Why Do Man Keep Mistress Or Girlfriends After Marriage?

[Cantona7 0]

What kind of enjoyment do they get out of this? Then why go through the hassle of getting married when u can just swap as gfs and bfs??

Cantona, you tao nao pai izit?? 8|

Tell u their enjoyment is thru their mind, the pleasure of screwing other ppls wife... very ziam leh.

Is not easy to get into their club somemore getting wifey approval (not got money can join wan hor)... wtf this is going crazzzzy.

Their are going to another level of h_ell.

Edited June 13, 2008 by Cantona7

[MLR 0]

What kind of enjoyment do they get out of this? Then why go through the hassle of getting married when u can just swap as gfs and bfs??

Cantona, you tao nao pai izit?? 8|

I mentioned couple, cos not all are married. I guess they jus don't want to go home and found themselves alone.

In north america, pple hardly get marry, cos theres something known as common-law. If a couple had been staying together for more than a yr, then they hv rights to claim if one partner die, if they split, they can also split the house/car/kids/pets, etc (pardon me if I miss out somethings about tis, cos I m sure about details). So, many do not see the nid to get married. My hb's friend had only recently marry his g/f of 10 years and they already have 2 kids now age 8 and 5.... I made a fool out of myself when i met them 5 yrs ago, I happily asked to see their wedding pictures.

After dat incident, I never presume anything when i met his friends/family...

[jenandy 0]

Have you guys ever heard of the phrase "generally you will end up marrying the one whom you do not love the most"....but of course it does not happen to everyone.

Most important, as my wifey always said as well, the significant half is usally the one who can be your best friend throughout your whole life journey.

I also have females friends who told me they are seeing someone else despite them having bfs whom they so called love a lot....but yet they are seeing someone else who seemed to be able to provide them what their current bfs couldn't....so it boils down to human wants the best of both worlds. But the sad truth is we can't seem to have the best in everything. Even if you used to have a gf or bf who seemed to have everything that you are looking for, it might usually not end up with both of you walking down the rostrum....but yet again, this is generalisation and the same go for guys.

But one thing is always true....you gain some, you will lose some. Sometimes the lost may be so hard to bear.

Men have two brains, and it's dependent on when the blood flows to. I guess most important is do you smile when you see your significant half or do you dread to see them? And also, sometimes sex is not everything....

Edited July 19, 2008 by jenandy

[Flare 0]

Er... Perhaps it's because human brains are wired for relationships that last around 12-14 months, which is about long enough to produce a progeny/child.

The fact is, we, as a species, is not monoganous like swans. Actually, new findings show that Swans are only socially monogamy, but may have extra mating pairs. And I like to quote: "Only 3 percent of mammalian species are socially monogamous, although up to 15 percent of primate species are socially monogamous."

As for us Humans, acceptance of Monogamy or Polygamy are generally dependent on culture and society. I'm not an expert, but I believe that the wide spread acceptance of Monogamy by current society and law stems from the widespread of Christianity/Catholic teachings and strength of these nations in the past. Asian cultures and civilizations in the pasts generally accepts polygamy, just think: Rich/Royalty Chinese has many wifes/concubines, Indian Kings are renown to have many wives too, Malays were Hindus before the acceptance of Islam, and Islam also supports polygamy of up to 4 wives.

So, getting married to a single partner is a social norm, but when our conscious and socially trained behavior breaks down and our basic instincts took over, and err from socially accepted norm, we have an 'affair'.

However, this does not mean that I or you should condones extramarital relationships just because it's basic instinct (Well, it IS still socially unacceptable), but I just hope that I answered the Why part of the question. Why? It's because we are made that way.

Edited July 21, 2008 by Flare

[jenandy 0]

Er... Perhaps it's because human brains are wired for relationships that last around 12-14 months, which is about long enough to produce a progeny/child.

The fact is, we, as a species, is not monoganous like swans. Actually, new findings show that Swans are only socially monogamy, but may have extra mating pairs. And I like to quote: "Only 3 percent of mammalian species are socially monogamous, although up to 15 percent of primate species are socially monogamous."

As for us Humans, acceptance of Monogamy or Polygamy are generally dependent on culture and society. I'm not an expert, but I believe that the wide spread acceptance of Monogamy by current society and law stems from the widespread of Christianity/Catholic teachings and strength of these nations in the past. Asian cultures and civilizations in the pasts generally accepts polygamy, just think: Rich/Royalty Chinese has many wifes/concubines, Indian Kings are renown to have many wives too, Malays were Hindus before the acceptance of Islam, and Islam also supports polygamy of up to 4 wives.

