guys for all the advise.

I have just SMS him and told him he needs to move out coz we need to utilise the room. Thats it. He has untill Oct to find a new place.

Thought of giving him till Sep , but hubby say let him have enough time, So Oct it is.

He just replied " OK " , so now, I'm not bothered. It's out in the open , if he wants to bear grudges , so be it.

Friends come & go and I'm willing to let this one go.

yeah at least you have settled that matter for now. when close to him moving out, bear in mind that he/she may bear grudges. So be careful of anything in that room, and your food. lock it up, he may destroy or damage certain things on purpose