MLR

One woman whom I know strayed cos her husband work so hard dat got no energy/time for her and she tot husband think she no longer desirable, so she seek assurance dat she still desirable. Another got married bcos of obligations (he paid for her uni and take care of her family). After a couple of years she felt dat she wanted more and when she came across someone wif more $$$, she became greedy for attention/material gains. With better eduation and exposure, women in our society are empowered and dat changes the dynamics of gender balance. Women now r just as powerful as men in terms of financial and corporate status, some even feel dat they don't nid men to support them and they would rather remain single and free. My hb is a foreigner, so i get chance to be exposed to different circles, one of whom i know where couples practise swapping. Initially I was shock and couldn't accept it, recently i came to terms wif it and adopt "as long as u don't involve us, its fine" attitude towards it. They didn't do anything illegal, jus dat we find it unacceptable and stay away from their gatherings. Mayb tis is a better option than keepings secret g/b friends, cos u know who your partner is involved wif I hv been asked by a gf if i would rather lose to another woman or man.... ltr I found out dat her ex left her for a man.... I think dat would kill me, I would rather lost to a woman who is better than me but to lose to a man...... me for not detecting it!

Dats north america, where marriage rate is lower than divorce rate. I m not saying dat women here don't cheat, but tis thread is about men who stray, so happen to come across it and put in my 2 cents worth. We can start another thread and talk about women who stray too

WOWHO... wat a topic... Men who had strayed b4 marriage will most probably do it again, so if gfs know of his past history, pls DON't think u can change him. But of cos there r men who were players and settle down for gd, cos he had been there and done all dat. Men who marry their 1st gf, wife pls DON't ever let him hv a chance, cos he wouldn't b able to withstand temptations, especially those who get away wif it. While I had said the above, most men (whom i had knew/know) strayed after marriage are those that are not satisfy wif wat they hv got and greedy for more. Hving a mistress is a show of their success (financial/status), other than hving a half a million dollars sportcar, its the ultimate boost of ego. Watmore, a mistress is more expensive to keep than a car, dats for sure. Those who can't afford these, will hv a gf, less expenses but more difficult to move on if sianz wif her. There are men who are craving/fighting for their wives' attention, cos their wife has too many hats to wear. Modern day wives are superwomen, she got to be mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, soulmate, maid, friends (both her own and his circle), hostess and on top of all these she is working too. She expect her spouse to be her partner and share her load, but more than often, men jus think dat their role is to bring back the bacon. Wives too bz for them, they go find someone who has time for them. As much as we r a modern society, we r Asian and men in tis society has very different expectations of their wives, without realising how much their wives are already doing on a daily basis. Many wives I know r so taken for granted by their husbands, till they fall ill or walk out. Then the husbands wake up from their dreamland. So..... The topic I did was What Made Men Keep Mistress Or Girlfriends After Marriage.... Wives, do wake up and smell the roses too, don't just let the daily grind wear u down and let your husband hv a chance to stray. Jus my 2 cents....

beyond my understanding. I jus chance upon tis topic and all i can say is that tis seems more like something dat happened in the last century. Tis girl ought to be given a slap and a gd shake as a wakeup call. How could she abuse herself in such a manner... her parents would be heart broken to know dat she is living such a marriage life (if u can even call it a marriage). She is not being noble by suffering in such a way, her family and friends certainly would not want her to live wif such unhappiness. For goodness sake, your parents didn't give birth to you so that tis monster of a man whom she called husband can abuse her. Wif all her education and knowledge, how could she think tis is acceptable!! One can annul their marriage or get a divorce based on tis. Even in the Muslim community a woman can filed for divorce wif the Syariah court based on tis alone as a form of neglect/abuse.... One last thing to add, if he is unable to engage in interc****e due to medical or physiological reason after accident/illness and she went ahead and marry him with full knowledge of it, I applaud her courage......... BUT tis is outright cheating her, a fraud!! All I can say is PLEASE DO NOT LET ANYONE ABUSE YOU, wat right have they got??!! There are laws to protect us from abuse and tis is both emotional and physical abuse (to me wat he did = molestation).... if u r in north america, u can hv him jailed (not sure about here).