So, getting married to a single partner is a social norm, but when our conscious and socially trained behavior breaks down and our basic instincts took over, and err from socially accepted norm, we have an 'affair'.

However, this does not mean that I or you should condones extramarital relationships just because it's basic instinct (Well, it IS still socially unacceptable), but I just hope that I answered the Why part of the question. Why? It's because we are made that way.

Haha....true.....but in one sentence summarised everything up...."humans are never satisfied"....

[Cantona7 0]

Haha....true.....but in one sentence summarised everything up...."humans are never satisfied"....

How to satisfied where there are so many opportunities outside.

[jpcc 0]

i watch documentary of nature and they say infidelity is a gene present in animals, including human.

Woman also stray but more psychologically than physically, i think.

[Guest sunshin387]

There are reasons too many as to why men or women have affairs on the side and writing this post may incur the wrath of some but someone's gotta play the devil's advocate.

I have been the other woman to a committed man for probably close to 2 years now. His wife of 12 years doesn't know and they were already having problems in their marriage before i came into the picture. I do not know of any woman who likes to break up a person's marriage and i certainly do not know of any who would purposely do that as well.

Unless you are as demented as the Joker in Dark Knight.

I know very well that there is a possibility that he will never sign the divorce papers because of the kids but life still goes on for me, with or without him.

To the men who are thinking of having one feet in another hole, make sure that the two women do not give you more headache than only one woman is capable of giving. If you can't even tahan one woman's nagging, what makes you think two can help you?

Of all the affairs that i am aware of, be it on the news or among friends, the other woman usually isn't as 'stable' as you think she can be. After a while, you will want to break it off because you cannot deal with having to assure two woman all the time..

As much as men stray for various reasons, women can stray too if you do not meet their emotional needs so treat your wife with tenderness and make her feel important. Like what they always say, words are cheap and actions speak louder.

She doesn't need material things from you but what she really needs is a hug and you letting her know that you miss her. There's no such thing as an affair-proof marriage but you can avoid falling by reminding yourself why you married him/her and don't take things for granted.

As adults, we make the choice as to who we want to marry.

After all the headache of renovating one home, imagine having to go through the WHOLE renovation process with another man or woman for another house all over again.

You want meh? Just my 2 cents worth..

[xinyi_reiko 0]

There are reasons too many as to why men or women have affairs on the side and writing this post may incur the wrath of some but someone's gotta play the devil's advocate.

I have been the other woman to a committed man for probably close to 2 years now. His wife of 12 years doesn't know and they were already having problems in their marriage before i came into the picture. I do not know of any woman who likes to break up a person's marriage and i certainly do not know of any who would purposely do that as well.

Unless you are as demented as the Joker in Dark Knight.

I know very well that there is a possibility that he will never sign the divorce papers because of the kids but life still goes on for me, with or without him.

To the men who are thinking of having one feet in another hole, make sure that the two women do not give you more headache than only one woman is capable of giving. If you can't even tahan one woman's nagging, what makes you think two can help you?

Of all the affairs that i am aware of, be it on the news or among friends, the other woman usually isn't as 'stable' as you think she can be. After a while, you will want to break it off because you cannot deal with having to assure two woman all the time..

As much as men stray for various reasons, women can stray too if you do not meet their emotional needs so treat your wife with tenderness and make her feel important. Like what they always say, words are cheap and actions speak louder.

She doesn't need material things from you but what she really needs is a hug and you letting her know that you miss her. There's no such thing as an affair-proof marriage but you can avoid falling by reminding yourself why you married him/her and don't take things for granted.

As adults, we make the choice as to who we want to marry.

After all the headache of renovating one home, imagine having to go through the WHOLE renovation process with another man or woman for another house all over again.

You want meh? Just my 2 cents worth..

Have you thought of what happen if his wife found out abt this?

Every TOW will say "i have never thought of breaking up the family" but you are already breaking up from the start of becoming TOW.

you are just plain selfish.. if things get out of hand.. do you think you will be happy? you hurting not only yourself, the guy, the wife and also the kids.. you sure you wanted this kind of love? Have you thought that you are in the wife's shoes?

you said "easy to break off", easier to be said.. if is that easy.. why affairs always turn out in the mess?

