mist 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2009 (edited) i'm very very upset. my dad suffered a serious stroke some weeks back and although he is out of ICU, he is still in the general ward and cant be discharged yet. he has lost all movements in his limbs and is completly bedridden and feeding from a tube. cant even open his eyes or talk. we only know he is awake coz he nods/shakes his head in response to our questions. i get so depressed everyday when i visit my dad. it must be a torture not being able to move or see but still completely aware and able to think. especially worse for him as he used to be very active. i'm so angry and upset that this has happened. especially since i thought my dad can finally enjoy his retirement not too long ago and enjoy being a grandfather i cry everyday seeing him in this state that i htink i'm getting into a depression myself now that he's out of icu, doc has been asking us to make arrangements for taking care of him in the future. i'm not keen to send him to a nursing home as i'm afraid he might get depressed and lonely. my mum wont be able to take care of him at home alone. so i'm thinknig of hiring a maid or a nurse.. anyone knows if theres such a thing as a live in nurse? or can maids be trained to take care of bedridden patients. sigh.. long term cost is also a concern as my dad has no cpf/medisave/savings/insurance. my parents dont even own a house as we were quite poor in the past. now me and my bro are paying his hospital bills from our medisave. does any one has any experience with anyone who needs long term care . sigh. Edited January 4, 2009 by mist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rdnest 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2009 sorry to hear tt not good wif words but just hope u'd b strong as ur family will need it so much now. as for the cost of long term care, hv u enquire wif the hospital? heard tt they hv social help dept/organisation available. sometimes ppl just dun noe cos they never ask. hope it will open more option for u. take care. jia you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted January 4, 2009 so sorry to hear about your dad i can't imagine the anguish you must be feeling now my aunt had a stroke quite a few years back she was paralysed on one side of her body and could not even smile my cousins transferred her to the AMK hospital for long-term care there she was introduced to acupunture my aunt managed to fully recover from the stroke you might want to consider this as an option for your father it will be very costly to get a live-in nurse maids can be trained to take care of your father my distant uncle is being taken care by a maid now (he too suffered a stroke but refused any kind of treatment so he is bedridden ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livesimply 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2009 Hi mist, My heart goes out to you... you must be strong for both your parents and stay positive. I'm sure situation will become better day by day. If you dad can hear you, do encourage him also to stay strong and he will recover fast. He must have the will power to want to do whatever it takes to recover. I know all these is so sudden and difficult to accept and come to terms with reality and start to question all they why's. If you need someone to talk to, you can your district's service center. My suggestion to your challenges is call as many maid agency as possible to tell them your requirement, ie. nurse aid trained maid, so that they can source for the appropriate maid with the skill set. However, they could take quite a while in order to get one. For short term solution, you can try call the nurse agency and might be able to help you out and even get a live-in nurse. www.SingaporeHomeNursing.com 10 Anson Road #26-04 International Plaza Singapore 079903 Tel : 9757 9135 Operating Hours : Mon to Fri : 8am to 9pm Sat : 8am to 5pm Sun : Closed Call Amy Now! @ (65) 9757-9135 Sue Private Nurses Agency (http://www.suenurses.com/) Tel: 7321555 Hand Phone : 96370741 Email : spna@suenurses.com MENA tel no: 67363120, 67364259, 67364195 Now-Nurses On Wheels Pte Ltd Tel:6336 0428 Bendemeer Nurses Agency Tel: 6776 0787 Sister Choy Health Services Tel: 6338 8811 Cecilia Healthcare & Nursing Services Pte Ltd Tel: 6532 3466 Christina Health & Nursing Services Tel: 6242 4715 Care Provider Healthcare Services Tel: 6238 1852 If you bring your dad home, you might need medical equipment/supplies, eg. if he needs tube feeding, call Bendemeer Medical Marketing (tel 62932307) as their price is cheaper and if the order is above $100 free delivery. Or else, try DNR wheelchair (tel 6254 4070). They might have a website to find out more. As for financial assistance, you might want to try CDC or approach your zone's MP. At same time I agree with applefreak that you might want to consider TCM, there's a TCM dept at Alexandra Hospital. Also, talk to the hospital physio therapist to understand how to help your dad exercise so that his muscle will not shrink and becomes weak. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
