To Hav Wedding Dinner Or Not?

[Angel81 1]

i bet parents have this kind of mentality to invite ALL those they know. so this u might have to get some control.

prob find a restaurant which is just big enuff to hold the number of close frens and relatives. in this way, u can control the number of guests both sides parents invite!

Haha! That's what my hb and I did for our wedding! Peony Jade (my wedding dinner restaurant) can only take max 22-23 tables. So we limited who our parents can invite.

Seriously thou, I agree with wat stevetang said. Most impt is that u both muz b happi.

[ahjane 2]

who pays...who get to talk..

wedding dinner - i did not engage fotographer..jus use my own and some frens bring along theirs to take. so i dun have the usual table to table fotos...cos no photographer mah...

knowing relatives give little..i only choose a small restaurant and assigned my in law limited tables. They only invited the parents...all kids must left at home..cos not enuff seats. hehe..like that wun lost money.

liqour only allow when dinner start...so the old folks wun drink to their death before dinner start..and i save money too...

i dun care..my wedding..my says..

my fren did not take wedding pics...she merely loan a gown..engage makeup artisit....and off she goes to wedding banquet..

up to you how to save cost..

if no money...no talk...tell MIL...no money..how to have dinner...ask her is she sponsoring?

Edited November 3, 2008 by ahjane

[cornetto 0]

ask ur MIL to pay? at most APs she keep?

[ahjane 2]

each person incharge own side.....inlaw pays for their own table and keep their own AP..if lose money..they top up themselve...i look after my side (relatives and frens), i gain money..i keep....

think got to have a good understanding whether having a wedding dinner will lose money or not...must know normally the relatives stingy or not...

my fren wedding... 2 elderly supposed to come by themselve....last min...they bring their two kids and instead 10 to a table...and only give AP for 2 pax....

if u know relatives are generous...then i think this business deal can go thru lah..

if not...must bargain with inlaw...see who more desperate for the dinner..

[Praveen 0]

Like others have said, I would talk to hb and ask what he wants to do.

Then, I would tell MIL that if she wants it, she will have to pay for it, because you all can't afford it. Then tell your parents the same thing.

It may seem rude to them, but tell them that you all have different priorities, and a wedding is not one of them.

She may be angry, but she will get over it in time. Especially when her grandchild comes into the picture!

[stevetang 0]

Like others have said, I would talk to hb and ask what he wants to do.

Then, I would tell MIL that if she wants it, she will have to pay for it, because you all can't afford it. Then tell your parents the same thing.

It may seem rude to them, but tell them that you all have different priorities, and a wedding is not one of them.

She may be angry, but she will get over it in time. Especially when her grandchild comes into the picture!

A kids for them to play with will sure keep their mouth shut

As they too busy liao, than sure forget about the wedding dinner thing.

And tell them, do they want their grand children to suffer if all the $$ went into the dinner.

[summerholiday 2]

ya, this is wat i'm thinkin,, kids will need money too.. actuali i hope to save money to prepare for kids, now still clearing reno loan, really don wish that debt after another.. but my mil n my mother wan to show off.. if i got money who don wan to hav a grand weddin.. jus trying to make my hubby and my life easy lo

[stevetang 0]

ya, this is wat i'm thinkin,, kids will need money too.. actuali i hope to save money to prepare for kids, now still clearing reno loan, really don wish that debt after another.. but my mil n my mother wan to show off.. if i got money who don wan to hav a grand weddin.. jus trying to make my hubby and my life easy lo

Than show them how poor you are.

Believe that ur mother and MIL will understand de, or just tell them if wants kids then no dinner. If wants dinner then no kids for the next 5 to 10yrs. See if they can wait bo. kidding la

If they really can wait than nothing to says

After all parent will sure understand, if you really sit down and talk to them with ur HB.

PARENT WILL NOT WANTS THEIR CHILDREN TO SUFFER just bcos of their face de.

Edited November 5, 2008 by stevetang

[rdnest 0]

recession is oredi here... think gonna stay a while.

maybe can take this as excuse? Or borrow $$ from inlaws/parents to hv the dinner

take forever to pay back :rofl:

see they still wan or not... if they reluntant, tell them it is worth it for the FACE

me notti

IMHO only hor...

