zirhk3355 1 Report post Posted January 24, 2008 hi zirhk,granndma says we hv hse so PIL shd stay with us..i just feel that why is it has to be us..cos hb got another brother mah,why can he get away scot free?i know i hv got to bear with it, but sometime is PIL making us look awkward, u know sometime my brother comes my hse, they will go hide in their rm, dun dare to come out even they need go toilet, i was so pissed off Is your husband the elder brother? If so then its natural, cannot say his younger brother get away 'scot-free' lah. But if your hubby is the younger son, then it must be because his parents like him more lor.Also, its not fair to say they make you feel awkward; I felt the issue is because they are not close to you. Eg if my parents come over my flat and we have our friends here, they will also feel paiseh and leave quickly. Of course I do not know what they are thinking exactly, but if I were to guess, I think they actually care for you and your hubby, so they want to give you both some space with your guest mah.Really, just try hard to get close to them; buy what they like to eat, let them watch their fav tv programmes, fill up the hot flask for them, etc. At the end of the day, you are their beloved son's wife, they won't be too hard on you lah. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tweetie76 0 Report post Posted January 24, 2008 (edited) ='Jan 24 2008, 12:10 PM' post='257139']Is your husband the elder brother? If so then its natural, cannot say his younger brother get away 'scot-free' lah. But if your hubby is the younger son, then it must be because his parents like him more lor.Also, its not fair to say they make you feel awkward; I felt the issue is because they are not close to you. Eg if my parents come over my flat and we have our friends here, they will also feel paiseh and leave quickly. Of course I do not know what they are thinking exactly, but if I were to guess, I think they actually care for you and your hubby, so they want to give you both some space with your guest mah.Really, just try hard to get close to them; buy what they like to eat, let them watch their fav tv programmes, fill up the hot flask for them, etc. At the end of the day, you are their beloved son's wife, they won't be too hard on you lah.hb is younger son, parent stay w us bcos they got no choice, no bcos they like my hb more..bcos elder son is super henpecken, the wife say cannot means cannot lor, he got no say Edited January 24, 2008 by tweetie76 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raincole 0 Report post Posted January 24, 2008 if really want to stay with hubby alone, then will need to rent a room for them lor. rental split half half with both brothers.Then no need to buy 2 house for your side and their side. So have some cash if you sell off your current house rite. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tweetie76 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) if really want to stay with hubby alone, then will need to rent a room for them lor. rental split half half with both brothers.Then no need to buy 2 house for your side and their side. So have some cash if you sell off your current house rite.hi raincole,don't u think it look very bad on us ? both sons hv hse but none can let them stay:( They cannot rent directly from HDB cos MIL name still stuck in grandma's hse. Do you know if we were to include PIL name in our hse as occupier, will her name be automatically remove from grandma's hse? force her to remove her name in this case..hehe but on the other hand,sometimes i really saluate PIL for not having a hse and can still survive under pressures for so many years.. Edited June 18, 2008 by tweetie76 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 if you include PIL name in your home, HDB will force sell grandma's flatthat's worst isn't it?guess for the time being everyone need to put in some effort to make living together amiable bahtake it this way loh, less seeing each other means less friction means better relationship Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tweetie76 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 if you include PIL name in your home, HDB will force sell grandma's flatthat's worst isn't it?guess for the time being everyone need to put in some effort to make living together amiable bahtake it this way loh, less seeing each other means less friction means better relationship hi applefreak, so my assumption is correct,haha.. i can put PIL name into my hse as occupier..then MIL name can be remove from the 3rm flat..but why will HDB force grandma to sell the flat? she has already clear the loan & she's >35yr, though not single but widow..u mean single owner can't own the flat? she's widow mah. i thot under the HPS, she can singlely own the flati don't get what you mean" less seeing each other means less friction means better relationship " who are u referring to ? i am seeing my pil everyday... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 because once you remove the person's name from the flat, the monies contributed towards the flat from cpf must be repaid, with accrued interest.so if your MIL's name is removed from the 3rm flat, someone will have to top up her cpf a/c with cash, if not hdb will force sell the flat to get the money loh i mean see less as in you don't do a lot of things together right?so no need to fight over tv, or what to have for dinner etcif one party keep giving way e.g. no beef or more veg, sooner or later will have arguements Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tweetie76 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) because once you remove the person's name from the flat, the monies contributed towards the flat from cpf must be repaid, with accrued interest.so if your MIL's name is removed from the 3rm flat, someone will have to top up her cpf a/c with cash, if not hdb will force sell the flat to get the money loh i mean see less as in you don't do a lot of things together right?so no need to fight over tv, or what to have for dinner etcif one party keep giving way e.g. no beef or more veg, sooner or later will have arguements hi applefreak,oh i see..that means grandma die die must find another person to replace MIL's name? she really cannot own the flat singly ? i dunno abt this at all..hehe ..then wat if grandma passed away, will my MIL automatically take over the flat singly or she has to sell it too ? I was surprise to find out that my fren's mum who is a divorcee, not working is able to rent a Yio Chu Kang 2 rm flat directly frm HDB, why is it so ? Even my hb's grand aunt, 80+ (grandma's sis), who is single, is also renting a 2rm flat from HDB directly too, she lives alone now. surprise to learn tat these pple got their way ~hehe Edited January 25, 2008 by tweetie76 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 no, no need another name. grandma can hold the flat alonebut someone MUST make payment back to your MIL cpf accountthat was what the whole issue was about right? money to pay your MIL cpf accountif got money to top up your MIL cpf a/c, can ask her to withdraw her name from the flat and apply for the studio liao mahactually renting a flat from hdb is not that difficult for pple with no incomeit's those with income that finds it difficult coz the level is set so low that you'll wonder how these pple survived Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tweetie76 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) no, no need another name. grandma can hold the flat alonebut someone MUST make payment back to your MIL cpf accountthat was what the whole issue was about right? money to pay your MIL cpf accountif got money to top up your MIL cpf a/c, can ask her to withdraw her name from the flat and apply for the studio liao mahactually renting a flat from hdb is not that difficult for pple with no incomeit's those with income that finds it difficult coz the level is set so low that you'll wonder how these pple survived hi applefreak,oh i see, we can top up MIL CPF..but she still cannot apply for studio cos there is a 30mth timebar but i thot single name cannot rent from HDB ? !! Edited January 25, 2008 by tweetie76 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
applefreak 1 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 studio apt no barcheck out the website for more infohttp://www.hdb.gov.sg/fi10/fi10201p.nsf/WP...ubMenu=Policiesas for renting from hdb, you can 'borrow' name one mahe.g. friend who is staying with children but not listed in application etc Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raincole 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 hi raincole,don't u think it look very bad on us ? both sons hv hse but none can let them stay:( They cannot rent directly from HDB cos MIL name still stuck in grandma's hse. Do you know if we were to include PIL name in our hse as occupier, will her name be automatically remove from grandma's hse? force her to remove her name in this case..hehe but on the other hand,sometimes i really saluate PIL for not having a hse and can still survive under pressures & 'humiliation" for so many years..Personally, yes. Both sons hv hse but parents cannot stay. But is it not what you are asking here? How to buy house and stay with hubby alone and lookin for alternate accomodation for his parents or am I missing your question? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tweetie76 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) studio apt no barcheck out the website for more infohttp://www.hdb.gov.sg/fi10/fi10201p.nsf/WP...ubMenu=Policiesas for renting from hdb, you can 'borrow' name one mahe.g. friend who is staying with children but not listed in application etc yahor, good idea..but who will lend u the name, only my mil then so silly to use her name for grandma flat !Personally, yes. Both sons hv hse but parents cannot stay. But is it not what you are asking here? How to buy house and stay with hubby alone and lookin for alternate accomodation for his parents or am I missing your question?hi raincole,see you also think that we are so unfilial ! not to mention others..we just feel that why must the elder son got escape scot free..ya, we wish to hv our own place,this is provided parent also hv their own hse, but this was impossible already..it they had, it will be 30yrs ago !! Now, we are like stuck forever with these burden, sometime we just wish that we disappear from earth forever..then duno what will happen to PIL..they wont die, right?At times, we do think of after selling our hse, buy a unit for them, while we rent or stay at my parent plc to avoid gossip.... but i m sure PIL will be unhappy too.. Edited June 18, 2008 by tweetie76 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raincole 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 I dun see how the elder son managed to gotten scot free.Dun they have family gathering?? At times, can you arrange for such gathering at his place...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tweetie76 0 Report post Posted January 26, 2008 I dun see how the elder son managed to gotten scot free.Dun they have family gathering?? At times, can you arrange for such gathering at his place......Hi raincole,No family gathering lor, only occassionly bil comes over to visit pilpil also know that sil dun like them so they nvr go to their hse they only hide on our hse, also seldom go out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites