xinyi_reiko 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 Not really leh...nowadays higher level of authority doesn't equate higher earning power... Of course not asking to forgo the chance of having earning power just so that your husband can at least be on par with you....who doesn't want more money? It's ok if he earns lower than me, but he must have the drive and ambition to succeed. What I can't tolerate in guys is contentment with status quo even with the knowledge that the wife is earning higher than him, nothing wrong with that but it's just my personal opinion. What I observed is that, usually female bosses who are really high up there in terms of authority and earning power, the partner usually is a successful man himself....i dunno lar.....this is what i observed from my previous bosses....the same can't be said for male bosses though....some are also high up there in authority and earning power but wife is a stay home mum or housewife....So can't compare really.. then we say earning power ba.. since you can suka suka name yourself as director.. of course i dunno if hubbies of female bosses are really high up there too.. nv go kapo and ask.. so would you wont accept house husband also lah.. wat short term?? i had been earning more than him for a few yrs and if i changed to a similar work scope previously, my pay will be much much higher than him... i really dun bother about this. i think hubby wont mind too. of course i dun behave bossy to him lah... instead, he's the one who is bossy to me okok you win.. earning more does not means need to behave bossy lah.. 2 different matter i feel.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Air 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 then we say earning power ba.. since you can suka suka name yourself as director.. of course i dunno if hubbies of female bosses are really high up there too.. nv go kapo and ask.. so would you wont accept house husband also lah.. okok you win.. earning more does not means need to behave bossy lah.. 2 different matter i feel.. ya lor...nowadays u can assign yourself very powerful title....but money-wise, not that powderful..... No leh i can't accept Because I would rather take his place and becme housewife so that I dun have to work Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katvolution 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 Wah... so many replies le.. That's a rather interesting topic that you gers were discussing.. For my case, I am always earning lesser than my boy.. Until I got a couple of fat increments, then slightly more than my boy.. Until, he just changed job, his is much much higher than mine now.. I can never catch up with him anymore!! But for him, I am only looking at his basic and not not commissions or incentives.. Coz to me, basic is secured $$ whereas the others depend largely on the performance and economy.. I don't mind earning more than him.. But from what I know, he don't really like the idea of it.. Maybe man's ego? I actually don't mind him to be a house-man.. Keke.. Last month, he stayed home for a month before starting on his new job.. And I quite like the feeling of it.. I am less traditional than Air.. To me, a hubby no doubt need to have the earning capability, but he must also be able to commit to other important aspects of our life.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Air 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 Wah... so many replies le.. That's a rather interesting topic that you gers were discussing.. For my case, I am always earning lesser than my boy.. Until I got a couple of fat increments, then slightly more than my boy.. Until, he just changed job, his is much much higher than mine now.. I can never catch up with him anymore!! But for him, I am only looking at his basic and not not commissions or incentives.. Coz to me, basic is secured $$ whereas the others depend largely on the performance and economy.. I don't mind earning more than him.. But from what I know, he don't really like the idea of it.. Maybe man's ego? I actually don't mind him to be a house-man.. Keke.. Last month, he stayed home for a month before starting on his new job.. And I quite like the feeling of it.. I am less traditional than Air.. To me, a hubby no doubt need to have the earning capability, but he must also be able to commit to other important aspects of our life.. I will also nvr be able to catch up with my hubby cos he's got much more qualifications and experience than me The fact that he's a few years older than me makes it more difficult for me to accept the possiblity of him having a lower earning power than me. I'm more comfortable with him earning more than me so that in case next time i have kids and i decide to be a stay home mum, i can comfortably do so without having to worry abt bread and butter issues I agree totally on the last part. It's no use if a man is an income generator but sucks in other aspects of life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xinyi_reiko 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 ya lor...nowadays u can assign yourself very powerful title....but money-wise, not that powderful..... No leh i can't accept Because I would rather take his place and becme housewife so that I dun have to work Then what you waiting for? quickly quit your job and be housewife lah.. Wah... so many replies le.. That's a rather interesting topic that you gers were discussing.. For my case, I am always earning lesser than my boy.. Until I got a couple of fat increments, then slightly more than my boy.. Until, he just changed job, his is much much higher than mine now.. I can never catch up with him anymore!! But for him, I am only looking at his basic and not not commissions or incentives.. Coz to me, basic is secured $$ whereas the others depend largely on the performance and economy.. I don't mind earning more than him.. But from what I know, he don't really like the idea of it.. Maybe man's ego? I actually don't mind him to be a house-man.. Keke.. Last month, he stayed home for a month before starting on his new job.. And I quite like the feeling of it.. I am less traditional than Air.. To me, a hubby no doubt need to have the earning capability, but he must also be able to commit to other important aspects of our life.. kinda unexpected that you are less traditional than Air leh.. i always thought that you are the more traditional type.. man's ego or not is another matter ba.. which let the guys have their own discussion on this.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Air 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 Then what you waiting for? quickly quit your job and be housewife lah.. kinda unexpected that you are less traditional than Air leh.. i always thought that you are the more traditional type.. man's ego or not is another matter ba.. which let the guys have their own discussion on this.. Quit job now stay home do what?!?! No kids for me to play now leh....and cannot afford to quit now cos hubby just changed job and took pay cut also..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xinyi_reiko 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 I agree totally on the last part. It's no use if a man is an income generator but sucks in other aspects of life. the other way round you also wont accept what.. so what is the use? lets have another sceniaro... hubby decided to go for lower income job.. but he is happy in that job which give satisfaction.. of coz least advancement like volunteery job.. will you accept?? Quit job now stay home do what?!?! No kids for me to play now leh....and cannot afford to quit now cos hubby just changed job and took pay cut also..... housewife lor.. now in trend to take pay cut to change job huh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Air 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 the other way round you also wont accept what.. so what is the use? lets have another sceniaro... hubby decided to go for lower income job.. but he is happy in that job which give satisfaction.. of coz least advancement like volunteery job.. will you accept?? My hubby is in such a scenario now....he took at least 20% pay cut to join back his first company which is just a small company but he forsees good prospects there....so i can accept.... As to such extremes like voluntary job, I duno...sooner or later will have bread or butter issues.... I've a friend who used to be a worker of some christian organisation, drawing a minimum sum of money each month....she gave up a few years later cos with that kind of money very hard to survive....so are you asking a realistic question?