estamun 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2009 (edited) For elderly care, a maid can be trained at Choa Chu Kang polyclinic. This 1-day training will include all the basic skills for day-to-day care for your father with stroke. The maid only need to attend Module 1 "Care of Elderly", costs around $98. It's much easier than finding a maid who is already trained. http://www.nhgp.com.sg/contentview.aspx?article_id=494 You can try Home Nursing Foundation for nurses to come to your home for the occasional more complicated tasks of changing the feeding tubes (NGT) and urine tube (urinary catheter). http://www.hnf.org.sg/ For more in-depth 3 month training, can consider the Healthcare Assistant course. http://www.hmi.com.sg/hmi_ihs.html http://app2.wda.gov.sg/web/Contents/Contents.aspx?ContId=40 Btw, depending on the weight of your father, you may need more than 1 person to lift/position him. 1 maid alone may not be able to do the job. In a hospital setting, there are usually 2 persons. For heavy patients, it may even take 5-6 persons to move the patient. Please do not leave it to the maid alone if your father is heavy, or he may be inadvertently injured or suffer discomfort during movements. In the interim while you're settling the arrangements for your dad's care at home, you may wish to consider step-down care such as Ang Mo Kio Hospital. You can get help from the hospital nurses for referral to an appropriate interim solution. In addition, get the referrals and follow-up appointments for physiotherapy, speech and occupational therapy care. As for your dad being unable to open his eyes, this may be only temporary. You can check with the ward nurses or the attending doctors for more details of your dad's prognosis. Find out where the stroke location is, and you will understand what physical limitations your dad may face. FYI: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diving_Be...d_the_Butterfly "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" is a translation of the French memoir "Le scaphandre et le papillon" by journalist Jean-Dominique Bauby. It describes what his life is like after suffering a massive stroke that left him with a condition called locked-in syndrome. It also details what his life was before the stroke. It is also available as a film on DVD. Edited January 4, 2009 by estamun Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
666 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2009 My late dad got stroke 6 years ago...also 2 of my uncles and my frd's dad. All of us hired a maid, best hire a physically strong maid..not those small petite maid. We trained her while she's on the job. The doctor and nurse will come once a week or something..cant remember. Most stroke patient,unless those bed ridden type, do not wish to go thru therapy after sometime coz they feel meaningless and resigned to their fate. You must force and encourage them. Meantime can get ur medical supplies like adult diapers, bed sheet, etc. Make arrangement on how to take care of ur father. Impt is also regularly rotate ur dad on the bed if not can easily get bed sores. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mist 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2009 (edited) thank u all for your help. really appreciate it.. think i'll explore training of maid as an option.. seems the most economically viable and at least my dad can stay at home. sigh.. today his condition is uncertain again as he has developed some serious chest infection. might need longer time in the hospital. he is no longer responding to us as much as the past few days.. doc say it could be due to the medicine and the fever. sigh.. just when we saw some improvements in him, this has to happen. thanks estamum.. i've been reading lots of articles on stroke patients, about their recovery and all that.... i want my dad to be able to recover well enough too, in fact i dont even hope for much. just hope he can open his eyes and be able to talk again.. at least he wont be as isolated as now. but age is against him.. he is already 78. .. doctors are very pessimistic about recovery. sigh. besides, he suffered the worst type of stroke. brain stem stoke. livesimply... i;ve run out of things to encourage him about. . was doing ok with lots of things to tell him and encourage him everyday for the first week.. now its like keep repeating myself until he must think i v lorsor.. now we just let him listen to his fav music .. massage his legs and hands everyday.. but other then that really nothing much to say already. didnt even tell him its new year in case he get depressed. sigh.. applefreak, ya i definately gg to send him for acupuncture if theres a chance! i believe in it rdnest, we r thinking of downgrading fr b2 to c class ward but dunno whether he will have more discomfort with so many patients in the same room.. more noisy and more chances of getting infection. sigh will let my bro make the decision.. sigh i'm feeling frustrrated coz i cant do much to alleviate his suffering. Edited January 5, 2009 by mist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted January 5, 2009 hey mist, don't despair keep talking to your dad imagine you are left with only two senses, you'd want to make full use of them just tell him what happened in your life today it's okay to repeat what you have said because it's your voice that matters jia you jia you :sport-smiley-003: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deepakvali 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2009 to minimise bed sores, request for "pressure relief" matteress, you will have to pay a little for the matteress per day basis at the hospital but it is well worth it. get one for your home when ur dad discharges too. all the best and take care Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mist 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2009 (edited) sigh.. just upset that he has to spend the remaining time of his life in this state. he used to be so active for his age 666/deepakvali, thanks, ya the nurses rotate him every now and then.. they did say they will teach us how to take care of him when he is discharged. they are already providing him with the "pressure relief" mattress.. applefreak, yar right now keep repeating the same things.. sigh.. my day so mundane dunno what to tell him about my day also.. Edited January 5, 2009 by mist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
