Y Do Man Change Only After Staying Together

[ahjane 2]

i also know cannot accuse him of anything when there is no strong evidence....nor keep happing and nagging at him will help. can wait and observe...within a reasonable time frame....

but woman just cant simply sit there and wait silently..new era liao...now is openess...i not sure about others..but me and hubby share email accounts..cos easlier for frens to email us updates and share jokes. we open each other letters and mails and stack nicely, nothing wrong leh...not that i am a millionaire or secretlly tio toto....nothing much to hide also....

we should also take matters to our own hands to apply some strategy to detect abnormalities....hehee..abit overdone here.....

now HT devil case...not clear yet..dunno what is happening....y so upset over naked photos? unless it is naked photos of that insurance agent...or else internet can get such photo easily lah....? maybe thats the reason he dun wan to tell u cos you get upset over dirty jokes and such artisitic photos???

maybe he will tell u when u ready to accept...thou i dunno much about you lah...

[ahjane 2]

tot man seldom change...mostly it is the woman who changes...haha....

[Cantona7 0]

Hey I think it's probably quite a good idea...let him have a taste of his own medicine and hopefully, he will come to understand how u have been feeling all along....

Good Idea.... how abt I email all my personal collection to u or some of my own "special photos and Video clips" to u.

[HT devil 0]

thks everyone!!!! appreciate so much of my naggin.

i m a out going person who seldom stay at home . but he is the type that likes to stay at home . so i different. ( had been less since i know him cos he also getting old la)

cutepinkelephant-

thks . before marriage i had my arrguments with him to to let him open up . talk to him from work to friends to family members but turns out only me doing the talking. tot many of that will motived him to talk too. but after now 6 yrs already n this seems worst then before.

Ahjane

the lady's husband don know my hubby well to sent him all those emails la. i had check all the spam n sent mail too he too sent to that 2 lady only. me very seldom. i think from mar 08 till now only 3 email forwarded to me n others mainly to her too. oh ya. i check the address book too. only 4 of us. ME, My si n that 2 ladies.

cantona7

read my books n online that we have to give space to each other , but for this case email n phone calls whom not ans also consider space n privacy? i can always get someone to call me at night but he seems no reaction ( sleeping away )

[ahjane 2]

6 years liao ah....

so far no suggestion of money prob..

so far u mention : late night unanswered calls (since are around)...not sure if he will answer if u are not around? check calls history?? who call in...who call out...duration of calls...sms....

artistic photos : s_x prob?.... but if he comes back every night...maybe situation not so bad....not yet disappearing act huh...

maybe two of u go for short gateaway? just suggesting...u the best person to assess the situation....watever u do...dun give 3rd party a chance to step in....be objective....breathe.....

Edited August 14, 2008 by ahjane

[CutePinkElephant 0]

thks everyone!!!! appreciate so much of my naggin.

i m a out going person who seldom stay at home . but he is the type that likes to stay at home . so i different. ( had been less since i know him cos he also getting old la)

Diffrent make perfect:) every electricity need positive and negative to make it working

so even u like this one he like that one, as long as both comminicate well everything will be perfect.

[HT devil 0]

6 years liao ah....

so far no suggestion of money prob..

so far u mention : late night unanswered calls (since are around)...not sure if he will answer if u are not around? check calls history?? who call in...who call out...duration of calls...sms....

artistic photos : s_x prob?.... but if he comes back every night...maybe situation not so bad....not yet disappearing act huh...

maybe two of u go for short gateaway? just suggesting...u the best person to assess the situation....watever u do...dun give 3rd party a chance to step in....be objective....breathe.....

unanswered calls are normally not in bed time. night is the smses..

artistic photos - is she trying to say something to him?

getaway? we do 2 to 3 times a yr but only not this yr cos we were concentrating on the new house reno n wedding this yr. i tried to breathe but think breathless already...

Diffrent make perfect:) every electricity need positive and negative to make it working

so even u like this one he like that one, as long as both comminicate well everything will be perfect.

one question.... how to make him talk????

[Cantona7 0]

thks everyone!!!! appreciate so much of my naggin.

i m a out going person who seldom stay at home . but he is the type that likes to stay at home . so i different. ( had been less since i know him cos he also getting old la)

cutepinkelephant-

thks . before marriage i had my arrguments with him to to let him open up . talk to him from work to friends to family members but turns out only me doing the talking. tot many of that will motived him to talk too. but after now 6 yrs already n this seems worst then before. (See things nvr change since day 1 so why u suddenly expect him to open up to you.)

Ahjane

the lady's husband don know my hubby well to sent him all those emails la. i had check all the spam n sent mail too he too sent to that 2 lady only. me very seldom. i think from mar 08 till now only 3 email forwarded to me n others mainly to her too. oh ya. i check the address book too. only 4 of us. ME, My si n that 2 ladies.

cantona7

read my books n online that we have to give space to each other , but for this case email n phone calls whom not ans also consider space n privacy? i can always get someone to call me at night but he seems no reaction ( sleeping away )

Checking on ur HB email or phone will really put ur marriage on the rock.... I dont know what is the content of the email but if only Nu..de pic of ladies from friend Hubby then is OK..

