Y Do Man Change Only After Staying Together

[CutePinkElephant 0]

weekend ??? maybe going for a movie n dinner........

find one weekend dont go out for movie or dinner lor....

actually for me i dont like to go movie for dating too...u see we spend money,sit down,not look at each other,only hold hand.cannot talk haizzzzzzz............but why alot of people like to go movie for dating ler hor maybe im the abnormal one

if like u said, he always want to stay at home, maybe both of u da bao, rent a dvd /download and watch together at home? that will more sweet....

if he cannot change, u try to change urself first, for ur both happiness.

if after u try to change still not happy at least u already try ur best.

Do u plan to hv a bb soon?

yest , i try to be romantic.. know what?? iburn armoma in the rm n know what happen??? he did close the rm close when he came in cos he say how to sleep with the rm such a smell.. sighhhhhhhhhh really don know what to say....

Hahaha sometimes man really dont undrstand what woman want!

me too sometimes to be romantic and act cute but hubby dont get it

[HT devil 0]

find one weekend dont go out for movie or dinner lor....

actually for me i dont like to go movie for dating too...u see we spend money,sit down,not look at each other,only hold hand.cannot talk haizzzzzzz............but why alot of people like to go movie for dating ler hor maybe im the abnormal one

if like u said, he always want to stay at home, maybe both of u da bao, rent a dvd /download and watch together at home? that will more sweet....

ya hor.... nvr thought of it.... ok will c c what show is nice...

if he cannot change, u try to change urself first, for ur both happiness.

if after u try to change still not happy at least u already try ur best.

Do u plan to hv a bb soon?

i don wan leh...

yest , i try to be romantic.. know what?? iburn armoma in the rm n know what happen??? he did close the rm close when he came in cos he say how to sleep with the rm such a smell.. sighhhhhhhhhh really don know what to say....

so sad....

Hahaha sometimes man really dont undrstand what woman want!

me too sometimes to be romantic and act cute but hubby dont get it

[yellow 0]

Hey HT Devil, how about buying new clothes for yourself and get him to notice you. Clothes not just for day but night...

I learnt something from a book. Get a man to listen to you by talking slightly softer and slower than usual. It works on my hubby. Sometimes just the normal tone of our voice will turn them off without us realising.....sianz

i know the rest may object, but I still give a thumb up if you wish to do your own little search for clues around the house.... (i mean no harm if he did not know)

[Cantona7 0]

hahhaah because of one thread start by cantona7 now he is bad image already hor...bun hwahwuawhauw....cantona7 dont play play fire arr....

Notti Elephant how can u judge a person by just one Thread. So as HT devil dont jump to conclusion so fast.

Cant really comment much in here cos only u will know the FEEL as we are just a reader only... I always believe Feeling is the most accurate.

I know it will be hard on u as ur marriage is something like a trishaw (U are the one who always do the pushing) or else he wont move. Again this is the marriage u had choose so trying to change him will really take alot of ur time and patience (Worst may not even work).

So actually what is really bothering u?? Is it becos of the midnite call / n.ude photos or just only his attitude?

[ryan13680 0]

I don't understand why you say men change only after staying together. Actually, it seems like he has remained the same, while you have started to pry into his private life. In a matter of months, you have started monitoring who calls him, who emails him and everything that he does. 6 years of dating, and you had never done so. You also know you have been disrespecting his privacy.

You are also crying more, getting angry more - which would put anyone off. If there were a better road to divorce, this is it.

Not only that, you have not found anything incriminating, despite going to extreme lengths - it seems like you hope to find something. What you have found seems to imply only that the two women are throwing themselves at him and he seems to not care much. Ironically, there are women who love men who ignore them. They see it as a challenge and will continue to 'hound' him.

He is working in a fairly stressful line, where people may call him at all hours to discuss things. His free time is during the day. At night, when people are off work - they will call him to discuss details. If he were to have an affair, he would have it during the day. Rates are cheaper, and when he's travelling from site to site, he can easily slip off for some 'hot coffee'. Why bother with night-time when it's so easily discovered?

What I am saying is, he is likely not having an affair, and those calls are from clients, which is why he ignores them. Sometimes, the call is from an important client, and he probably has no choice but to take the call.

Think about his situation - while he's working in a difficult and uncomfortable line, he has a wife who shows no trust in him, despite having been dating for six years before getting married. Day in, day out, he probably 'kena' left, right, centre from rough and unreasonable clients. Go home, day in, day out, kena left right centre from his wife, who wants him to change to suit her.

Even when you tried something romantic, it was something you like - not what he likes. Communication does not always need to be verbal - it could be physical or from actions. Does he like massages? Food? Quiet? Do you hold hands regularly? Kiss goodbye? Hug and cuddle while at home? While watching TV, try massaging his hand and keep quiet. Perhaps he just needs time alone - then do your own things too, but drop by from time to time and give him a peck just to remind him you're there.

[CutePinkElephant 0]

Think about his situation - while he's working in a difficult and uncomfortable line, he has a wife who shows no trust in him, despite having been dating for six years before getting married. Day in, day out, he probably 'kena' left, right, centre from rough and unreasonable clients. Go home, day in, day out, kena left right centre from his wife, who wants him to change to suit her.

[BunBun 5]

That is a very deep analysis there ryan! You put it across very well but the actual story is not confirmed so its very difficult to put down a definite answer, solution. Unless the husband reassure HT Devil & clear everything up

Men and Women are alike in needing assurance & reassurance every then and now from their significant halves. This is what keeps the flame strong.

[Cantona7 0]

As I had mention before we are just only READER alot of fracts might be missing so we can only give some suggestions so please do not jump to conclusion easily.

The only person is HT Devil herself try to find a breakthrough in their relationship.... only the FEELING will tell whether ur partner is faithful to you.

I think HT Devil is trying to find a better way to improve their relationship here... since they jus stayed together for few weeks.

Marriage Road is still veri loooooong... Jia You HT Devil....

[HT devil 0]

I don't understand why you say men change only after staying together. Actually, it seems like he has remained the same, while you have started to pry into his private life. In a matter of months, you have started monitoring who calls him, who emails him and everything that he does. 6 years of dating, and you had never done so. You also know you have been disrespecting his privacy.

You are also crying more, getting angry more - which would put anyone off. If there were a better road to divorce, this is it.

Not only that, you have not found anything incriminating, despite going to extreme lengths - it seems like you hope to find something. What you have found seems to imply only that the two women are throwing themselves at him and he seems to not care much. Ironically, there are women who love men who ignore them. They see it as a challenge and will continue to 'hound' him.

He is working in a fairly stressful line, where people may call him at all hours to discuss things. His free time is during the day. At night, when people are off work - they will call him to discuss details. If he were to have an affair, he would have it during the day. Rates are cheaper, and when he's travelling from site to site, he can easily slip off for some 'hot coffee'. Why bother with night-time when it's so easily discovered?

What I am saying is, he is likely not having an affair, and those calls are from clients, which is why he ignores them. Sometimes, the call is from an important client, and he probably has no choice but to take the call.

Think about his situation - while he's working in a difficult and uncomfortable line, he has a wife who shows no trust in him, despite having been dating for six years before getting married. Day in, day out, he probably 'kena' left, right, centre from rough and unreasonable clients. Go home, day in, day out, kena left right centre from his wife, who wants him to change to suit her.

Even when you tried something romantic, it was something you like - not what he likes. Communication does not always need to be verbal - it could be physical or from actions. Does he like massages? Food? Quiet? Do you hold hands regularly? Kiss goodbye? Hug and cuddle while at home? While watching TV, try massaging his hand and keep quiet. Perhaps he just needs time alone - then do your own things too, but drop by from time to time and give him a peck just to remind him you're there.

hi ryan13680,

thks.... i know all this all this while but say is easy then do ma.....

hi ryan13680,

thks.... very chim lei..... but very true too. all the words are in the "COMPO' already..

cantona7,

thks for understand my stituation now.

over the weekend, had tried what u all had suggest ( wear nice clothes, hold hands, go walk walk) but he seems not interested.... sigh . tought there isn't any call ringin this few nights ( i don know did he off the phone ) but i just take it at it didn't ring. but i notuce that he took e phone everywhere he goes to. if it normal? like yest early in the morn he woke up n sit in the living room, n go along with the phone . then this morn got sms too. n while he is driving, he just hold on to the phone until he get doen the car ( pump petrol ) n the phone goes along too. i keep myself not to ask him but he like peep peep to c wheather i ask him or not...... strange??

[perpentual 0]

Its ok lah, my Hubby also bring his hp everywhere... except toilet....

He goes Living Rm, he bring his hp, he go kitchen, his hp goes, he go every angle, his hp goes. Not that he has something to hide, but he is always busy as he is in the construction line. Sometimes, the Project Manager of dunno which sites will call him or sms him to ask him some technical specs...

Learning to trust your man is most important right now...

[yellow 0]

He brings his hp everywhere he goes? Is that his habit previously? It is important that you stay calm at all time in spite of the question marks exploding in your head, ok. I hope this is just a case of hb work related stress for his kind of behaviour. Find a chance to talk about fun sweet memories which you guys had done together. Get the mood lighten up ok? Get him a handmade card to show ur support as a wife. if he can't listen, at least he can read rite? Smile more often but not like a stupid fool. Stroke his hand/face when in bed/asleep. Be demure & alert! Maybe it will touch his conscience and come to his senses for neglecting you.

man is the pillar of the house but the wife is the heart of the family. Without the heart, the pillar will collapse too.

Perpentual, trust your man? heavy sigh....I wonder why there are so many unfaithful hbs then. Never trust your man, but your heart!

Edited August 18, 2008 by yellow

[Cantona7 0]

Some Story to share.....

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

St ill, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

[HT devil 0]

He brings his hp everywhere he goes? Is that his habit previously? It is important that you stay calm at all time in spite of the question marks exploding in your head, ok. I hope this is just a case of hb work related stress for his kind of behaviour. Find a chance to talk about fun sweet memories which you guys had done together. Get the mood lighten up ok? Get him a handmade card to show ur support as a wife. if he can't listen, at least he can read rite? Smile more often but not like a stupid fool. Stroke his hand/face when in bed/asleep. Be demure & alert! Maybe it will touch his conscience and come to his senses for neglecting you.

man is the pillar of the house but the wife is the heart of the family. Without the heart, the pillar will collapse too.

Perpentual, trust your man? heavy sigh....I wonder why there are so many unfaithful hbs then. Never trust your man, but your heart!

wa....from ur words. u trusted ur man so much... gd gd

Edited August 18, 2008 by HT devil

[CutePinkElephant 0]

Some Story to share.....

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

St ill, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

bwhahahahah nice nice....

Edited August 18, 2008 by CutePinkElephant

[HT devil 0]

Some Story to share.....

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

St ill, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

waaaaaaaaa. nice hor...