estamun 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2009 to minimise bed sores, request for "pressure relief" matteress, you will have to pay a little for the matteress per day basis at the hospital but it is well worth it. get one for your home when ur dad discharges too. all the best and take care Good point raised by deepakvali. To prevent bed sores, it is important to re-position your dad every 2 hours (hospital practice). In addition, check the backside (known as sacral area) for any redness or broken skin. Apply a skin barrier for added prevention. You can check the following url for Pharmex, a shop that sells/rent medical products and equipment. http://www.pharmex.com.sg/v2/index.php?pag...t&Itemid=26 May be worthy to observe chest physiotherapy being done to help your dad clear his lungs. This reduces the phlegm/fluid gathering in the lungs which increases risk of infection. You may also need to flex his joints (called "range of motion exercises") to keep them supple. Lastly, you may need to sit him upright sometimes to reduce bone de-mineralization. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livesimply 0 Report post Posted January 6, 2009 (edited) Hi mist, You have to take good care of yourself too! I know it's a alot to bear for you both mentally and physically but if you breakdown, you won't be able to help your dad. If your dad can feel touch, do comfort him also by holding his hand. You mentioned your dad got no CPF, does it mean he has never contributed a single cent? Reason I'm asking is that if he has ever made a contribution, he should be under the coverage of MediShield. Do check out from CPF board as it will help relieve the medical cost (better than nothing, right). I manage to claim $1k-$1.2k from my mum's MediShield to cover her medical cost. Do continue to share as I'm sure we all will try our best to help you out during this difficult time. You can call me at 97586452 if you need someone to talk to. Edited January 6, 2009 by livesimply Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cantona7 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2009 Hi Mist, So sorry now then I read abt ur case. First of all really felt sorry from the bottom of my heart that such mishap happen to your dad. My MIL also suffer from minor stroke 5 yrs ago, and due to the stroke she kenna diabetics too. So is a huge blow to her cause she like to eat alot of junk foods. During the stay in Hospital we heard alot of cases of full stroke patients recover fully this really gave us alot of encouragement. Now she is fully recover walking ard and still munching more junk foods. FAILURE TO RECOVER ARE THOSE WHO GAVE UP ON THEMSELVES! SO NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER HOW OLD ARE YOU. REMEMBER MIRACLE ALWAYS HAPPEN! Last but not least stay positive cos patient can feel the negative energy from u, even u try to encourage him. Trust me ur dad can felt all of your family energy which are the more impt push factors. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted January 7, 2009 applefreak, yar right now keep repeating the same things.. sigh.. my day so mundane dunno what to tell him about my day also.. or you can repeat what we say here at renotalk tell him that your fellow renotalkers ask him to jia you jia you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mist 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2009 sigh, thanks all so much. but just discovered my dad contracted pneumonia and mrsa. sigh. doc said they are already treating him with the strongest antibiotics. if it still doesnt kill the bacteria then they will just stop all antibiotic treatment. i feel terrible. its like waiting for a person to see if he dies. omg. dunno how long the wait will be. donno whether he will survive at the end of the wait. sigh. whatever it is i just hope he is not suffering. i'm so tired of feeling sad. still going over everyday to talk to my dad, although he hardly respond now. think the strong medicine make him drowsy. now that he has mrsa i'm also worried whether i accidentaly passed it to my babies. i've been taking extra precautions with mask and gloves now that i know but previously he could have contracted it and i've always had close contact as i massage him everyday. sigh. just hope my babies are alright. i cant take anymore bad news. livesimply, my dad was selfemployed so v little cpf. anyway all retirement account monies used up already coz he is 78 liao. hmm not sure abt medishield.. will go check. we just discovered he has a little medisave so will deduct from there first. cantona. thank god she recovered! stroke is such a scary thing. sigh. how old was ur mil? all the doc i spoke to were really pessimistic about my dads case partly due to the extensive damage caused by the brainstem stroke and partly due to his age.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