Chances is I think you suspect him is having an affair right???

[ahjane 2]

no lah cantona...jus trying to narrowing the possibilities mah...money...woman...health...work...

since it is not, most likely not money or work....then it will be woman or health...

woman prob : to determine one sided or both sided prob...he into some r/s..or aviod advances? nowadays woman are quite agressive hor...

now nobody knows who is sender of those emails and pics....cannot judge by email address leh....but cannot see the actual real sender....

thats why...HT Devil, dun do anything irrational that will give other pple chance to make the whole situation worst....calm..calm...think think..plan plan

[HT devil 0]

Checking on ur HB email or phone will really put ur marriage on the rock.... I dont know what is the content of the email but if only Nu..de pic of ladies from friend Hubby then is OK..

Chances is I think you suspect him is having an affair right???

i know that checking his things is bad for a relationship. but NU.. pic from female? a bit odd rite.. would anyone do that ??

devil says he is n angel says he is not... so how???

no lah cantona...jus trying to narrowing the possibilities mah...money...woman...health...work...

since it is not, most likely not money or work....then it will be woman or health...

woman prob : to determine one sided or both sided prob...he into some r/s..or aviod advances? nowadays woman are quite agressive hor...

now nobody knows who is sender of those emails and pics....cannot judge by email address leh....but cannot see the actual real sender....

thats why...HT Devil, dun do anything irrational that will give other pple chance to make the whole situation worst....calm..calm...think think..plan plan

know what??? i had think think until i dont know what to do. plan for what? if in e past, i would have confronted him n give that lady a call. but now........

[apa 0]

sometimes, it cld b a 1 way situation (where the other party is interested n keep baitin him)

cld it b possible tat he is moody also cos it's disturbin to him n he's thinkin of how to deal? (seein as he doesn't wan to even answer the ringin phone sometimes. if somethin is goin on, i'm sure he will b sneaky bout it liao....)

juz my POV, try hard not to harp on this (i know it's difficult cos ur're hurt by him hidin things from u). juz b urself n being sweet as always to him.

his type most prob very slow to warm-up (my one @ home same). when he feel he's really to talk, i'm sure he will. i've learnt not to probe these ppl cos they will tend to shrink even more (like crab). as long as u show ur concern, they r more than happy to know u support him. he dun seem like a bad guy at all by ur description so in the meanwhile, stay strong!

[HT devil 0]

sometimes, it cld b a 1 way situation (where the other party is interested n keep baitin him)

cld it b possible tat he is moody also cos it's disturbin to him n he's thinkin of how to deal? (seein as he doesn't wan to even answer the ringin phone sometimes. if somethin is goin on, i'm sure he will b sneaky bout it liao....)

juz my POV, try hard not to harp on this (i know it's difficult cos ur're hurt by him hidin things from u). juz b urself n being sweet as always to him.

his type most prob very slow to warm-up (my one @ home same). when he feel he's really to talk, i'm sure he will. i've learnt not to probe these ppl cos they will tend to shrink even more (like crab). as long as u show ur concern, they r more than happy to know u support him. he dun seem like a bad guy at all by ur description so in the meanwhile, stay strong!

so just observe n cry on my own now.....

[Phantom 1]

Just tell your hubby

1) You know he has things on his mind.

2) He's probably not telling you because he doesn't want you to worry

3) Regardless, tell him you love him and hope he can find a solution and that you'll be there for him.

If he is having problems, he will appreciate what you tell him. If he's having affair or something he will now rethink it.

Its the best solution IMHO.

Sometimes, there are men who rather keep all the problems to himself because he feels that he tell you, you also cannot help.

Rather 2 person worry. He worry alone can already.

Good luck with everything.

[HT devil 0]

Just tell your hubby

1) You know he has things on his mind.

2) He's probably not telling you because he doesn't want you to worry

3) Regardless, tell him you love him and hope he can find a solution and that you'll be there for him.

If he is having problems, he will appreciate what you tell him. If he's having affair or something he will now rethink it.

Its the best solution IMHO.

Sometimes, there are men who rather keep all the problems to himself because he feels that he tell you, you also cannot help.

Rather 2 person worry. He worry alone can already.

Good luck with everything.

thks! i like that ..

[CutePinkElephant 0]

send cute nude pic or body paint is ok i think, i usualy also send to my male friends,and their wife some is my best friends. except the lady send really p*rn pic to ur hb.....

how too make him speak...hmmm....actually u know better than us, cause u already 6 year with him, and like u said his add book only hv 4 contact from here u know already he is a person who dont knw how to expression his feeling,or chatty.and need a time to find a friend who can match with him.and u are the lucky one to be choose.

u need to understand him, the more u want him to tell u the more he feel u are not a good person to tell(cause keep force him ),cause he need a very very relax time...to talk slowly and comfort with patient,let him speak to u when he want.let him feel he trust you really care and listen, not listen because u want to know.

by checking his email actually =worst= u not trust him=more tired to talk to u

haiyaaaa my engriishhhhh is bad ar if not i can write alot alot liao hwuawhuawhauwa