S**less Marriage

[lifestyle 0]

Hi

me also kpo over here as this is interesting case. Man, i can't believe this! Guess everyone already mentioned all the possibilities & suggestions.

Could he be self depress when come to having sex or when trying to satisfy the opposite partner. Most likely he is not experienced, bad experience in the past or do not know how and feel embarrased.

By judging from the fact that he does not like to reveal his personal stuff (as mentioned earlier like his salary, passbook, etc.) he is very secrective and does not like to open up. Could he be in financial stress?

Advise maybe for her to go more on holidays (so that hopefully will open up more) together and see more romantic/comedy/kids movies. If not then seek counselling (but this sometimes very difficult in case he feel ashame or he is not willing) ... if all else failed or not improving best if she discussed it openly and suggest a few ideas like finding another person who is more suitable to her and enjoy having kids (maybe he will realised what he will miss and open up or change his mind...hope so ).

Cheers

Edited January 25, 2008 by lifestyle

[applefreak 1]

Ya, she did talk to him tat she has her needs too bt the guy just revoke her and say why she must hv s-e-x..... STUPID PIG!@$&$#@%&%$#&

There is nothing she can make the guy to try cos the guy wan zero chance to hv babies....

Anyway, we cannot meddle much into their affair too...

My fren is a traditional woman, to her, divorce is something disgraceful...

Tat is y I can only wish her all the best!

IMO, he is just a plain SELFISH, STUPID, IDIOTIC PIG whom is ruining the happiness of a woman....

Sigh! To tink there is such a marriage nowadays....

don't want baby ask him to go and tie lah

to me that's just an excuse loh !!

guess we all grow up differently, so have different expectations

now i can say i will walk out on the marriage, but who knows what i'll really do when it happens to me

if i really love the guy so much, i might be willig to put up with it

Edited January 25, 2008 by applefreak

[karen77sg 0]

Hi

me also kpo over here as this is interesting case. Man, i can't believe this! Guess everyone already mentioned all the possibilities & suggestions.

Could he be self depress when come to having sex or when trying to satisfy the opposite partner. Most likely he is not experienced, bad experience in the past or do not know how and feel embarrased.

By judging from the fact that he does not like to reveal his personal stuff (as mentioned earlier like his salary, passbook, etc.) he is very secrective and does not like to open up. Could he be in financial stress?

Advise maybe for her to go more on holidays (so that hopefully will open up more) together and see more romantic/comedy/kids movies. If not then seek counselling (but this sometimes very difficult in case he feel ashame or he is not willing) ... if all else failed or not improving best if she discussed it openly and suggest a few ideas like finding another person who is more suitable to her and enjoy having kids (maybe he will realised what he will miss and open up or change his mind...hope so ).

Cheers

Hi Lifestyle...I dunno wat happen to her HB....and we really hope we noe so tat we can solve my fren's plm...

And her HB is definitely not in financial stress...in fact, he is the richest amongst all...I tink he is too rich and scared my fren will wanna cheat his money...

They have went many holidays already and in fact more than us....bt still it doesn't work...

I dunno on the movie part bt I believes my fren has done her part as a wife....I m not trying to say my fren is fault-less...bt from wat I c, the guy got the more plm.

I tink counselling on my fren will work, bt not on the guy, he will not go cos he is v egoistic...

It really depends on my fren herself...mabbe she choose to lead tis kinda life...like I say earlier on, I can oni wish her good luck!

We can lend her our ears, bt it can be frustrating if she cannot make up her own mind and keep on repeating her woes and plms...

don't want baby ask him to go and tie lah

to me that's just an excuse loh :bangwall:

guess we all grow up differently, so have different expectations

now i can say i will walk out on the marriage, but who knows what i'll really do when it happens to me

if i really love the guy so much, i might be willig to put up with it !!

Its really true.....but but, my endurance not so good...and I dun tink I so "wei da" to be a living widow on tat part!

[missysg 0]

come across this thread and drop by to kay po kay po.

read thru all the post and really stunned by the actions of this guy. this guy is really a 熊猫who dun eat fish but eat only 竹子。

think if i m the girl, i am sure to walk out of this marriage. if not i will go out and seek for my true love. he is so selfish, how can he just expect yr friend to satisfy him nia! nv spare a thought for yr friend.

Edited January 30, 2008 by missysg

[Felix 0]

Beyond words ....

[karen77sg 0]

come across this thread and drop by to kay po kay po.

read thru all the post and really stunned by the actions of this guy. this guy is really a 熊猫who dun eat fish but eat only 竹子。

think if i m the girl, i am sure to walk out of this marriage. if not i will go out and seek for my true love. he is so selfish, how can he just expect yr friend to satisfy him nia! nv spare a thought for yr friend. !!

Precisely! Tats y I say he is plain selfish! Really pity my fren!

[L.er 0]

I know of a couple who married for more than 5yrs, but the husband doesn't want to have sex at all merely because he doesn't want children in their marriage. His ex-gf had an abortion for him, he doesn't want to repeat the history. But, his wife said he has high sex desire, therefore he'll always ask for petting and the wife to do some job for him. So far I've only heard of wives have no desire for sex, but hardly heard about husbands.

Did your friend talk to her husband to let him know how she feels over this? Some women need sex with their husband to get the assurance that she's still attractive to him, if your friend is also feeling this way, then it's best for her to tell him frankly...... and most important thing of all, she has to find out if he's having some problems that he didn't share with her.

Edited February 24, 2008 by L.er

[karen77sg 0]

I know of a couple who married for more than 5yrs, but the husband doesn't want to have sex at all merely because he doesn't want children in their marriage. His ex-gf had an abortion for him, he doesn't want to repeat the history. But, his wife said he has high sex desire, therefore he'll always ask for petting and the wife to do some job for him. So far I've only heard of wives have no desire for sex, but hardly heard about husbands.

Did your friend talk to her husband to let him know how she feels over this? Some women need sex with their husband to get the assurance that she's still attractive to him, if your friend is also feeling this way, then it's best for her to tell him frankly...... and most important thing of all, she has to find out if he's having some problems that he didn't share with her.

Yes, she did told the husband abt her feelings bt the HB still dun feel anything...he is too engrossed into

bazi, FS and buddhism talks...I not trying to say all these things are not good, bt I tink he is too deep into it and oblivious to his wife's feelings....and when any one of us tried to hint him and joke with him tat he is too deep into such things, he will be angry...so we c no point to tell him anymore...

She did try to find out the problem, bt his HB keep on saying no problems...so this matters still drag on.....

[Cantona7 0]

Yes, she did told the husband abt her feelings bt the HB still dun feel anything...he is too engrossed into

bazi, FS and buddhism talks...I not trying to say all these things are not good, bt I tink he is too deep into it and oblivious to his wife's feelings....and when any one of us tried to hint him and joke with him tat he is too deep into such things, he will be angry...so we c no point to tell him anymore...

She did try to find out the problem, bt his HB keep on saying no problems...so this matters still drag on.....

Now is time for her to choose the way of life she wan to be with in future. She can take a good look at the female singer (Cai Qing) she is a real good example sometime when u listern to her song u can feel tears in it.

Decide now is better than do it later, what is the teaching value in it where the family is not put on the top priority.

[karen77sg 0]

Now is time for her to choose the way of life she wan to be with in future. She can take a good look at the female singer (Cai Qing) she is a real good example sometime when u listern to her song u can feel tears in it.

Decide now is better than do it later, what is the teaching value in it where the family is not put on the top priority.

Hmm....Did tel her before...bt since she has made the decision, dun tink we shd say much cos its her choice...

We are only outsiders...

[ranval9 0]

Hmm....Did tel her before...bt since she has made the decision, dun tink we shd say much cos its her choice...

We are only outsiders...

hmm... feel so sorry for your friend.

just to side track abit ... it is not uncommon for s.e.x.less lifestyle, esp after marriage or long relationship.

well, dunnoe to say my gf heng or not ...

her hubby only wants IT as and when he likes to have (very selfish on his part) ... the timing can be very weird ... sometimes once a week or almost 2mths liao also nothing ...it went on for more than 3 yrs... she has hard time to put up with him ... like how to be ready mode at that instant ... she so sian and tends to think that her hubby dun love her as much as before ... tried her best to satisfy him , by doing B.J. to arouse him etc .. but somehow things just din work out well ...he would end up saying that he tired from work and went to sleep or said he got turn off seeing her being so desparated (dun we gers have the needs too meh) ... he also has the same mindset ... dun wan to have kids ( even mine says so but me dun mind waiting as we are still young. )

the main problem here is that ever since she found some hardcore **** files within his pc, she gave up hope on him and to get even ... she went out partying and had affairs with others , just to "kill" her needs and to get attention to prove to herself that she is still a hot babe... she got this goin on for almost 2yrs liao ... all the men dare to claim that they wanted her to be their wife or gf , even after knowing that she is still legally married.

all of us ( the sista-hood ) were too shock to react when one fine day, she just suddenly broke down and crying to us ...saying that she thou hates her current lifestyle, she just simply loves her hubby too much to leave him ... some of us try our best to talk her out and telling her to stop her habits .. what if her hubby get to find out about her new nitelife or worst she got STD from any of the men ... sad to say, after she blurt out , many of my gfs out cast her and called her a ****

thus to me, i personally feel that my gf is much more worst off than your friend

at least she is very lucky to have you to be there for her and support her when in need.

why dun some guy just get it

most gers needs time

to kick start and to get the right feelings to reach the top wor

while guys can just switch on n off anytime !!

seriously, i feel that i'm really jaded to see so many couples ard me ending their marriages .. too much of drama liao ... how wish my own marriage can block out all such happenings and goes on strong ...

[karen77sg 0]

hmm... feel so sorry for your friend.

just to side track abit ... it is not uncommon for s.e.x.less lifestyle, esp after marriage or long relationship.

well, dunnoe to say my gf heng or not ...

her hubby only wants IT as and when he likes to have (very selfish on his part) ... the timing can be very weird ... sometimes once a week or almost 2mths liao also nothing ...it went on for more than 3 yrs... she has hard time to put up with him ... like how to be ready mode at that instant ... she so sian and tends to think that her hubby dun love her as much as before ... tried her best to satisfy him , by doing B.J. to arouse him etc .. but somehow things just din work out well ...he would end up saying that he tired from work and went to sleep or said he got turn off seeing her being so desparated (dun we gers have the needs too meh) ... he also has the same mindset ... dun wan to have kids ( even mine says so but me dun mind waiting as we are still young. )

the main problem here is that ever since she found some hardcore **** files within his pc, she gave up hope on him and to get even ... she went out partying and had affairs with others , just to "kill" her needs and to get attention to prove to herself that she is still a hot babe... she got this goin on for almost 2yrs liao ... all the men dare to claim that they wanted her to be their wife or gf , even after knowing that she is still legally married.

all of us ( the sista-hood ) were too shock to react when one fine day, she just suddenly broke down and crying to us ...saying that she thou hates her current lifestyle, she just simply loves her hubby too much to leave him ... some of us try our best to talk her out and telling her to stop her habits .. what if her hubby get to find out about her new nitelife or worst she got STD from any of the men ... sad to say, after she blurt out , many of my gfs out cast her and called her a ****

thus to me, i personally feel that my gf is much more worst off than your friend

at least she is very lucky to have you to be there for her and support her when in need.

why dun some guy just get it

most gers needs time

to kick start and to get the right feelings to reach the top wor

while guys can just switch on n off anytime !!

seriously, i feel that i'm really jaded to see so many couples ard me ending their marriages .. too much of drama liao ... how wish my own marriage can block out all such happenings and goes on strong ...

Hi ranval9,

Sad to hear wat happen to your gf!

Bt I feel its not worth making such a sacrifice over her selfish husband...

Mabbe we are not in it...so we dun understand the loneliness she is undergoing...

Or perhaps she is trying to make her HB change or notice her after wat she has done...

Hmmm....my gf did not mention to us wat she has done on her quiet side....bt I really

hope she has not done anything to hurt herself...As i mentioned earlier on, she keep

to herself very very much and it comes to a surprise tat she will confide to me...

Wat I can c is she will go out with her own family v often if the HB dun accompany

her which is good...she really got family support!

Honestly, I dun tink I can put up with such an abnormal marriage life....perhaps my endurance

threshold is not tat great!

Nevertheless, to each its own....decision is ours, watevea decision we made, whether

good or bad, we cannot blame anyone....

[ranval9 0]

Hi ranval9,

Sad to hear wat happen to your gf!

Bt I feel its not worth making such a sacrifice over her selfish husband...

Mabbe we are not in it...so we dun understand the loneliness she is undergoing...

Or perhaps she is trying to make her HB change or notice her after wat she has done...

Hmmm....my gf did not mention to us wat she has done on her quiet side....bt I really

hope she has not done anything to hurt herself...As i mentioned earlier on, she keep

to herself very very much and it comes to a surprise tat she will confide to me...

Wat I can c is she will go out with her own family v often if the HB dun accompany

her which is good...she really got family support!

Honestly, I dun tink I can put up with such an abnormal marriage life....perhaps my endurance

threshold is not tat great!

Nevertheless, to each its own....decision is ours, watevea decision we made, whether

good or bad, we cannot blame anyone....

what you said is true ..

just let her be ... in the end , she must choose the right path herself ...

we as friends , give support whenever we can ~

[CutePinkElephant 0]

maybe he think women is nothing for him, as u said his parents divorce long time ago liao, it means his father be a single parent , take care for him without women(mother) and everything is ok till now.

so maybe he think ... if hv a wife is ok....dont hv a wife also ok...wat...

or maybe he hate his mother? and not hv faith in women anymore..

heheheh....just guesss

[MLR 0]

beyond my understanding. I jus chance upon tis topic and all i can say is that tis seems more like something dat happened in the last century. Tis girl ought to be given a slap and a gd shake as a wakeup call. How could she abuse herself in such a manner... her parents would be heart broken to know dat she is living such a marriage life (if u can even call it a marriage). She is not being noble by suffering in such a way, her family and friends certainly would not want her to live wif such unhappiness. For goodness sake, your parents didn't give birth to you so that tis monster of a man whom she called husband can abuse her. Wif all her education and knowledge, how could she think tis is acceptable!!

One can annul their marriage or get a divorce based on tis. Even in the Muslim community a woman can filed for divorce wif the Syariah court based on tis alone as a form of neglect/abuse....

One last thing to add, if he is unable to engage in interc****e due to medical or physiological reason after accident/illness and she went ahead and marry him with full knowledge of it, I applaud her courage......... BUT tis is outright cheating her, a fraud!! All I can say is PLEASE DO NOT LET ANYONE ABUSE YOU, wat right have they got??!! There are laws to protect us from abuse and tis is both emotional and physical abuse (to me wat he did = molestation).... if u r in north america, u can hv him jailed (not sure about here).