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xinyi_reiko 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 wah.. after lunch feeling damm sleepy.. zz My hubby is in such a scenario now....he took at least 20% pay cut to join back his first company which is just a small company but he forsees good prospects there....so i can accept.... As to such extremes like voluntary job, I duno...sooner or later will have bread or butter issues.... I've a friend who used to be a worker of some christian organisation, drawing a minimum sum of money each month....she gave up a few years later cos with that kind of money very hard to survive....so are you asking a realistic question?? hmmm okok.. i trying to gather some views lah.. because my hubby is laid back type very contented of what he is doing now, doesnt want to move on (which Air dislike the most), so i am now going further than him liao.. everytime we talk abt this issue.. will end up arguments.. i keep thinking maybe i should learn to accept the fact, since he is already like this even before we married.. i kinda regret that before marriage i never treat this problem seriously.. sometime cant help but to compare him with other ppl.. haiz.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fifi 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 i know for my hubby, he feels that it's a waste of time climbing up the corporate ladder coz no matter how high u are, if the company doesnt need u, they dun need any reason he feels that money is more impt. so he rather stay stagnant but do his own sideline... his bro is now holding a much higher position than him but i told hubby before. it's not that he cannot do wat his bro had achieved. it's just that his thinking is different from his bro. and if he really wanna climb up the corporate ladder, i believe he can do better than his bro Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Air 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 (edited) wah.. after lunch feeling damm sleepy.. zz hmmm okok.. i trying to gather some views lah.. because my hubby is laid back type very contented of what he is doing now, doesnt want to move on (which Air dislike the most), so i am now going further than him liao.. everytime we talk abt this issue.. will end up arguments.. i keep thinking maybe i should learn to accept the fact, since he is already like this even before we married.. i kinda regret that before marriage i never treat this problem seriously.. sometime cant help but to compare him with other ppl.. haiz.. Sometimes whether or not to bia for your moolah is really up to individual.....honestly, if I were you, I would tend to compare him with other ppl....but then ren bi ren qi si ren....since he's already like that before you got married, you should have accepted the fact that he is what he is.....dun try to change him, I believe nobody likes to be forced or pressured into doing something. Unles you have serious bread and butter issues which stems from his current attitude towards work then it's an issue, otherwise I think there's pretty much nothing you can do to change him. Sometimes when you know that you have no way out, the only way is to change your own thinking. Edited July 24, 2008 by Air Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fifi 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 agree with Air as long as he has planning for both of u in the future, cfm wont suffer lah! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Air 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 (edited) i know for my hubby, he feels that it's a waste of time climbing up the corporate ladder coz no matter how high u are, if the company doesnt need u, they dun need any reason he feels that money is more impt. so he rather stay stagnant but do his own sideline... his bro is now holding a much higher position than him but i told hubby before. it's not that he cannot do wat his bro had achieved. it's just that his thinking is different from his bro. and if he really wanna climb up the corporate ladder, i believe he can do better than his bro Ya, when I was young, my dad used to tell me that if other ppl can do it, you can do it too, nothing is impossible. Until now, his words are still deeply embedded in my mind. I believe everybody can make it big, nobody will be a born loser. The issue is whether he wants to make it big or not, and of course luck plays an impt issue. Then again, if you have no drive to succeed, no matter how much luck or opportunities present themselves to you, you're still gonna stay the same. Actually, I kinda hv the same thinking as your hubby. I used to want to climb high high up the corporate ladder, then after working for some time, I realised it's pointless really. No matter how high you climb, you are still working for other people. all your hard work and the money you make goes to someone else. At the end of the day, who are you really working for?? My dream is to work for myself, every penny earned goes back to my pocket, not to someone else's. To me now, I no longer see the corporate ladder as my final destination. Edited July 24, 2008 by Air Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xinyi_reiko 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 Sometimes whether or not to bia for your moolah is really up to individual.....honestly, if I were you, I would tend to compare him with other ppl....but then ren bi ren qi si ren....since he's already like that before you got married, you should have accepted the fact that he is what he is.....dun try to change him, I believe nobody likes to be forced or pressured into doing something. Unles you have serious bread and butter issues which stems from his current attitude towards work then it's an issue, otherwise I think there's pretty much nothing you can do to change him. Sometimes when you know that you have no way out, the only way is to change your own thinking. I guess you are right.. i ever thought if one fine day he really becomes someone that i desired for... will everything be same? would i still be happy with him? questions with no ans.. at the same time i thinking maybe i should just leave him there.. i continue to bia my moolah.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fifi 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 same same... i used to envy those who kept promoting but end of the day, after promotion, still doing same thing mah so wat? no change at all... i dun mind be my own boss if i can I guess you are right.. i ever thought if one fine day he really becomes someone that i desired for... will everything be same? would i still be happy with him? questions with no ans.. at the same time i thinking maybe i should just leave him there.. i continue to bia my moolah.. if he becomes wat u desired, more successful, he might change no one will stay the same... for better or worse if it's for the worse, will u prefer him to be slack but faithful to u than successful but changed to a totally different person? u will feel differently if he has no time for u.. now coz ur hubby has time to spend with u dat's why u're thinking this way Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