Hahaha, u guys Tis is somewat a test to your relationship. i've know couples who broke up during reno.... until cannot resolve then each go their own way. ahockz, your mrs is a smart girl, cos she do small things like making decisions and u do the big things like paying for them... i like her already . Nex, according to my mummy network, Rulang is now the most sort after school in our area, Princess Elizabeth Primary is another, cos these 2 schools' standard now very high. btw, sec school is based on your PSLE results, unless your pri school has affliated sec school like ACS, MGS.... My hb jus made a comment few days ago, he said sometimes he feel dat all i want him to do is to pay and jus shut up.... . Well, hes the type dat take a while to make any decision, after which he'll asked me opinions and then change his mind another few times type.... so sometimes I feel its jus easier to make the decisions and then asked him about it. He did hv his say in things like TV, home theatre system, PCs, toilets, furnitures, etc, which I had given in, in exchange for my absolute say in kitchen and kitchen appliances..... No offence to pple living in JW 9++ or 6++, but that area is very badly designed wif no ventilation or closeness to neigbors (who can watch your tv from their house) in mind. If u been there, u would know dat its airplane paradise.... wif Tuas Naval and Airbase nearby, all of which is definately a for us.

COOL, another interracial and transnational marriage . I pretty sure u hv had received very similar remarks as us . One thing we did notice is dat if your man is white, its more acceptable, guess white supremacy is still very much alive, a leftover from colonial times. Well, in my case, it was my father who was worried about him cheating me, I was mean but I told my father that he is not a millionaires and no one is keen to cheat his daughter of her inheritance, cos theres none, also he should hv faith in his upbringing dat his daughter is not gullible... Anyway, my father is always seeking my hb's opinions on things now, finally believes in his daughter's choice. Don't they look cuter wif curly hair..... Luckily for me, my boy's hair is only curly not kinky. When I was pregnant, i was worried that if its a girl, I wouldn't know how to comb out the hair, cos no experience even doing our straight asian hair. I hv got very short hair for as long as I can remember... Whats worst, my hb's nieces scream whenever their hair get combed, and thats by their very experienced mothers .

After reading so many negative reviews about AB, we had nearly wanted to giveup our $400 deposit wif them. After much considerations and due to the fact that they r the only one who uses same brand of copper tubings and insulation as well as price factor, we decided to take a day off and "supervise" the installation instead. The appt was 10.30 am and they were there at 10.15am. There were 2 young men, Ah Moh and the other who want to remain unknown. After about 45 mins of discussion on how we can best run the trunkings and positions of the blowers, with a round of final cfms, they started workings ard 11.30am. They had asked us to check on the models of the blowers and compressor, insulations and copper tubings b4 they started work. In the meantime, my other contractors came to do more work. We went off for lunch ard 12.30 and asked them if we can get them lunch too. They had requested for any kind rice and a bottle of 100plus each. We finished lunch ard 1pm and went back wif packed lunch and 100 plus for them. They didn't break for lunch till about 2.30 when we nid to leave to run an errand (after 3 hours of observations, we felt safe enough to leave them to finish things up). They had told us that they would be able to wrap things up by 5pm. By 4.30, they called us to say dat ther r done and were testing the units. We returned ard 5pm and he went thru each room wif us, testing each unit individually(as per my request after reading about cooling problem in this forum). Finally they left at 5.45 pm, refusing my token of appreciation for cleaing up the place, which they didn't nid to, as the whole place is still a mess cos theres still work to be done b4 final cleaning tis weekend. Finally after much persuasion took a pack of muffins instead. Overall, we are very satisfied wif their work, professional and efficient. The only thing dat we could really fault them was dat Ah Moh is a very heavy smoker who happily light up every other hour or so during work.

Interesting post. Jus to share my experience.... I m chinese married to black, and no he is not from Africa, he is of African decent. From my sentence u would hv guess how many times i go thru this line. i had to explain that jus like we r chinese but not from china to so many pple dat i lost count many years ago... I lost some friends, those who can't accept our relationship. Surprisingly, my family is more receptive of him than my friends.... mayb they r jus happy that i decide to go into a serious relationship. My mum was only concern if he was single and got a steady job. We met 10 years ago, when there was only a handful of blacks here. U can't even imagine the amt of comments dat we got from strangers in public, we had nearly caused accidents on the road b4. We were just crossing the road at a traffic light and pple in the cars were staring at us and their cars were rolling forward.... !! I hv been asked if all chinese men died, hv i tot about how pple will c our children, y i chose black instead of white, does he hv a real job (cos lots of pple here think black r only capable of playing basketball, football, rap or hip hop) . We r married for 4 years now and we hv a 21 mth old boy, when daddy is not wif us, pple think i m the nanny, my boy is malay or indian, is his hair permed??!! All these things dat we go thru each day jus make our relationship stronger, cos rite from the start when we decide to be together, we know wat we will hv to go thru on a daily basis.... We work harder to keep our relationship going and hv lots of laughs along the way..... collecting new comments and making them our private jokes to share wif our other interracial marriage friends. Our exchange of experiences of our vastly different backgrounds enriched our personal selves. Bcos of our different backgrounds, we never presume about anything wif each other, always bear in mind about respect for each other's differences, always speak up and maintain high level of communication. All of which happen to be important key points to a healthy relationship...

F & P design is not as sleek as the Jap/Korean brands. It is more energy efficient, but that depends very much on how often the fridge is open. Jus a simple illustration, we hv a 500L fridge, my mum has a 400L fridge, we r home only after 8pm, my mum is home all day (housewife). Although we hv a higher capacity, our comsuption will be lesser, cos our fridge is open less often. Btw, if u interested, F & P is hving warehouse sales from 19th to 21st June @ Address: 150 Ubi Ave 4, #02-00 Sunlight Building. 8.30 am to 5.30 pm

Hi Felix Jus wondering if your grilles are fixed? Goh had done up theirs and had to b re-done, cos the sliding track for the hall grilles is way off the latch area, thus can't open/close the casement windows properly. Due to the curved design of the area, the only way for the grilles to be flushed close to window, it has to be casement. Hope u r there to take a look during installation.....

Hi Nex, I know of lots of pple who move bcos of their children going to Pri sch. They want their child to go to a specific sch, so move to the 1km radius to b in the advantage. 1 gd example would be Henry Park Primary in Ghim Moh: The 6 blocks of upgraded 3 rooms flat near it, they r priced at least 15 to 25 % higher than those in the same Ghim Moh area. Another is Toh Yi where Pei Hwa is located, theres no MRT near it, yet prices of flats there is incredible. For a 4 room unit, cash over valuation is around 60k to 80k. U r rite to think about these things, lots of youngsters don't, well, i didn't when i was your age... Don't worry lah, as long as its not 6am its fine . We r now there every sat morning ard 10am. After we moved in, pls call an hr b4 visit n u r safe . We hv always lived in the west too, I grew up in Ghim Moh/Holland, stayed in West Coast, Pandan Gardens, Normanton and Pasir Panjang are as close to central as I hv stayed. I work in the west for the past 16 yrs and still am too. As for reno loan, just be sure that u guys don't use more than 30% of your paycheck to repay it and u will be fine. Since u guys r still young, u got time on hand to do lots of plannings and still can charge, charge, charge

Hi Welcome to this thread. Yes, theres a few stall in the hawker centre that was recommended in TV programmes b4. Theres 2 levels of food stalls. Theres also a big coffee shop next to it and theres a small food court in the shopping centre too. Oh yes, theres also a food court on the other side inside NTUC Fairprice, which is behind the multi-storey carpark (theres 2 NTUC Fairprice, one in shopping centre and the other behind MSCP). So food is not a problem. Also, a few bus stops away is the Super Bowl wheres theres Sheng Shiong, Jap restaurants, McDonalds, KFC, food court again....

Ikea kitchen designs are great and like wat S7654R said its easily replaced/updated whenever u want/needed. The limitations dat I encounter are: 1. its pre-fab, so if your kitchen is a weird shape, u want to cover pipings or beams or if u want bigger drawers/shelves, u can't use their system. 2. U nid to be able to do your own layout planning, cos Ikea has only 2 kitchen planners in S'pore, waiting list is LONG. So, unless u can afford to wait, its better to do your own layout planning. 3. Co-ordination.... u hv to be the one doing it. Price wise, its pretty standard. Installation is very affordable as they charges the standard 5% of total costs. Best of all, u can go looks at the various designs and layout as many times as u like b4 u decide on your own. Custom made cabinets also hv its own sets of problems. Mainly are poor workmanship and things doesn't turn out as expected. Just my 2 cents worth...

I ordered Toshiba sys 3 + 2 (non-inverter) from AB too. Bcos they r the only one who use Totaline for both insulation and tubings. If u get from different mfrs and later hv problem, they will blame each other for it, ie insulation will blame bad tubings and tubings will blame poor insulation. Since Totaline is made by Carrier who now owns Toshiba and according to the Toshiba manual, its the recommended materials (of cos due to a fact dat they r the same company). So in future, any problem wif system or insulation, they can't blame other mfrs. A relative from this industry recommend Toshiba cos its the only non-inverter wif 3 ticks in terms of energy savings and we will only be switching on 1 unit a time (inverter won't save much for us in this aspect). We do 5 blowers only bcos we don't want a case if we nid (like festive seasons celebrations) then don't hv (kiasu). Btw the way, class 0 is applicable only if u r doing concealed trunking in the wall and the insulation has to be fire safey graded. Class 0 can be residential or project graded, cos for most projects it is concealed trunking, so class 0 is necessary to meet fire safety requirements. Some installation pple will tell u that the rubber coating of Totaline is bad bcos it will not absorb the condensations from the copper tubings and cause condensation on the casings and thus causing water stains. There is a certain level of truth if u r using the faster cooling R410 refrigerant (inverter system) as compared to R22 (non-inverter), also the thickness of insultation is a consideration factor. My question would be in the case foam insulation absorbs the condensation, wouldn't dat deteriorates the foam in years to come and would nid replacements?

Hi Goh, Thx for the info. So... my renovator is rite lah... nid to do all casement He said that we wouldn't be opening them most of the time anyway. Btw, if u like more of the zen lightings, they r available on ebay for $12 to $20+ depending on sizes.

Hi Goh Wow, shop up a storm in BKK .... nice flower candle lights and so many clocks. U must b a very punctual person to hv a clock even in the bathroom. Mmmm, mayb dats wat i hv to do, my hb has a different clock from the rest of us.... he being punctual means he is less than 10 mins late (especially social functions). I hv a favour to ask, can u pls post a close-up of the window grilles in your hall area. nid to see the track to explain to my renovator on how to hv a sliding design. I really don't want all casement design.... THANK YOU

Hi guys Looks like i missed out.... no choice, timing not rite for me. We r mostly in on Sat mornings, so if u guys want to drop by, just drop me a line. Hey Nex, tis will not be your only house, most married couples dat i know will go thru at least 2 to 3 house movings. So, just save up and go all out on your next place. Also, by that time, your child(ren) will be grown out of toddler age and wouldn't cause too much damage. We didn't take reno loan too, scared of too much commitments and cannot fulfil and if one of us is out of work, then sure die lah....

OK OK guys, I m in my late 30s and my hb jus past the big four O..... Nex, u r at least 1 cycle younger than me!!!! When i was your age, i wasn't thinking about house/marriage at all, I was still a party animal then... I now hv a 2 yr old, so now growing younger..... cos nid to b his age to communicate wif him Oh btw, I m posting in your blogs and also in the YS neighborhood thread, so pls forgive if I m repeating myself.... another sign of getting lao liao...

My renovator say cannot do sliding at all, cos its curved.... all has to be casement. If want to do sliding, then the track will be off the window latch area, leaving a gap between the track and the latch.....

Hiya, as according to your list, the bigger part of the costs goes to hacking and retiling = S$4360. $4140 is a little high for a 25ft kitchen cabinet. U can get it done cheaper. If u r interested I can PM u my renovator..... Btw, its not the size of the flat. its the size of the kitchen... if yours is an older flat, kitchen is much bigger. New flats hv bigger living/dining area but very small kitchen. Some can only put in a 8ft counter top...

Hi ane, I gotten great tips and info from someone's blog, he writes well and in great details, hereby sharing...http://renovation-greencoal.blogspot.com. He made a detail comparison of the diffrent counter tops materials in his 04/27 - 05/04 entries (see the left side of the blog page) and care & maintenance tips of the different materials in his 05/04 - 05/11 entries (end of it). Hope tis helps....

Hi guys, jus go news dat Rinnai 8L gas heater from Citygas is available for booking of installation from 16th June onwards. Nex, mayb should let your ID know and book early....

Hi Goh, The grilles in the hall, is it one casement and 2 sliding? I m hving a disagreement wif my renovator on tis. Cos, its an odd number od panels, so cannot do all sliding??!! Also, pls advise MBR grilles arrangement... same issue due to the little L shape design... Thx...

No problem.... If i m 10 years younger (would be around u guys' age) I would most probably DIY lots of stuff, now.... I m jus trying to get things done without feeling burnt out. Lao liao.....

If u intent to do wallpaper on doors, u got to consider the surface smoothness , which means u nid to sand or paint the door 1st, also if u want to stick the wallpaper yourself, practise 1st, unless u hv done tis b4. Tis is very impt especially if u chose a pattern dat is less forgiving wif alignments. If u r handy, can buy doors from ****, varnish and install it yourself . One of my friend did dat and saved about $100+ per door.