[ahjane 2]

borrow?

tell them they pay for dinner loh..all relatives only...will not invite frens at all...they can keep the AP.

they also need to pay for gown and makeup and photographers too.

you two jus show up...free attendance...no charge..

[zirhk3355 1]

Than show them how poor you are.

Believe that ur mother and MIL will understand de, or just tell them if wants kids then no dinner. If wants dinner then no kids for the next 5 to 10yrs. See if they can wait bo. kidding la

If they really can wait than nothing to says

After all parent will sure understand, if you really sit down and talk to them with ur HB.

PARENT WILL NOT WANTS THEIR CHILDREN TO SUFFER just bcos of their face de.

If you are not really poor then how??

It will be like declaring yourself bankrupt to your parents: "You say no money right?? Then can go holiday? Can buy new hp? Can buy new clothes?? Aiyo, just save up all these money can use for wedding dinner liao!"

[SmartFool 0]

hehe maybe can choose a strategic hotel (as in not too ex for dinner) like

what some of my frens do and then they made $$ from the dinner.

important thing is guests must realize that now dinners are all inflated cos got GST la, service charge etc etc

[junxian 0]

IMO.. wedding dinner if want to do .. must do proper one... wouldn't do it coz of parent pressure.

I wanted a nice wedding as it will serve as a very memorable moment for me and my wife.

as for now still need to wait reno over.. then draft a saving plan for it ..

[ranval9 0]

nowadays market is bad.. everyone are cash tight esp after purchasing a flat and renovating it.

i hav tis pro, i'm alread cash tight cum with loans to pay.. soon will wan to hav a kid too.. and the kids will need cash too

now, my mil is chasing for a weddin dinner but i would like to save up money for future n for kid..

how?

another thing is i wont feel good if when attending my dinner my friends don enjoy.. also we are alread staying together for a yr.. a dinner is sthg tat already not sthg to hope for

hey summer, we are so alike ~ me myself being pressured by my grandmother-in-law for the wedding dinner. she wans me to have a proper one as she is upset that i got a "just sign n go" ROM.

ranval siam-ing since day1 ... lived together for a yr, got our SK house and ROM at 2006, live together till now , Reno only last yr 2007 and Wedding 2009 ...

well, have a good talk with your hubby, list down all the loans and installments you having currently and see thru properly ..

when the last payments goin to end, ( within next yr or 2yrs ) ...

see how much both of you can bring out and arrange to have proper joined savings a/c n spending a/c ...

eg one for baby , one for rain days , one for all the household bills etc ...

wedding: yes ( do it if you only are willing to do so , as wedding planning can be very stressful, most imprtly there is no need to rush )

totally agree with others that it is a once a life thingy ... cature n remember that moment always ~

i think you can either hold on a simple and small scale wedding, can check out next yr for great wedding deals at the resturants .. Once the food is great, No one would bother abt the location. Lunchie is always cheaper. (I'm more concerned abt the ppl I'm inviting, as long as they enjoy themselves with the food. I will be happy.)

there are lots of gowns you get just off the racks and get the best package of just 2 gowns, one for the white gown and other for the nite. Tea dress can get at anywhere else ... just lookout during the SAles !! Just get a good photographer on your AD, get hold of friends or relatives to arm with cameras for nice candi shots ....catch both of your best smiling moments .. =)

or lastly just have a housewarming cum Rom at your new place .. just invite very closed relatives and friends .. havin a buffet and your house will be warm up with all the REN QI !!!

baby: i vote NO.

you are not financal ready for it, dun rush ... just let things happen neturally. =)

dun worry .. everything will fall into places nicely .. once both of you set your minds n hearts together.

May you always happy and blissful !!

feel free to contact me .. i'm doing my own wedding planning .. thus i can give you the info you need for the best wedding deals.

P/S: it's always easlier to give advice to others .. but to act on yourself .. i know it's real hard ...

Edited November 7, 2008 by ranval9

[summerholiday 2]

hi ranval, i also tryin to siam... siam as much as possible, cos i need savings for rainy days which i don hav yet, wont want to owe pp money or in v v tight situation..