Have a good contractor/ID to renovated one home, will be hassle free and even enjoyed the process.. rather that a bad contractor/ID took the money, leave things undone causing greater damage..

[jpcc 0]

i think one should not be too judgemental about things, especially such things.

No one knows what happen during the process or what touches one person may be revolting to another. (ok, the old adage of one man's meat is another man's poision lah...)

There is such a hypothesis of fate , yuan fen, which is quite interesting, n i heard it somewhere...

1) If a man and a woman is fated to love each other for "x" years,

it will be great if they stay with each other for "x" years.

2) If they stay with each other for "y" years and x < y .

Mmmmm, when y-x = n

those n years will be **** to both of them.

So don't be too judgemental, if u believe in such fate lor... just my 2 cents.

[Guest sunshin387]

Yeah, problem was i encountered really bad contractors... Sigh.. Long story that resulted in a court case.. In the end, we didn't get our money back and the contractor ran away. Worst part, the firm is actually an acredited HDBay firm.

Anyway, i'm not trying to assuage anything or am looking for any advice because all of us are pretty opinionated.

I'm telling my side of the story so that the itchy backside don't scratch their itch..

[Cantona7 0]

I think it would be great if someone share their side of story here, cos I always think a broken marriage behind got alot of problems and it had been buried too long b4 explored.

Everyone got their rights to express their opinion but pls dont impose ur morale right on others.

[Junkay 1]

Reiko chill out lady. She is just telling her experience. Dont judge her for it. Obviously it got personal to you somehow.

topic is why do men keep sidelines after marriage not crucify the salem women.

Hiya... i think the root is money lah. If got money can have side dish what. Mistress is having like an emotional attachment already, girlfriend means like sugar daddy type I think. SO many stories of super wealthy men keep girls, house them in condos, as and when they like they go visit them. And its exclusitivity they like, and that cost a lot of moolah. But if they suspect that their wife knows something, they will drop it immediately. In that state of mind, the wife still rules the roost.

An affair however, involves time and emotions. That is somehow worse than the above. Cos you invest your feelings into another person, its not just fun and play.

Thats why be like Gene Simmons, happily unmarried. This guy chose not to legally marry, but he is bound by common law no doubt. But he has been with the same woman for 20 years. And he said, the moment he signs the paper, he will unconsciously break the marriage. Marriage is just a piece of paper, commitment and devotion is a state of mind. Dont need the law to tell you that.

[Phantom 1]

Marriage is just a piece of paper, commitment and devotion is a state of mind.

Best thing I've heard in this thread.

To sunshin387, if that is really your life then i sympathize your situation.

Its never easy to be the 3 party. For all the stigma that comes with it, i believe that some women actually don't do it purposely.

[xinyi_reiko 0]

Reiko chill out lady. She is just telling her experience. Dont judge her for it. Obviously it got personal to you somehow.

topic is why do men keep sidelines after marriage not crucify the salem women.

Hiya... i think the root is money lah. If got money can have side dish what. Mistress is having like an emotional attachment already, girlfriend means like sugar daddy type I think. SO many stories of super wealthy men keep girls, house them in condos, as and when they like they go visit them. And its exclusitivity they like, and that cost a lot of moolah. But if they suspect that their wife knows something, they will drop it immediately. In that state of mind, the wife still rules the roost.

An affair however, involves time and emotions. That is somehow worse than the above. Cos you invest your feelings into another person, its not just fun and play.

Thats why be like Gene Simmons, happily unmarried. This guy chose not to legally marry, but he is bound by common law no doubt. But he has been with the same woman for 20 years. And he said, the moment he signs the paper, he will unconsciously break the marriage. Marriage is just a piece of paper, commitment and devotion is a state of mind. Dont need the law to tell you that.

Junkay, dont worry.. i am not getting too personal.. just that i seen the real case before.. and it didnt turns out well.. liang bai ju shang..

i agree that affair involves time and emotions.. when comes to cutting off ties.. is easier than to be said..

having a 3rd party in a normal r/s is already bad enough.. and it is much worse to be the 3rd party in a marriage.. the consequences that the involved ppl have to bare are really far too much that we can think of.. someone that loves you, said the marriage vows infront of you, betray you.. is never a good feeling..